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I just need to talk about it.

SugarFooteSugarFoote
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in Christian Weddings

So I know I don't post on here a lot but I have got to talk about this before I go off on everyone around me.

FI and I had originally set our date for June 29, 2013....Then changed it to June 22, 2013 because it was too close to July 4th and we would have to pay holiday rates on the honeymoon. I am still in college. FI has just recently got this awesome new job. I just paid off my car and FI is in the process of buying a new himself a new one because his is basically dead. It's pretty safe to say that we aren't financially in the spot were we are comfortable getting married. Like I said before, I am a college student...a college student who works part-time but after a cell phone bill, car insurance, lunch and gas...there isn't much left. So we have decided to put the wedding off until sometime in 2014, Lord willing.

Since we have put it off, it's like everyone other than our families (who think this is a very smart idea for us to put it off and are 100% supportive) are upset about it. "Why did you put the wedding off?!" "Are you not ready to get married?" "John, I told you they wouldn't get married. See, I was right." "That's stupid."....
Umm seriously? Since when is being responsible stupid? Is it really any of your business when we choose to get married? Did I miss the part where you paying for the wedding? Because last I checked, me and my parents footed the bill.

People are ignorant. Just because a person has a long engagement doesn't in anyway mean they aren't ready to get married. We want to be financially stable going into a marriage, and that is what we are going to do, thank you very much.

Sorry for the rant...I just seriously had to get that out my system

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Re: I just need to talk about it.

  • ochemjennochemjenn member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    Several ladies on this board had long engagements, for various reasons.  We had a two-year engagement because DH's parents didn't want us to get married before he finished med school.  Financially it made sense for us to wait.  It was hard sometimes, and not everyone "gets it," but remember that what's important is what is best for you and your FI.  I'm glad your parents are supportive of your decision.
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  • mrandmrsbristmrandmrsbrist member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    I think it's safe to say that people outside the situation are generally very ignorant. You know what they say about assumptions ;) I know it's so frustrating but try not let it bother you. *hugs*
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  • Annas2013Annas2013 member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    Good luck with everything!  Yes, people are going to think what they want about your situation, but don't let it bother you.  We got engaged young and we hadn't been dating very long (according to some people) so when we got engaged people started asking if I was pregnant.  Um no.  We're having a long engagement.  And due to school our date has changed twice.  You and your FI are doing what's best for you and are doing the mature thing.  Let people think whatever they want.  Your families support you and your FI and that's what really matters.
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  • naomikbnaomikb member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    You're engaged, you're already showing your commitment to each other. I'm glad you're waiting and being responsible about the wedding date -- it's not worth going into debt over! Don't worry about what they say. In the end you two are doing what's right for you.
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  • FaithCaitlinFaithCaitlin member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    People are rude. I recommend ignoring the nasty comments and just surrounding yourself with people who support you.

    We got engaged in October of 2010 and we are getting married this December. 2 year engagement. It allowed us to become financially stable, it allowed FI to get a great job, and I'll just have finished college in early December.

    Ignore the naysayers; do your thing. 

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  • sessionsweddingsessionswedding member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    DH and I were engaged for 1 year and 9 months by the time we got married.  There's nothing wrong with a long engagement, especially when it's for a responsible reason like financial stability.  Are you the first in your circle to get married?  Those who don't understand a situation tend to be the ones who are quickest to criticize.
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  • SugarFooteSugarFoote
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_i-just-need-to-talk-about-it?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:62de328e-478e-4d2b-858b-885fac30db32Post:3623f7ac-7f7a-4d43-bded-591fd6d3c006">Re: I just need to talk about it.</a>:
    [QUOTE]DH and I were engaged for 1 year and 9 months by the time we got married.  There's nothing wrong with a long engagement, especially when it's for a responsible reason like financial stability. <strong> Are you the first in your circle to get married? </strong> Those who don't understand a situation tend to be the ones who are quickest to criticize.
    Posted by sessionswedding[/QUOTE]

    I'm not the first but I'm not the last either. We have been together 10 months today.  And we got engaged at 5 months. Since we hadn't been dating long, everyone began saying that I must be pregnant....completely not true. FI is a Baptist preacher...kissing is by far the "worst" we do. I guess they are all mad that their rumors aren't true. I don't really know what their deal is. I mean 95% of them all eloped. I guess they don't understand that we are actually having an engagement.
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  • joe&cassiejoe&cassie
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    We have the opposite problem!  My parents and family want us to wait 3 years instead of 2.  My FI will graduate right before we get married but I will have been out for a year.  Just ignore them.  I thank my family for their opinion and then move on.  I know what is right for me and you know what is right for you.  For what it is worth you guys are making an excellent decision.  Money always creates strife in couples whether they are newlyweds or have been married for years.  Also you get to be a June 2014 bride with me! lol
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