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emeejeeayen
member
whatshouldwecallweddings.tumblr.com
Fiance in Law School
in Students
My fiance starts law school in DC in September. We haven't decided when I'm moving there, but probably before December. Basically, I'll move once (if?) I get a job out there.
Anyone out there in Knot cyberspace in law school or have a husband/fiance in law school? Curious to see what the experience will be 
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Re: Fiance in Law School
[QUOTE]HAHAHA so we shouldn't plan the wedding for right in the middle of finals? :P (kiiiidding!) Can I ask if you/your husband moved for law school? (Thus creating the need to form new social circles.) I think my biggest concern is that many people report law school being a bit like private high school in that it's competitive, cliquey and big on huge parties after major exams. We're sort of over that phase of our lives (I mean, right ?) so I'm curious what my fiance's (and thus my) new social circle will look like. <strong>Fingers crossed that he meets doods with gfs/fiances/wives rather than single wanna-be-frat guys? :\</strong>
Posted by emeejeeayen[/QUOTE]
<div>YGPM!! </div><div>
</div><div>:) My experience is that this is what happens, though. Single people tend to find each other 1L year, and the committed people tend to find other committed-people to hang out with... </div>
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Fiance in Law School : YGPM!! :) My experience is that this is what happens, though. Single people tend to find each other 1L year, and the committed people tend to find other committed-people to hang out with...
Posted by sarahdactyI[/QUOTE]
This is what happened at my school as well. There were plenty of married folks (or singles who were past the party hard phase of life) and they got to know each other. In fact, one of them actually started a group for the spouses of law students, so they could get to know each other better.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Fiance in Law School : YGPM!! :) My experience is that this is what happens, though. Single people tend to find each other 1L year, and the committed people tend to find other committed-people to hang out with...
Posted by sarahdactyI[/QUOTE]
Concurring. There was always a committed-people-crowd and a crazy singles crowd when I was in law school. They even overlapped sometimes if you want to go to a crazy party or two. You'll be fine.
My FI and I were in law school together, so my experience was obviously very different than yours will be, but FWIW, it can be tough for spouses to integrate themselves into the law school social circle. I really think the key is just to believe that you're just as much a part of the group as the law students are, and act accordingly!
Also, understand that he won't be at home most of the time. He will be in the library studying or at socials that the school hosts (usually part of a CLE lecture) that will allow him to meet local attorneys.
[QUOTE]More than anything else, be prepared to be put on the back burner from now until after he sits for the bar exam. I am convinced that the reason DH and I did not break up while I was in law school is because he was a travelling consultant those years and we only saw eachother on weekends - and some weekends I was kicking him out for guy friends time because i neeeded to study or work on something for Moot Court. Also, understand that he won't be at home most of the time. He will be in the library studying or at socials that the school hosts (usually part of a CLE lecture) that will allow him to meet local attorneys.
Posted by GoodLuckBear14[/QUOTE]
<div>I work in PR, and when I used to work PR in NYC, I would regularly not come home until after 10pm, so thankfully I'm used to what it's like to be on that side of things and will completely understand him needing to do that now with law school. On that same note, he remembers how un-fun it was to be the one always waiting for me to get home, so he's going to try to be considerate of that and set aside time that we can spend together. I think the real importance is small doses of quality time vs large doses of just-sitting-on-the-couch-doing-nothing time. (Obviously theoretical, we'll see how it plays out these next three years, haha, but if we could get through my insane crazy job in NYC - I have the best stories! - we can get through anything.)</div><div>
</div><div>And I <em>hope</em> he's in the library studying all the time! He's a genius (like, actually) and has never had to before, but he's going to a great school, and he won't be a big fish in a small pond anymore. He better study! ;)</div>
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Fiance in Law School : And I hope he's in the library studying all the time! He's a genius (like, actually) and has never had to before, but he's going to a great school, and he won't be a big fish in a small pond anymore. He better study! ;)
Posted by emeejeeayen[/QUOTE]
My bf has just finished his 1L year and going into it was very much used to being the big fish. As much as the law school culture and actually having to study was a shock (don't worry, he will, there is so much work it's impossible not to!), what seemed to take him the longest to get used to was not being the big fish. Until after the first semester grades are released, no one knows who is even in the running to be the big fish.
The biggest piece of advice I can give you is stay out of his way! I work full-time, and I'm working towards my degree in the evenings so it was easy to keep myself occupied while he's studying.
Next, make time to be a couple. On day 1, I banned Ramen noodles, and made an effort to make dinner (even if it's just pasta and ragu) every school night. In return, he sits down at the dinner table and we talk over dinner. Sometimes about law, sometimes not. Particularly around finals, it's been the only point in the day we've had a real conversation (though usually law focused).
And expect 'finals' to seem to take months. Midterms were in October, and from the week before midterms until the end of finals, bf was in "Finals mode" (though the last month is another step up). There is so much material to cover.
Bf made friends with the single and frat boys. They would typically go out to bars and clubs every other weekend. We probably joined them every other time. I'm still finding it tough to find friends up here, unfortunately work did not help. Maybe this year...