Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

Getting married at a courthouse before our big day.

My fiance and I are planning on getting legal married before our wedding day for some financial reasons. I was wondering how we would go about having our ceremony officiated on our wedding day next year. I'm not sure what to call it or how it should all be worded. Any advice would be appreciated. 
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Re: Getting married at a courthouse before our big day.

  • Fair warning. This is not going to go over well.
     
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    rigel496
  • The legal wedding is your, well, wedding.  Anything after that is a vow renewal.  A vow renewal is not Wedding 2.0; the main differences are that there is no big white gown, no wedding party, no giving away of the bride.  But there should still be cake.  There should always be cake ;-)
    LDay2014
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Ninth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    You can have a celebration on your "big day," but it will not be your "wedding."  The wedding in the courthouse IS your "wedding."
  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 Exit 21 (Jersey!) member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_getting-married-at-a-courthouse-before-our-big-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:70dc3f01-97dc-4cbd-bedc-4e3d74f7c4ffPost:caf5fe53-0a0e-40b1-9176-3a0d5f3f060e">Getting married at a courthouse before our big day.</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>My fiance and I are planning on getting legal married before our wedding day </strong>for some financial reasons. I was wondering how we would go about having our ceremony officiated on our wedding day next year. I'm not sure what to call it or how it should all be worded. Any advice would be appreciated. 
    Posted by rais0018[/QUOTE]

    Newsflash - The day you are legally married IS your wedding day.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_getting-married-at-a-courthouse-before-our-big-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:70dc3f01-97dc-4cbd-bedc-4e3d74f7c4ffPost:c9e69baa-3677-4007-9738-3cad7822d396">Re: Getting married at a courthouse before our big day.</a>:
    [QUOTE]The legal wedding is your, well, wedding.  Anything after that is a vow renewal.  A vow renewal is not Wedding 2.0; the main differences are that there is no big white gown, no wedding party, no giving away of the bride.  But there should still be cake.  There should always be cake ;-)
    Posted by DramaGeek[/QUOTE]



    Yes there should always be cake!!!
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  • http://www.idotaketwo.com/renewing_wedding_vows.html

    This website is a good resource to help you avoid committing the faux pas that is a wedding do-over. The most important things to remember are: make sure everyone is aware that you did in fact get married and this is not a wedding ceremony; no bridesmaids/groomsmen as wedding parties are not appropriate when you are not a bride and groom; no showers or b-parties either.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_getting-married-at-a-courthouse-before-our-big-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:70dc3f01-97dc-4cbd-bedc-4e3d74f7c4ffPost:caf5fe53-0a0e-40b1-9176-3a0d5f3f060e">Getting married at a courthouse before our big day.</a>:
    [QUOTE]My fiance and I are planning on getting legal married before our wedding day for some financial reasons. <strong>I was wondering how we would go about having our ceremony officiated on our wedding day next year.</strong> I'm not sure what to call it or how it should all be worded. Any advice would be appreciated. 
    Posted by rais0018[/QUOTE]

    Since you'll already be married at your party next year, there's no officiating necessary.  The website PP recommended is good -- be sure to find/read the page on Vow Renewal Etiquette.  Good luck!
  • Just don't tell anyone and do it like a normal wedding. 
    [Deleted User]
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_getting-married-at-a-courthouse-before-our-big-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:70dc3f01-97dc-4cbd-bedc-4e3d74f7c4ffPost:0592d7a0-9a1b-46d9-a8c9-a12a23ad8063">Re: Getting married at a courthouse before our big day.</a>:
    [QUOTE]Just don't tell anyone and do it like a normal wedding. 
    Posted by SmallenForever[/QUOTE]

    I hope you were being sarcastic.  If not, you are completely wrong.

    Follow the prior posts about a vow renewal. 
  • You want the benefits of marriage right now?  Then you forgoe the big, white wedding in a year.  That's how life works.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_getting-married-at-a-courthouse-before-our-big-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:70dc3f01-97dc-4cbd-bedc-4e3d74f7c4ffPost:0592d7a0-9a1b-46d9-a8c9-a12a23ad8063">Re: Getting married at a courthouse before our big day.</a>:
    [QUOTE]Just don't tell anyone and do it like a normal wedding. 
    Posted by SmallenForever[/QUOTE]

    <div>I also hope this was sarcasm.  Lying to family and friends is NEVER good advice.</div>
  • edited October 2012
    You are making a choice. As adults, when we make choices, we realize they have consequences, sometimes good and sometimes bad. By choosing to marry early to reap the financial benefits of being married, you are choosing to forego the big white wedding with pouffy dress, a WP, showers, b-parties, etc. Those would not be appropriate for a vow renewal, which is exactly what you'll be doing in a year.

    You can't have two weddings to the same guy without getting divorced in between. The courthouse wedding you are choosing to have now IS your wedding. You will be legally married after it. What you can do next year is a vow renewal (though I find them a little odd after just one year) but look at the site posted above for ideas on how to do it right.


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  • TandksmommyTandksmommy member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited October 2012
    My ex husband and I got married before we had our 'planned wedding ceremony'. Everyone knew we had already been married, this was just a day for us to reaffirm our marriage in front of friends and family (to bad he didn't uphold any of it! HA!) Then we celebrated. We kept the 'wedding' part low key and there were few variations in the ceremony (ie we were not pronounced husband and wife). At the reception, it still was our 'first dance as husband and wife' since we had not danced at any point before that.

    We did not have the bridal shower, bachelor/ette parties, and when asked we told guests we did not need gifts. This was a celebration, not a chance to get extra benefits a second time. Anyone who did not want to celebrate our commitment to each other (we did not invite anyone other than our parents to the marriage ceremony we did in the park)- was more than welcome to decline the invite.

    Knottie98432129
  • Getting married is like losing your virginity - it can only happen once.  So if you get married now for financial reasons, you're married and you don't get a do-over.

    Vow renewals are for milestone anniversaries - 25 or more.  Your vows will still be fresh next year, they don't need to be renewed.  I find the whole trend of vow renewals ridiculous and a thinly veiled excuse for a do-over wedding.

    Part of being an adult is accepting the consequences of decisions that you make.  My advice is either to get married now and accept that this is your wedding, or to wait until you can have the big wedding that you seem to want.
  • PPs (except SmallenForever) have completely nailed it.

    I'd just like to add that when you do a big "do-over" or "Pretty Princess Day" it just comes off as completely childish.   Becoming legally married is a big deal (and you already know that because that's why you feel like you need to do it now to enjoy the very real benefits that flow from it).  If you end up on life support, your parents no longer decide if you live or die--your husband does.  Your property rights completely change.  Your finances will completely change.  Acting like it's "just a piece of paper" and then having the "real" wedding later just seems like you're 1) completely in denial about what marriage means, and/or 2) an incredible glutton for attention. 

    Just wait. Have your big wedding when you're completely ready.  You can do all sorts of things to begin joining your finances now.  The things you can't do (file taxes jointly, etc). until you get married next year won't be a huge deal when you look at it over a lifetime. 

    Good luck. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_getting-married-at-a-courthouse-before-our-big-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:70dc3f01-97dc-4cbd-bedc-4e3d74f7c4ffPost:caf5fe53-0a0e-40b1-9176-3a0d5f3f060e">Getting married at a courthouse before our big day.</a>:
    [QUOTE]My fiance and I are planning on getting legal married before our wedding day for some financial reasons. I was wondering how we would go about having our ceremony officiated on our wedding day next year. I'm not sure what to call it or how it should all be worded. Any advice would be appreciated. 
    Posted by rais0018[/QUOTE]



    Wow, I'm surprised by all of the strong opinions against it. I completely disagree, I don't think it's immature or a "pretty princess day." I'm doing the same thing as you are. We have financial reasons for legally getting married this year, but we can't have the ceremony until next summer, as most of our family would be coming from far away and need time to plan a trip. For us, next year's ceremony is being considered our "spiritual" union, as we will be joining our families together. People will know that we would have been legally married by that point.
    [Deleted User]Knottie98432129
  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 Exit 21 (Jersey!) member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_getting-married-at-a-courthouse-before-our-big-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:70dc3f01-97dc-4cbd-bedc-4e3d74f7c4ffPost:013e0538-b70e-48e5-8029-255b0beb31b5">Re: Getting married at a courthouse before our big day.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Getting married at a courthouse before our big day. : Wow, I'm surprised by all of the strong opinions against it. I completely disagree, I don't think it's immature or a "pretty princess day." I'm doing the same thing as you are. We have financial reasons for legally getting married this year, but we can't have the ceremony until next summer, as most of our family would be coming from far away and need time to plan a trip. For us, next year's ceremony is being considered our "spiritual" union, as we will be joining our families together. People will know that we would have been legally married by that point.
    Posted by Genysis80[/QUOTE]

    I wish people would own up to their decisions and accept the consequences of them rather than trying to have their cake and eat it too. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_getting-married-at-a-courthouse-before-our-big-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:70dc3f01-97dc-4cbd-bedc-4e3d74f7c4ffPost:013e0538-b70e-48e5-8029-255b0beb31b5">Re: Getting married at a courthouse before our big day.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Getting married at a courthouse before our big day. : Wow, I'm surprised by all of the strong opinions against it. I completely disagree, I don't think it's immature or a "pretty princess day." I'm doing the same thing as you are. We have financial reasons for legally getting married this year, but we can't have the ceremony until next summer, as most of our family would be coming from far away and need time to plan a trip. For us, next year's ceremony is being considered our "spiritual" union, as we will be joining our families together. People will know that we would have been legally married by that point.
    Posted by Genysis80[/QUOTE]

    <div>So you're not joining your families when you are legally married?  That's interesting.</div>
  • I don't understand what you mean by "consequences." There are two parts to a marriage; the signing of the legal document, and then the ceremony. Who's to say it has to all happen on the same day? We're not asking anything from anyone for the legal part. The ceremony is really the celebration for the families to come together in spiritual union. Of course the vows and content of the ceremony talks would have to be different so that it wouldn't be deceiving or a "show." Some people might call that a renewing of vows rather than a wedding, but it really depends on how you present it. Rais: Ultimately, you know what is best given your situation and family's circumstances, don't let anyone tell you any different. Weddings vary across cultures around the world. Do what is right for you.
    [Deleted User]Knottie98432129
  • edited October 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_getting-married-at-a-courthouse-before-our-big-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:70dc3f01-97dc-4cbd-bedc-4e3d74f7c4ffPost:013e0538-b70e-48e5-8029-255b0beb31b5">Re: Getting married at a courthouse before our big day.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Getting married at a courthouse before our big day. : Wow, I'm surprised by all of the strong opinions against it. <strong>I completely disagree, I don't think it's immature or a "pretty princess day." I'm doing the same thing as you are. </strong>We have financial reasons for legally getting married this year, but we can't have the ceremony until next summer, as most of our family would be coming from far away and need time to plan a trip. For us, next year's ceremony is being considered our "spiritual" union, as we will be joining our families together. People will know that we would have been legally married by that point.
    Posted by Genysis80[/QUOTE]

    Of course you don't disagree; you're doing the same thing.

    If you want to get married sooner for financial reasons, like the OP, then own up to the CHOICE that you are making as an adult. You are choosing to get married now rather than later to reap financial benefits. The consequence is, you may not have the PPD you have always wanted. It IS childish and immature to not own up to your choices and want to have your cake and eat it too.

    Your reasoning for what you are doing does not make sense. Why would you NOT be joining families at your legal marriage ceremony? Even if families are not physically there because of distance, that doesn't mean you aren't still joining families or becoming a part of each other's families. This seems like an excuse you are using to have your wedding now and a PPD later.


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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_getting-married-at-a-courthouse-before-our-big-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:70dc3f01-97dc-4cbd-bedc-4e3d74f7c4ffPost:79f53a6d-f428-4912-b25c-71e55f7af730">Re: Getting married at a courthouse before our big day.</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't understand what you mean by "consequences." There are two parts to a marriage; the signing of the legal document, and then the ceremony. Who's to say it has to all happen on the same day? We're not asking anything from anyone for the legal part. The ceremony is really the celebration for the families to come together in spiritual union. Of course the vows and content of the ceremony talks would have to be different so that it wouldn't be deceiving or a "show." Some people might call that a renewing of vows rather than a wedding, but it really depends on how you present it. Rais: Ultimately, you know what is best given your situation and family's circumstances, don't let anyone tell you any different. Weddings vary across cultures around the world. Do what is right for you.
    Posted by Genysis80[/QUOTE]

    <div>The thing is, it is a show.  You will have already said vows, you will have already made the lifelong commitment and entered into the contract.  There is nothing left to do.  You are not legally bound until the ceremony, so to say that the legal part and ceremony do not have to happen on the same day is wrong - but when you become legally bound, that is your ceremony, no matter where it happens or who is there to witness it.</div>
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_getting-married-at-a-courthouse-before-our-big-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:70dc3f01-97dc-4cbd-bedc-4e3d74f7c4ffPost:013e0538-b70e-48e5-8029-255b0beb31b5">Re: Getting married at a courthouse before our big day.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Getting married at a courthouse before our big day. : Wow, I'm surprised by all of the strong opinions against it. I completely disagree, I don't think it's immature or a "pretty princess day." I'm doing the same thing as you are. We have financial reasons for legally getting married this year, but we can't have the ceremony until next summer, as most of our family would be coming from far away and need time to plan a trip. For us, next year's ceremony is being considered our "spiritual" union, as we will be joining our families together. People will know that we would have been legally married by that point.
    Posted by Genysis80[/QUOTE]

    Getting married is about saying the words AND signing the legal document.  To be a recongized marriage there are words that are spoken, even it is as simple as a "yes" when the judge asks you a question.  That's your ceremony.  The rest is just fluff.  Soo... you're going to do a legally binding ceremony and then have a fluff ceremony later?  Completely unnecessary. 
  • Ali092011Ali092011 member
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Love Its
    edited October 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_getting-married-at-a-courthouse-before-our-big-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:70dc3f01-97dc-4cbd-bedc-4e3d74f7c4ffPost:ce6dfb4b-a34d-4009-b939-e119bf2f0747">Re: Getting married at a courthouse before our big day.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Getting married at a courthouse before our big day. : Getting married is about saying the words AND signing the legal document.  To be a recongized marriage there are words that are spoken, even it is as simple as a "yes" when the judge asks you a question.  That's your ceremony.  The rest is just fluff.  Soo... you're going to do a legally binding ceremony and then have a fluff ceremony later?  Completely unnecessary. 
    Posted by Joy2611[/QUOTE]

    Perfectly worded. ITA.

    I have always rolled my eyes at threads like this, but now that I am married, this idea makes me ragey. I MEANT my vows when I said them, and I would have meant them whether we got married on the beach with 86 of our friends and family members, or it had just been the two of us in the courthouse. That's what getting married is all about--you and your fiance becoming husband and wife. Once you do that, everything else is just, as Joy said, fluff (except for a reception to thank your witnesses, of course).

    I'm sure all of the other married knotties will agree that it would feel downright silly to walk down an aisle to our husbands and pretend to be saying our vows for the "first time," then kiss for the "first time," etc. when we have already been married. It's ridiculous.

    Also, there are PLENTY of couples who have been married at a courthouse in a simple ceremony. They are just as married as everyone else, and to disagree with that is an insult, plain and simple. My husband married his ex-wife in a courthouse ceremony eleven years ago, and guess what? They still had to get divorced, because regardless of the fact that they didn't have a fancy party, a ball gown, a cake, etc., THEY WERE MARRIED.

    There are also plenty of knotties who did not get to have the wedding they would have wanted due to budget constraints or other issues. Sacrifices had to be made, they had to cut back in areas they wouldn't have chosen to. That doesn't mean they get to save up for the next few years and then have a big do-over with everything they wanted the first time around. Because they are married. Simple as that.
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  • I just think that it's hilarious that 'for financial reasons' is a legitimate excuse for a PPD. Yes, because everyone else that gets married the way you properly should is super rich.

    Like your financial situation is any dire than anyone else's. You know what I did before I was married? I worked, paid bills, and paid taxes as a single person. And it sucked sometimes. But after I met FI, and we got serious, we waited to get married when we could do it the way we wanted. 
    Geez, people.
  • s-aries8990s-aries8990 member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Name Dropper
    edited October 2012
    haha I saw this topic and got out my popcorn before opening it. ;)

    Most of the people here are correct- you are already married and you can't call a Mulligan and have a do-over. If you want a PPD, go for it at your 1-year vow renewal, BUT, to warn you, you WILL by side-eyed by many because it is AW-ish and may seem gift-grabby and you will be lookin' a-fool

    As stated by PP's, as an adult you are making a choice and all choices have consequences- Genysis esp pay attention- but there are GOOD consequences and BAD ones. The good consequences of a courthouse wedding are the immediate legal and financial benefits of being espoused to your SO. The bad consequences are foregoing a large ceremony in front of family and friends for your legal union. The good consequences of a PPD are getting dressed up and eating a fancy meal, but the bad consequences are seeming like an A. W. and offending many by implying that 1) a courthouse wedding isn't good enough, 2) being legally married doesn't really matter unless you get the frills and 3) you want presents

    Another example: Consequences of working out-- Good: losing weight, getting more fit, having more energy. Bad: committing time to do it, being sore after, getting sweaty

    Consequences of eating a cookie: Good- It's a gah daym cookie! Duh! Bad- bad for you!


    Just like you weigh the pros and cons of any decision, getting married is one of those big ones to weigh out. For a PPD a year later, the cons strongly outweigh any good consequences.

    Don't do it as a vow renewal either; I can bet that unless there is some enormous even in the interim, they won't be warranted.

    And if you do have a large anniversary banquet, don't do the whole ceremony thing or the pouffy white dress thing. Just have a formal dinner with a cake and general dancing (no spotlights). Don't go all out either, you'll look like you're trying to have a re-do... not classy
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_getting-married-at-a-courthouse-before-our-big-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:70dc3f01-97dc-4cbd-bedc-4e3d74f7c4ffPost:c64b51d3-0fa0-4ef2-b1db-f9b03b3eee1c">Re: Getting married at a courthouse before our big day.</a>:
    [QUOTE]And if you do have a large anniversary banquet, don't do the whole ceremony thing or the pouffy white dress thing. Just have a formal dinner with a cake and general dancing (no spotlights). Don't go all out either, you'll look like you're trying to have a re-do... not classy
    Posted by sydaries[/QUOTE]

    I just went to one of these "anniversary"/PPD banquets last weekend. The couple was legally married a year ago because she was preggo , unemployed, and needed insurance. DH & I had to attend this couple's PPD as the "groom" is one of DH's employees. The "bride" showed up in a poofy white dress w/ veil, they had bridesmaids and groomsmen, a head table, 250 guests, spotlight dances, cake cutting, you name it. I must've been complaining too loudly to DH at the table because one of the other women leaned over to me and said "This all OK, hun, because they didn't have a <em>real </em>wedding last year!!".

    I almost died. Needless to say, we left shortly after that comment.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_getting-married-at-a-courthouse-before-our-big-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:70dc3f01-97dc-4cbd-bedc-4e3d74f7c4ffPost:be88cbdf-4262-4a6c-83b2-5fe3849f166f">Re: Getting married at a courthouse before our big day.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Getting married at a courthouse before our big day. : I just went to one of these "anniversary"/PPD banquets last weekend. The couple was legally married a year ago because she was preggo , unemployed, and needed insurance. DH & I had to attend this couple's PPD as the "groom" is one of DH's employees. The "bride" showed up in a poofy white dress w/ veil, they had bridesmaids and groomsmen, a head table, 250 guests, spotlight dances, cake cutting, you name it. I must've been complaining too loudly to DH at the table because one of the other women leaned over to me and said "This all OK, hun, because they didn't have a real wedding last year!!". I almost died. Needless to say, we left shortly after that comment.
    Posted by itzMS[/QUOTE]

    Friends of mine were in a similar situation in law school.  They had a JOP wedding.  Years later, both are attorneys (he with his own firm) and could throw one hell of a party.  When asked when they are going to have a "real" wedding, they will cooly tell you that they had their real wedding years ago.  They really get ticked at the insinuation that their wedding wasn't "real."  They did have a convalidation ceremony eventually and they invited only their parents, children and siblings.  Nobody else knew they had even done that until the baptism of one of their children when the priest mentioned it.  These two have my neverending respect.
    Proud to be an old married hag!! image
    d2va
  • To me, as a religious person, I find this equally offensive.

    Your marriage is important as a spiritual union... and you're not spiritually united yet... BUT you want to reap the legal benefits?  How is that acceptable?

    I don't think it's ok to wait to be "spiritually united" but just sign the papers to be "legally united".

    To me, the spiritual/religious aspect is more important, BUT it goes alongside the legal aspect.  You shouldn't separate the two (except in those countries which have to separate the ceremonies... but usually only by like a day, not months or years)

    You only say vows once... whichever kind of ceremony you choose.

    SaveSave
  • I agree with almost everyone here; this is offensive on many levels.

    Clearly this bears repeating.

    You are insulting all the people who have chosen a civil ceremony at a courthouse or private ceremony. People get married privately all the time; does this mean that they're not REALLY married, because they didn't have the party??? You are insulting all of the people who cannot be legally married to their partners because the law forbids it. You are insulting your guests and family by expecting them to show up for your 'wedding' as if you weren't actually married. If you tell them, they will side-eye you, and if you don't tell them, you're lying to those closest to you.

    How is any of this appropriate adult behaviour?
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  • tortor09tortor09 member
    25 Love Its Second Anniversary 10 Comments Name Dropper
    edited October 2012
    Please see my post regarding Couthouse Wedding then a Ceremony...


    I am one of the few people who are following through with it. Do it as long as you plan on being honest to your family about it and you have LEGIT reasons to do so. But please read my post.. it might shed some light onto your situation. I also have posted on theknot and other wedding sites before I went ahead and got married. When I did, I got completely bashed upon on... the only opinion that matters on what should happen is yours, your fiancees, and your families- not random strangers on the internet... they are not the ones attending your ceremony. 

    Knottie98432129
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