Different Dietary Restriction Question

eshaufle · September 2010

So this kind of goes along with the vegetarian thread below but I didn't want it to get lost in that thread as it's more of a question as how you ask versus whether to offer an option.

Where did you guys ask if there was a dietary restriction/allergy for a guest? Should this go on a response card?

Also, where do you draw the line on what's considered a "restriction"? I'm not judging or anything so I'm not being unsympathetic to peoples' chosen diets because I eat whatever so I don't even know that much about other people's diets. For example, my parents told me they have some friends that heard a gluton-free diet is healthier so that's what they do now. They're not celiatic, they just don't eat it. Is that considered a "restriction" or is that the same as saying that they're on like the South Beach diet or that they don't eat seafood. Where is the line between a restriction and a diet preference?

I only ask because at most places it's an upcharge for every additional entree you offer. If our meal is already let's say $50 pp and then they charge you $x amount for every vegan, gluton-free, diabetic meal choice...you can see it adds up. I want to accomodate but I'm assuming there's a line somewhere between diet and an actual restriction.

tldh · September 2010

For me restriction means you cannot eat it for medical reasons. At our last meeting with the caterer I had to emphasize that he has to be sure the kitchen absolutely does not use the same pan that had shellfish in it for any other cooking unless it's been washed thoroughly because my mom and brother are allergic. It sounds like something you shouldn't have to say but my brother had to go to the ER one night because some genius in the kitchen decided to make SIL's scallops and shrimp in the same pan as his chicken because they were busy and space was tight.

eshaufle · September 2010

Oh man...shellfish allergies are scary. I definitely agree an allergy is a restriction but I guess I broadened my definition of a restriction because "technically" some vegetarians are not medically directed to that diet. In fact, most of the vegetarians I know are self-declared.

marissa_claire · September 2010

The only things I would consider are issues where they cannot eat it at all, plus vegetarianism. I actually had a friend with a disorder that he could not eat any protein ever (I know it sounds like the worse disease of all time... no meat, no eggs, no dairy). If someone's dieting and going to a wedding, they should not expect you to accommodate their diet unless they request a vegetarian option.

eshaufle · September 2010

So would you say at the bottom of the response card (or insert...I don't know) something along these lines?:

Do you require a vegan meal? Yes/No
Please list any allergies you may have__________

It seems so questionnaire like and kind of tacky. Hence why I need some guidance on this :-)

anna.oskar · September 2010

We didn't ask about dietary restrictions and I have never seen a response card with it asked.

That being said, my H has severe allergies and we always write a little note or call the bride so that we can choose the most appropriate meal. We also had 7 guest at our stations/buffet reception do this. I feel that people with true dietary restrictions know their limitations and take the appropriate actions themselves.

eshaufle · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_food-cakes_preference-response-cards-other?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:23Discussion:8f6fef90-6555-4d77-ae66-c42dd5a1e99fPost:04b132fc-ad44-4736-8dcb-5764ea68d1ef">Re: Different Dietary Restriction Question</a>:
[QUOTE]We didn't ask about dietary restrictions and I have never seen a response card with it asked. That being said, my H has severe allergies and we always write a little note or call the bride so that we can choose the most appropriate meal. We also had 7 guest at our stations/buffet reception do this. I feel that people with true dietary restrictions know their limitations and take the appropriate actions themselves.
Posted by anna.oskar[/QUOTE]

Yeah, I had never seen it on a response card (and personally don't want it there anyways). And I would hope people with those types of restrictions would take it upon themselves to inform us. We're not having a buffet dinner though (where I could have some sort of pasta dish just in case for vegetarians) so I don't want to assume that since I didn't hear anything from anyone that I don't have to tell the chef to prepare special entrees.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · September 2010

I agree with Anna. In my area/circle, there's always some kind of vegetarian option. But for those with allergies, they'll know to note it on the card, call you, or plan their food in advance.

[Deleted User] · September 2010

i agree with pp- if someone has an allergy, they would most likely contact you in advance. i have a very small guest list, and i know everyone's food issues, lol.

Rachel302 · September 2010

Not that you need to make this your problem at this point, but there are people who won't tell you their dietary restrictions and will flag down a server at the reception to explain their needs. I worked in catering for almost 10 years and there's always someone with some sort of issue that no one knew about until a half hour before dinner service. At that point it's only a problem for the kitchen and certainly not the bride. Very frustrating, but we were usually able to come up with something satisfactory for all involved.

I personally wouldn't put all of that on the card.

AbbeyS2011 · September 2010

Along the line of food allergies, but a different vein is to remember alot of people also react to nuts and peanuts. I have seen many brides posting their cake selections including peanut butter, almond, pecan,hazelnut, etc. flavorings. My MOH and my FSIL are both highly allergic to nuts,even nut flavored products, so I am going to make sure there are none at my reception.

As PPs have said, if a guest has a severe allergy, they will call ahead and inform you of their needs, or come prepared.

kaesha · September 2010

I made it my business to ask people via family/word of mouth and created a spreadsheet to keep track.

HisLilSassafras · September 2010

For me dietary restriction equates health or moral issues eating it. I wouldn't expect someone practicing Hinduism to eat beef and I wouldn't expect a vegetarian to eat meat. If someone is on some weird diet they can figure it out or just have salad. I am not going to shell out a lot of money for their vanity.
I would also not have it on the response card. I would put the information on your website saying that if you have food allergy please contact me.

Starqueg · October 2010

If you know that you have friends/family who have restricted diets, and are really adamant that everyone accomodates them, you might have to choose between having them be hungry and cranky or planning a dish that they'll eat. My little brother is vegan, by choice, but his attitude is that it's his choice, and don't worry about it he'll either find something at the party or eat on his way home. We were at a cousin's wedding a few years ago, and they had a vegetarian option, but it was filled with cheese. He got by on the few things he could eat, and then stopped for take out on the way back to the hotel. I don't think they even know that he barely ate at their wedding.

I agree with what others have said, if they're worried about eating at your wedding, they'll let you know. If not, it's not your problem.

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