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Christian Weddings

How much?

So, I have never planned a wedding before and none of my friends have been married before so I am coming to you guys. So, my pastor from my church is marrying us. Do we pay him or do we make a donation to the church? And what is the appropriate ammount to give?


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Re: How much?

  • fpaemp2011fpaemp2011 member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    Could you ask the church secretary what they charge for non-members?  The church we're getting married at charges $200 for their pastor (in addition to use of the facilities) if you're not a member.  But, FI's dad is doing our ceremony, so that doesn't apply to us.  He said we're not allowed to pay him at all for the ceremony, so I'm not sure what we're going to do.  My 3 pastors are also involved in the ceremony...I can see my parents giving each of them a card with $50 or so as a Thank You. 
  • edited December 2011
    Well, they will only marry people that are members of the church. Thanks though.
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  • mattycammattycam member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011

    I may be wrong but usually if you are using your home church and pastor, there is not a charge to members. Perhaps a small donation of $100 can be given to the pastor as a thank you.

  • iamjoesgurliamjoesgurl member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary
    edited December 2011

    A lot of pastors are on a low salary and would appreciate a nice honorarium.  If you are doing counseling with the pastor, he will probably spend a lot of time preparing and delivering the sessions.  If you are not doing counseling through him, you will be giving him an honorarium for his time during the rehearsal and ceremony plus the time he spent preparing your vows, etc.  Without counseling, $100 - $200 would be appropriate.  With counseling, you would want to give more.

    The church may charge you to use the facilities, but you should definitely recognize the time and effort he spent by giving him an honorarium.  Churches do not typically pay extra to their pastors for funerals and weddings.  Hope this helps!

  • erolliserollis member
    Sixth Anniversary 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    A donation or gift of 100 to 200 would definitely be appropriate if his service is free of charge. I would give less if your church does require a payment for his service.  This is not to be confused with what the church charges to use the facility. His service is separate from that.
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  • edited December 2011
    I would definitely give him a "thank you" of 100-200. My pastor is a good friend of the family so he's asking for no money, but this is what I know to be customary for members of the church.
  • katanne9katanne9 member
    edited December 2011
    A family friend/Pastor married us. He never mentioned his fee. We got married outside so there was no church donation.

    We gave him a gift of $200 cash.
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