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Is there a polite way...??

Flower0302Flower0302
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I'm helping a relative put together invitations.  The ceremony/reception venue cautioned her and her mother that any guests that run late will not be allowed into ceremony.  The guest entrance to the ceremony is at the "front" rather than "back" so those doors will have close at the start, and no guests will be able to "slip in the back."  *Yes, I understand all guests should be on time anyway, but there are typically some stragglers.*  

Is there a polite way to include a note to guests in the invitation.  Perhaps on the directions card?  If so, any suggestions to how to word this?  My relative and her mother are very concerned, so I told them I would ask on here.   
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Re: Is there a polite way...??

  • PharmacyBridePharmacyBride
    500 Comments
    I would put it on the website.  "Due to the layout of the venue, the doors must be shut during the ceremony and not late arrivals can be accommodated.  We hope to see you all there!"

    You can also purposely start the ceremony 15 minutes late!
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  • zitiqueenzitiqueen member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_there-polite-way?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4d8b07d3-dedf-47b9-b60f-6107083bb7a8Post:df944e71-5ddc-44b0-ae63-f4bbf6852a7d">Re: Is there a polite way...??</a>:
    [QUOTE] You can also purposely start the ceremony 15 minutes late!
    Posted by PharmacyBride[/QUOTE]


    I was going to suggest putting the start time on the invitation 30 minutes earlier than it actually is!
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  • louisvillebride21louisvillebride21
    5000 Comments
    Please don't start the ceremony late to accomodate the rude people that can't be on time to save their lives. Responsible, respectful people usually show up early. Why penalize them because someone couldn't get off their ass in time to get there?
    "In the old days my ass would be in your back yard picking cotton, so excuse me if I don't put much stock in how f*cking awesome the old days were." -Nuggs
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  • TurtlesAllTheWayDownTurtlesAllTheWayDown member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_there-polite-way?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4d8b07d3-dedf-47b9-b60f-6107083bb7a8Post:cb735af1-baf9-4b4f-8a97-ac11287f459c">Re: Is there a polite way...??</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Is there a polite way...?? : I was going to suggest putting the start time on the invitation 30 minutes earlier than it actually is!
    Posted by zitiqueen[/QUOTE]

    I would not suggest that, because guests, like myself, who show up 15-20 minutes early, will be really pissed off.

    Honestly, she can start 5-10 minutes late if people are still slipping in (that will be a moment-of call), but I would just close the door at some point and start the ceremony. Those who are late will just have to meet up with everyone at the reception. <- this is kind of how life works.
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  • arv266arv266
    500 Comments
    I had a similiar problem with my venue, as we are getting married on a yatch, and our ship will literally sail with, or without you!  We used the wording "Ship Sails Promptly at XXam " on the direction cards.  you might want to add "Ceremony begins Promptly at XPM."

    I will be honest.... my family (as a group) is always late, so we made the start time on the invitations 10 minutes earlier.  I have resolved myself that some people just always run late, and no amount of alerting them, or reminding them, is going to make them change for my wedding.

    Good luck!
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  • quotequeenquotequeen member
    2500 Comments
    I would be really mad if I found out that the couple purposefully put the start time 30 minutes earlier than they intended to start and made me sit there for no reason.

    I think putting it on the directions card would be ok.  "Please note that due to the layout of the venue, guests arriving after the start of the ceremony will not be able to enter."
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  • carrieoz_76carrieoz_76 member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    I agree with mery - a short delay of your start time is probably ok, but you're going to have to decide to start and just shut the doors and move forward.

    Some of my nearest and dearest are perpetually late, so I know how challenging they can be.  But at some point you have to remember that everyone else in the room made it on time and shouldn't be made to wait for too long because of the perpetually late folks.
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  • stacy&tigestacy&tige
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_there-polite-way?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4d8b07d3-dedf-47b9-b60f-6107083bb7a8Post:0da8054d-f257-4833-bd03-469a8b0006ec">Re: Is there a polite way...??</a>:
    [QUOTE] I think putting it on the directions card would be ok.  "Please note that due to the layout of the venue, guests arriving after the start of the ceremony will not be able to enter."
    Posted by quotequeen[/QUOTE]

    Ditto!
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  • heathbugheathbug member
    First Comment
    Our venue told us to put down 30 minutes prior to the start time to allow for traffice, parking, etc.  My FMIL was 30 minutes late to her nice's wedding, so it's a good idea :-)

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  • ipen44ipen44
    10 Comments
    You would be including this information as a benefit to your guests..  After all, it is not you being rude.  It is you saying--if you are late you will miss the ceremony and that would be a shame for you seeing as you got all dressed up and drove over here for it.

    It would be rude if you were saying "I hate late comers and they are not allowed in".  That is not the case here and I think that someone who runs late normally and really wants to see the ceremony will make a special point to be there before the doors shut if you let them know in advance.

    I would rather get a note in advance than to get there and be locked out of a good friends wedding : (  (i only have one friend who runs consistently late and she knows if she is late--she just misses that part and can watch the video)
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  • lauram731lauram731
    First Comment
    You could word it like "arrival time at XXX, ceremony at XXX"
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  • KnittibellKnittibell
    1000 Comments
    I'd also list the ceremony start time as 30 minutes or so before the ACTUAL start time.
    If you have programs and it's not a HOT church, you'll be fine! 
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  • jillrossjillross
    10 Comments
    Why dont' you just say "sharp" at the end of the time - people will get the idea and if they don't whatever - they got an invitation with at least 6 weeks notice of the time the wedding would begin :)
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