Flower Girl... need opinions please :)

Re: Flower Girl... need opinions please :)

• RaptorSLH member

  

  December 2011

  The last three weddings I've been to had no flower girl.  The fourth back had no flower girl or ring bearer proper, but did have a young child hand out the rice packets.  You don't need one, and it won't look strange without one.

  

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• artbyallie mod

  

  December 2011

  Please do not pick some random child to use as a prop. It should be a child you know and love. If you are not close to a child of the right age (I recommend 4-8 since younger children do tend towards meltdowns), then don't have one. It will be fine.

  

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• lenergyrlah member

  

  December 2011

  I think it's best to only have flower girls / ring boys if there's a family member, godson, etc. who fits that range.  I don't think kids should just be props in a wedding.

  
  

  I'm not having a ringboy or flower girl in my wedding.

  

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• Jlaineb

  

  December 2011

  If you are close with her parents and she is an important part of your life, I say go for it! There are other options for her besides the traditional showering of petals--she can hold a bouquet like you, be pulled in a wagon, etc. I would take her personality into account--is she outgoing? Withdrawn? Cries when apart from her mom? These will be huge factors into the relative success of her walking down the aisle. Be prepared for a possible meltdown (at that age though, I think people tend to interpret shyness or goofy antics as adorable and not "Oh Lord, that child doesn't know how to behave). 

  
  

  My niece and nephew will be 3 1/2 and 2 1/2 at the time we get married, but we love them to death (the only kids in our families) and don't really mind if things don't go exactly as planned. 

  
  

  I do agree with everyone else--don't ask her if you aren't close with her, and don't at all feel like you have to have a flower girl. Only 1 of the last 5 weddings I went to had one, and you didn't even notice they weren't there.

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• ElisabethJoanne member

  

  December 2011

  There are lots of children in our lives who would be perfect flower girls and ring bearers, but we're skipping this "tradition." We're keeping our wedding party small (2 attendants for each) to save hassles. We're inviting all the children and their parents who might "normally" be flower girls or ring bearers as guests (and all other adult guests' children; ours is the opposite of a "no kids" wedding).

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• Meghannsix member

  

  December 2011

  Don't have a flower girl just to fill a space, have one if there's a little girl in your life that you have a special relationship with and want to include.  Plenty of weddings don't have flower girls, it won't look strange.

  

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• LittleMissCutiePie

  

  December 2011

  Originally, we weren't going to have flower girls. Now we have two. You don't NEED a flower girl. It's becoming more and more common to go without one. And 3 might be a bit young. I was five when I was a flower girl, and my mom says any younger and I would have been a pain in the you know what. Any younger than about four you get issues like them needing naps, having tantrums, or wandering off to find their parents. If you do decide to have her as a flower girl, make sure her mother or father sit at the front, near the aisle, so if she gets nervous and wants to go to them, she can see them and make it down the aisle.

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• littleluckypenny member

  

  December 2011

  I have lots and lots of little ones in my family who I love to pieces, but we are not having flower girl/ring bearer.  They are not necessary.

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• AurorasEnvy

  

  December 2011

  I'd go without if you don't have any children that are close to you guys.  We aren't having a flower girl or ring bearer - we don't really know any kids that age that are close to us, and my personal feeling is that the last thing I want to stress out about are  kids not doing what they are supposed to or throwing a tantrum during my ceremony (neither of which I find cute).

  
  

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• Maggie0829 member

  

  December 2011

  Don't have a flower girl just because you think you have to have one or that it would be weird not to have one.  I have been to many weddings where there weren't flower girls or ring bearers...we didn't have either in our wedding either.  Kids are unpredictable and you never know what they are going to do...they may walk down aisle, they may run screaming in the other direction.  Since you don't have any close family (such as nieces or nephews) I say forgo the kids in the wedding.

  
  

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• graysquirrel member

  

  December 2011

  I agree with pps. Have her if you are close to her. If not, it is something easily left out of your wedding. We chose not to have child attendants and nobody seemed to care. Not a single person asked us about it or commented. I was glad that we did not have any in the end. It was such a hectic day and it was one less thing to worry about, one less thing to coordinate, and one less thing that could have gone wrong.

  

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• Kelseyg1 member

  

  December 2011

  I didn't mean to make it sound like we'd be using her to fill a gap in the wedding. We are very close with her parents. I think I've decided to go without a flower girl.  Thank you all for the advice

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• lizw1013

  

  December 2011

  My fiance's best friend who also happens to be his best man, has a daughter that will be three for our wedding and we chose her to be a flower girl, but I also have my cousin who will be seven at the time to be a flower girl as well to help the little one.  Three is definitely a great age for a flower girl but you may want to think about having someone walk down with her if you don't have another older girl to be a second flower girl because there is a very big chance that she'll get scared and won't get down that aisle if she has to do so by herself.

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