Assigned seating or not

Sparkette19 · March 2010

Is anyone having guests sit wherever they like?

I was originally thinking about having assigned seating or table number, but my cousins wedding didn't have this and I thought it was great. People choose where they wanted to sit and everything went smoothly...plus I'm sure it was one less thing the bride had to do!

What are your thoughts on no seating assignments?

SoonToBeB · March 2010

For my wedding its pretty much a must-do.
My family has many non-English speaking people and I don't want them to feel uncomfortable. We have many different groups/types of people (old Polish traditional family, kinda crazy co-workers, etc) We don't want people to end up in random seats with their polar opposites. Plus with families with children they won't fit into just any table like a couple would. So we have to work to make families fit...

I hope that makes sense...

Hinaj · March 2010

I have attended many wedings where there was no assigned seating and there were never any problems. But I personally would have assigned seating on my wedding. I have heard that ususally it helps if you have grandparents and close family that you want sitting closer to you end up further away because some other guests got their first. So you can always reserve the tables. But it is not necessary at all and if its something you don't want to do, then I say skip it. It's all about personal preference. HTH!!

mandybear7 · March 2010

I am having assigned seating. Unless you have more tables than needed, I can't see it all working out nicely. I would also check with your venue. We have to assign tables for serving and dinner choice purposes.

ladybug7485 · March 2010

I have been to a wedding where they did this and it worked out well. However, I would suggest asking your reception venue because I asked mine about that and they recommended assigned seating as it seems to be less chaotic in their experience and easier for serving the dinner.

Sparkette19 · March 2010

Our wedding is going to be on the smaller side I think. Our guest list is barely 100 at the most and it's a Friday wedding too, so I think that will prevent some people from being able to make it.

I was thinking about having more seats available than necessary too, but then again with people not knowing each other...I keep going back and forth. The wedding I went to without assigned seating was family so it wasn't that big of a deal, we all knew each other and were comfortable. However I can see that others that won't know each other that well might be uncomfortable.

heizer10910 · March 2010

like assigned seating as in table numbers? or specific places at said table?

MsBunny312 · March 2010

My fiance's sister's wedding didn't have assigned seating, but then it was super casual and she had a heavy hors d'oeuvres buffet. So it wasn't a sit-down plated dinner and people milled about eating, sitting and talking next to friends/family, getting back up for a drink or food refill, and then sitting down somewhere else. We might end up doing the same because it worked out very well.

However, if you are doing a plated dinner where people will be stuck wherever they sit for a long period (ie. all of dinner and dessert), then I think assigned seating cuts down on awkwardness that could arise. I think it's important if you have a lot of children, because you don't want them to get separated from their parents because there weren't seats available together.

HRF2679 · March 2010

I went to a wedding once and there was not assigned seating and it gave me flashbacks to finding a seat in the cafeteria on the first day of school. It was like a mad rush to find seats next to the people you wanted. It was confusing and annoying. Especially since it was a summer wedding, so no coats or anything to signal if a seat was actually already taken or not. I thought it was a bad idea and put a lot of pressure on the guests. People want YOU to place them deep down inside. The less they have to think about things that day, the better. More planning on your part though, but your guests will appreciate it. At least that's my opinion...

sgylling · March 2010

As a guest I would be more stressed out without assigned seating. Unless, like PP said and you hade more tables than needed. I am doing assigned seating (by table) and it is super stressing me out, but I figure my guests won't be stressed at least:) I like the cafeteria analogy, haha

MISSCOURTNEY20 · March 2010

We are doing assigned seating because my FH's guest list is so small that we don't want them to be scattered all over the place. We are also doing it so that people will be able to sit with people that they know. ie co-workers, family, church family, etc. In my opinion, if there isn't assigned seating, there will always be someone who is left out and has to sit with a lot of people that they don't know. Assigned seating solves this problem.

duckie1905 · March 2010

As a guest I prefer that a wedding has assigned tables. I've been to a few without assigned tables but there were no "extra" seats for guests that didn't sit in perfect groups of 8 or 10. I ended up sitting with people I didn't know or didn't really have anything to talk about and once DH and I had to split up because there were no tables with 2 seats left by the time we went to find a seat.

Now, if you provide extra tables and chairs so groups can sit in numbers they are comfortable with I think that is fine. But many times people don't have venues that can accommodate 4 or 5 extra tables.

Golfer09 · March 2010

I would also recommend assigned seating - I'm not sure if you are doing a plated dinner or buffet.

There might be chaos when people start "saving seats" for other people and then go table hopping. Plus, you might get the issue with "orphan" seats where there might be an awkward situation where a couple has to split up.

Definitley go with assigned seating - less worry and stress for the guests.

thealphabride · March 2010

We are having assigned seating as well for all of the reasons stated above.

jessNlane52804 · March 2010

I hate going to a wedding without assigned seating. I'm no social butterfly and it's just stressful trying to find a good seat. FI's cousin didn't do assigned seating at her wedding a few years ago and the brides' uncle didn't get to sit with his wife and we ended up having to pull up a chair for the bride's grandma because she ended up without a seat. I agree that deep down guests want you to just tell them where to sit so they don't have to go through the hs cafeteria thing again.

Assigned seating or not

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