Have you ever heard of an OPEN WEDDING?!!?

sstaugaard · May 2010

I've heard of having the ceremony open for anyone to attend with an invite only reception. But then you might have a hard time with "pushy" people trying to get invited to the reception too.

knottief7f08860652a16bf · May 2010

This is why my best friend (She and the groom grew up in the same town) wants to have a destination wedding. It is awkward for the parents to say no to long time neighbors and people from church and so forth.

Good Luck!

Lenore2010 · May 2010

When I was a kid the Catholic church my great aunt attended was always open for weddings, and so many people from the parish would come knowing that there was a wedding that they always opened the balconies and made extra room. I am not from a small town either, this was a pretty common thing among Catholics at least back then (1970's). Of course, people knew they were not invited to the reception, but back in those cheaper and way more wedding-casual days the reception was often held in the church basement. Sometimes, the oldest or longest time members of the parish would end up being invited down for the usually buffet style food and the cake.

Of course, I am now talking about Catholics and days gone by, but if some nice old lady wants to see your dress from the parking lot, what's the harm? I agree with PP's that as long as no one is inviting themselves to the reception it should not be a problem.

weddingbells2010 · May 2010

I'm a teacher and I already know that a TON of my students and their parents are going to show up at the church. As long as they don't pass notes in the pews, I don't care

In fact I'm kind of flattered that they want to go out of their way to see me get married even though they will not be invited to the reception.

Panda2011 · May 2010

I'm having an open wedding, I figure the bigger the celebration the better, if someone cares enough to want to share in my special day, why not???

bklynldy · May 2010

My experience is if you are having a church wedding the church is open to anyone -- of course your reception will be private and by invitation only. Why would you be opposed to friends of the family wanting to see you get married. I think its touching.

HisMegs878 · May 2010

I have heard of this and will have (sort of) an open invitation to those in my church. However, we have a very, very small church and it is mainly older people that knew my Grandmother when they all lived in England before WW2 and after (they all happen to be War Brides and ended up here). I talked to the Bishop and said because I need a head count I need to send invitations so I will be mailing invitations to everyone so they can RSVP yes or no. But I would never do this if we had a very large congregation (I think on a good Sunday we have maybe 20 ppl).

Nukke · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ever-heard-of-open-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:61abc5da-2c02-4010-83a2-6f2e163a69b9Post:947eea0e-afef-4705-8752-d630a58bb04c">Re: Have you ever heard of an OPEN WEDDING?!!?</a>:
[QUOTE]I have heard of it before with churches where people will come uninvited to the ceremony. I really don't see the big deal if people attend the ceremony or stop by to see you and wish you well, as long as they realize they won't be invited to the reception.
Posted by danieliza1127[/QUOTE]

This. Particularly if you're from an old-fashioned area. It was pretty common in the old days for the wedding ceremony to be "open" to the public. You don't need an invitation to enter your own church. It was common for anyone who wished to attend the ceremony, but invitations were reserved for the reception. The church is public property, and it is expected that the congregation be there to witness a marriage of one of its members. That way they can object if they feel they need to ;)

I wouldn't worry about it. If they want to crash the church--it's their church anyway. Let them do it. It sounds like they understand they aren't invited to the reception.

klasnd22 · May 2010

Since this is happening in the town you grew up in, I assume that the "tons of people" have been there for your baptism, confirmation, piano recitals/sports events, graduation, etc. They have seen you grow up in the the wonderful person you are today. Why block them from seeing this event? It would be a slap in the face if you told them flat out they couldn't come to the wedding when they have supported you throughout so much of your life. (especially if you tell them the wrong date to throw them off- your parents have to live in that small town) People come to weddings not only to see you in your dress but to show that they support you, that they care for you and your family. I've seen lots of weddings and funerals where if they ran out of room, they set up a tv and camera in the basement/fellowship hall with extra chairs. If you are worried about space, have your mother say so to people who ask if they are invited. Or have a public reception and a private wedding- I've seen that done a few times, if you are not having a sit down formal reception. That way people can still offer their congratulations and support and not take up seats. Another option is to have a second reception when you get your photos back just for the community. That way you can show off all your pictures and wear your dress again. and you don't have to go all out with this one- just a light tea. just enough to say I appreciate you and I recognize the effect this community has in shaping how I grew up.

mizri · May 2010

Ours will be an Open Wedding in the sense that we are having our wedding in a very public place. And I won't mind if people stop and watch the ceremony. That's fine. Our reception will be closed, but people will still be walking around the reception area, just not coming into our tent. I have would see no problem with an Open Wedding at a church, if you're having a church ceremony. People who have known you for a long time will love to see your wedding. That's pretty awesome. Enjoy the attention.

Have you ever heard of an OPEN WEDDING?!!?

Re: Have you ever heard of an OPEN WEDDING?!!?

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