Pre-wedding Parties

Bachelorette Date Issue

I am planning my best friend’s bachelorette party (I am not her MOH, just one of her BM).  Her wedding is in April, but because of conflicts of bridesmaids living far away we were going to the party a little early, like January of February.

I have been working on the party and all the details for about 6 weeks. 
I have met with the bride-to-be about 8 separate times to work on the list and just some ideas to make sure she was okay with certain things. 
There was never once anything said about the date or her not liking it.  We even emailed out to everyone that was invited to make sure that the date and the idea for the party would be okay and in good interest for everyone invited, and I was going to be sending out the formal invites after the New Year.

I received a slightly rude message last week that she wants to change the date to April since she ‘never wanted the party that early to begin with’. 
I found this to be a little irritating since I have already put so much time and effort into planning this. 
She spoke with 2 girls that are just invited to the party and that is what made her change her mind.

One of the other bridesmaids from out of town was not exactly thrilled either and made the decision to just keep it on the date we chose.

I am just kind of nervous of how the bride to be will react. 
It’s not exactly her place to try and control every aspect of the party, but it is in honor of her and I want her to be happy with it. 
I also wasn’t exactly thrilled about the idea of having a huge night out the night before Easter.

Just curious on anyone elses opinion on how this should be handled.  Or just in general on the situation! Thanks!

Re: Bachelorette Date Issue

  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Eight meetings to plan a bp?  That's excessive, to say the least. The bride shouldn't be planning the bp, but you should clear the date and the guest list with her. Since you have done that, she should either graciously accept the party that you have planned or politely decline it.

    There is not going to be a date that will work for everyone. I would think that a lot of people wouldn't want to go out the night before Easter, so she may get quite a few declines with that date. If it doesn't work for you, you should just tell her you won't be able to go to the bp and that you hope someone else will be able to plan it for her.

    Good luck.
                       
  • "I'm sorry, Bride, but I'm unable to attend the night before Easter. If you are set on that date, then someone else will have to have eight meetings with you to plan your party." Or something less passive aggressive.
    image
  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_bachelorette-date-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:54aee916-bd2e-4116-ae46-d734ee352a7cPost:4bcac1db-b864-445c-a61b-163bffa42202">Bachelorette Date Issue</a>:
    [QUOTE]I am planning my best friend’s bachelorette party (I am not her MOH, just one of her BM).   Her wedding is in April, but because of conflicts of bridesmaids living far away we were going to the party a little early, like January of February. I have been working on the party and all the details for about 6 weeks.   I have met with the bride-to-be about 8 separate times to work on the list and just some ideas to make sure she was okay with certain things.   There was never once anything said about the date or her not liking it.   We even emailed out to everyone that was invited to make sure that the date and the idea for the party would be okay and in good interest for everyone invited, and I was going to be sending out the formal invites after the New Year. I received a slightly rude message last week that she wants to change the date to April since she ‘never wanted the party that early to begin with’.   I found this to be a little irritating since I have already put so much time and effort into planning this.   She spoke with 2 girls that are<strong> just invited to the party</strong> and that is what made her change her mind. One of the other bridesmaids from out of town was not exactly thrilled either and made the decision to just keep it on the date we chose. I am just kind of nervous of how the bride to be will react.   It’s not exactly her place to try and control every aspect of the party, but it is in honor of her and I want her to be happy with it.   I also wasn’t exactly thrilled about the idea of having a huge night out the night before Easter. Just curious on anyone elses opinion on how this should be handled.  Or just in general on the situation! Thanks!
    Posted by mckenx[/QUOTE]
    What does this mean?



  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_bachelorette-date-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:54aee916-bd2e-4116-ae46-d734ee352a7cPost:cab7d268-961e-4116-8eca-61d45748cb9a">Re: Bachelorette Date Issue</a>:
    [QUOTE]Eight meetings to plan a bp?  That's excessive, to say the least. The bride shouldn't be planning the bp, but you should clear the date and the guest list with her. Since you have done that, she should either graciously accept the party that you have planned or politely decline it. There is not going to be a date that will work for everyone. I would think that a lot of people wouldn't want to go out the night before Easter, so she may get quite a few declines with that date. If it doesn't work for you, you should just tell her you won't be able to go to the bp and that you hope someone else will be able to plan it for her. Good luck.
    Posted by MairePoppy[/QUOTE]

    I guess i should have clarified.  By 8 meetings, i meant that we met for drinks and would chat about what she wanted.  She is not planning her bp party, she just wanted to be included in the broad aspect of it. 

    Also, regarding the 'just invited to the party'.. they are just intitees, not one of her bridesmaids that are planning the party

    thanks for the opinions and advice
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