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I found this interesting

greeneke2greeneke2
500 Comments
in Military Brides
I was over on the Chit Chat board and I found this thread:


I know this topic comes up A LOT in the military world, but I think a lot of time we tend to think of it as just a military thing.  It was nice to see that pretty much everyone has the same view on the topic and I thought you girls might want to read it!  I just found it interesting to read about this topic from mainly non-military brides since I already know what my view on it is, and what the majority of military brides view is!
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Re: I found this interesting

  • Beachy730Beachy730 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    These threads pop up all the time.  There was one on E today too about it, which is actually linked in that CC thread.  The sad thing is that there are always some random posters who feel the need to encourage the bride to do "whatever works for them," and usually posters with bad ideas just look for at least one person to validate them.  
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  • firsttimersluckfirsttimersluck member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    lol yeah I saw both of these.. one of them I saiid to go ask the military board bc we give great advice ;) hehehhehe I'm a jerk.
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  • greeneke2greeneke2
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_found-this-interesting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:9ef29934-5d0e-4d0b-b322-c9fc65d8f9cfPost:4b5f0bee-483e-486f-b1a0-e93be1888157">Re: I found this interesting</a>:
    [QUOTE]These threads pop up all the time.  There was one on E today too about it, which is actually linked in that CC thread.  The sad thing is that there are always some random posters who feel the need to encourage the bride to do "whatever works for them," and usually posters with bad ideas just look for at least one person to validate them.  
    Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]

    <div>Yea I saw that!  I don't post on ALL of the boards and I don't think I am ever on the E board just because I am not far along enough in my planning where I have any questions for that yet.  But I see it all the time on this board.  I thought it was good to see that <em><strong>most</strong><span style="font-style:normal;" class="Apple-style-span"> people have the same view.  And hope that some people that were on the fence about doing something like this would see that the girls on the military board aren't flaming them but it is just in general a completely not good idea to lie to anyone no matter what your "reasons" are.</span></em></div>
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  • greeneke2greeneke2
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_found-this-interesting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:9ef29934-5d0e-4d0b-b322-c9fc65d8f9cfPost:164bb84c-2ca9-409b-9832-1dce2a4d76e4">Re: I found this interesting</a>:
    [QUOTE]lol yeah I saw both of these.. one of them I saiid to go ask the military board bc we give great advice ;) hehehhehe I'm a jerk.
    Posted by firsttimersluck[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>Haha that is funny!  I lurked on a lot of the boards for the longest time because I was scared to post!  I saw a lot of girls at the time get "flamed" (well thats what I thought then) but after I read a lot before posting I realized most of the girls intentions are in the right place when they respond with advice, if I posted I needed to accept that advice I wanted to hear and be prepared for the advice I didn't want to hear, and realize if there really ever was an out of line response to realize that I was on the internet and to take that with a grain of salt!</div>
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  • calindicalindi member
    5000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Piece of advice - the Etiquette board actually has very little (if nothing) to do with actualy etiquette as much as being snarky.

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  • firsttimersluckfirsttimersluck member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_found-this-interesting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:9ef29934-5d0e-4d0b-b322-c9fc65d8f9cfPost:f61a42b6-0bea-4a7c-90dc-cf7e8c39ab3b">Re: I found this interesting</a>:
    [QUOTE]Piece of advice - the Etiquette board actually has very little (if nothing) to do with actualy etiquette as much as being snarky.
    Posted by calindi[/QUOTE]

    not true.. we're just... opinionated..  ;)
    haha yeah I don't blame you. I just kinda go for it.. whatever. most of the time when heated convos happen in boards it's not even towards the OP but to some other poster, like dnbeach and that one which in the board regarding the 14year old daughter of the sister/MOH and the birthday ordeal. hilarious.
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  • Beachy730Beachy730 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_found-this-interesting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:9ef29934-5d0e-4d0b-b322-c9fc65d8f9cfPost:f61a42b6-0bea-4a7c-90dc-cf7e8c39ab3b">Re: I found this interesting</a>:
    [QUOTE]Piece of advice - the Etiquette board actually has very little (if nothing) to do with actualy etiquette as much as being snarky.
    Posted by calindi[/QUOTE]

    <div>Hey hey hey now.  I take offense to that as I am an E reg!</div>
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  • firsttimersluckfirsttimersluck member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    *that one chick (not which... two thoughts at once sorry :P )
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  • KendallR10KendallR10 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We aren't telling people that its a vow renewal. They will all think its a marriage
    Military Brides December 2011 Siggy. Holiday picture with your SO. We suck and don't have one :/ Those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter.
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  • greeneke2greeneke2
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I definitely try to just stay away from the heated convos!  And firsttimer you are right most of the time they aren't even at the original poster!
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  • Beachy730Beachy730 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    That's because a lot of boards have regs that have been around for a while with a lot of history. Then new people come around and don't realize a lot of what's going on. And just like in any setting there are posters who don't like each other or just often disagree.
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  • firsttimersluckfirsttimersluck member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I'm pretty new.. I have been posting like crazy since the man left.. this is my new night entertainment. :P Although I have learned a lot at the same time
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  • kara811kara811 member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    2 in one day? I hate missing this stuff sometimes. I've only woken  up! lol
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  • mob2689mob2689
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_found-this-interesting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:9ef29934-5d0e-4d0b-b322-c9fc65d8f9cfPost:c9bf7861-9f46-4d20-9703-a72b374c8b6d">Re: I found this interesting</a>:
    [QUOTE]We aren't telling people that its a vow renewal. They will all think its a marriage
    Posted by KendallR10[/QUOTE]

    Seriously?
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  • KendallR10KendallR10 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_found-this-interesting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:9ef29934-5d0e-4d0b-b322-c9fc65d8f9cfPost:3cde5064-b2a1-4089-9129-628766ea404a">Re: I found this interesting</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: I found this interesting : Seriously?
    Posted by mob2689[/QUOTE]
    Yup
    Military Brides December 2011 Siggy. Holiday picture with your SO. We suck and don't have one :/ Those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter.
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  • Beachy730Beachy730 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_found-this-interesting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:9ef29934-5d0e-4d0b-b322-c9fc65d8f9cfPost:c9bf7861-9f46-4d20-9703-a72b374c8b6d">Re: I found this interesting</a>:
    [QUOTE]We aren't telling people that its a vow renewal. They will all think its a marriage
    Posted by KendallR10[/QUOTE]

    <div>Seriously, I hope they figure it out and you face all the backlash for it.  If you can read everyone's arguments of why not to lie to everyone, and still think you're a decent person for lying, then I truly hope your lie blows up in your face.  I don't even care how rude that sounds.  </div>
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  • mob2689mob2689
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I just  hope at least your immediate family knows. I sorta figured that when you were not wanting FI to see your vow rehersal dress that you were passing that off as your "wedding"
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  • KendallR10KendallR10 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_found-this-interesting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:9ef29934-5d0e-4d0b-b322-c9fc65d8f9cfPost:43be829c-d2a4-4723-8921-51b23aef87cf">Re: I found this interesting</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: I found this interesting : Seriously, I hope they figure it out and you face all the backlash for it.  If you can read everyone's arguments of why not to lie to everyone, and still think you're a decent person for lying, then I truly hope your lie blows up in your face.  I don't even care how rude that sounds.  
    Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]
    I don't honestly care what other people think. We're going to do what we want. I don't want people remembering that I went to the JOP. How do you think my grandparents would feel that they weren't there to see me get married
    Military Brides December 2011 Siggy. Holiday picture with your SO. We suck and don't have one :/ Those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter.
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  • KendallR10KendallR10 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_found-this-interesting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:9ef29934-5d0e-4d0b-b322-c9fc65d8f9cfPost:6bf7176b-0346-4618-9eeb-61dd7cede017">Re: I found this interesting</a>:
    [QUOTE]I just  hope at least your immediate family knows. I sorta figured that when you were not wanting FI to see your vow rehersal dress that you were passing that off as your "wedding"
    Posted by mob2689[/QUOTE]
    FI has already seen the dress
    Military Brides December 2011 Siggy. Holiday picture with your SO. We suck and don't have one :/ Those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter.
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  • SamiJoeBSamiJoeB
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_found-this-interesting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:9ef29934-5d0e-4d0b-b322-c9fc65d8f9cfPost:c9bf7861-9f46-4d20-9703-a72b374c8b6d">Re: I found this interesting</a>:
    [QUOTE]We aren't telling people that its a vow renewal. They will all think its a marriage
    Posted by KendallR10[/QUOTE]


    Well that's good. I really hoped to start my marriage out with lies too, but unfortunately I took the high road and decided to be a decent person and not lie to the people I love. I hope no one comes to your sham PPD. I hope no one is there eat your deceitful sheet cakes, because you're so special your guests aren't fit to eat your wedding cake with your stupid duck cake topper.  What good reason do you have for lying to your loved ones?! You deserve all the shi* that you will get for doing this. But I'm sure that you have "personal reasons" for your lies. I hope it's worth the possible permanent damage you'll do to your family.
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  • greeneke2greeneke2
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_found-this-interesting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:9ef29934-5d0e-4d0b-b322-c9fc65d8f9cfPost:fbdc2ea5-a433-43aa-9a02-c541dfb6e7c7">Re: I found this interesting</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: I found this interesting : I don't honestly care what other people think. We're going to do what we want.<strong> I don't want people remembering that I went to the JOP. How do you think my grandparents would feel that they weren't there to see me get married</strong>
    Posted by KendallR10[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>I'm really not trying to be mean or anything.  But if you know that you would hurt people by doing it, why would you lie about it and do it anyway.   Why wouldn't you just skip the JOP and do your wedding when you can have everyone there?  Or have those people like your grandparents there for your JOP?</div><div>
    </div><div>And why are you going to the JOP if you are embarrassed of going to the JOP anyway? (I don't know if embarrassed is really the right word, but you said you don't want people to remember you went to the JOP so thats the first word that popped into my head)</div>
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  • SamiJoeBSamiJoeB
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_found-this-interesting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:9ef29934-5d0e-4d0b-b322-c9fc65d8f9cfPost:fbdc2ea5-a433-43aa-9a02-c541dfb6e7c7">Re: I found this interesting</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: I found this interesting : I don't honestly care what other people think. We're going to do what we want. I don't want people remembering that I went to the JOP. How do you think my grandparents would feel that they weren't there to see me get married
    Posted by KendallR10[/QUOTE]


    Maybe you should have thought about that before you JOP'd. Duh. And if you don't care what people think, then be honest about the fact that you were selfish by wanting a JOP wedding, I'm sure for some sort of benefit from the military, and a PPD too. How are you going to get someone to marry you? are you going to lie to your officiant too? what about when you have to sign paperwork? how are you going to play all that off.. perhaps by telling your guests that you're so special, you don't have to sign any paperwork because clearly, You think you are to special to be honest.
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  • KendallR10KendallR10 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We're not embarrassed we just don't have the money to do the big one until 2012. and I need insurance. 


    I don't honestly care. what you all say we are doing what we want
    Military Brides December 2011 Siggy. Holiday picture with your SO. We suck and don't have one :/ Those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter.
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  • Beachy730Beachy730 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_found-this-interesting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:9ef29934-5d0e-4d0b-b322-c9fc65d8f9cfPost:fbdc2ea5-a433-43aa-9a02-c541dfb6e7c7">Re: I found this interesting</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: I found this interesting : I don't honestly care what other people think. We're going to do what we want. I don't want people remembering that I went to the JOP. <strong>How do you think my grandparents would feel that they weren't there to see me get married</strong>
    Posted by KendallR10[/QUOTE]

    <div>How do you think they will feel when they find out, and they ALWAYS find out, that you were married the whole time and lied to them about it?  And led them to believe that what they witnessed was your real wedding? </div><div>
    </div><div>Obviously you're going to do what you want, and you sound like a giant brat.  Seriously, I hope this blows up in your face.  </div>
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  • SamiJoeBSamiJoeB
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    its fine for you not to care about what we think or say, but maybe you should have thought about what your grandparents will say when they find out you're a big fat liar.
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  • Beachy730Beachy730 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_found-this-interesting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:9ef29934-5d0e-4d0b-b322-c9fc65d8f9cfPost:f043acfd-57ad-4bec-8cf1-27f55501af12">Re: I found this interesting</a>:
    [QUOTE]We're not embarrassed we just don't have the money to do the big one until 2012. and I need insurance.  I don't honestly care. what you all say we are doing what we want
    Posted by KendallR10[/QUOTE]

    <div>Wow, because no mature adult has ever needed insurance before.  I broke my wrist and needed surgery a week before I was losing my insurance.  We thought about going to a JOP for about a millisecond, then realized what a horrible idea it was.  Instead, I did the mature adult thing and bought my own insurance for the time being.  And you know what?  That money I spent was worth every damn penny when I looked in my parents and my grandparents eyes on my wedding day and knew that if I had lied to them I would have felt like the world's biggest piece of garbage.  </div><div>
    </div><div>But seriously, good luck with your lies.  </div>
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  • kara811kara811 member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    Kendall, just remember: Karma is a big bad b!tch. 
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  • Beachy730Beachy730 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    What happens if, God forbid, you get in an accident or need surgery, and your family asks how you all of a sudden have insurance to pay the bills?  
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  • mob2689mob2689
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    God forbid but I hope she doesn't say "Oh they may have passed then and they would never know" (The g'parents) Any ways, your marriage will be doomed. Insurance is NOT the reason for getting married. How old are you?
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  • greeneke2greeneke2
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    The military isn't the only way to get insurance.  You can buy it.  Or if you are a student you can get it through your school.

    Oh and if you can't afford a wedding maybe you should wait until you have saved up enough money before you get married instead of taking the military's money to pay for your vow renewal.

    I got engaged in March and we are NOT doing a JOP or lying to anyone and we aren't getting married until May 2012.

    Yes the benefits would be nice now, but I'm not going to lie to anyone just so I can have them.
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