Dumb question about bachelor parties

squirrly · March 2010

FI's friend who is German but has lived here for about 6 or 7 years just emailed me to ask if gifts are customary at bachelor parties in the US, as he didn't want to be the odd one out with a gift/with no gift/with the wrong kind of gift at FI's party in a month or so. And. . . I think the answer is "generally, no, but cigars/alcohol/lap dances would be the norm, if anything."

So. . . before I send this back to him - am I right? Or am I missing something completely obvious? I'm putting him in touch with one of FI's brothers and one of his friends from home, but I have no idea when either of them will respond to the emails.

DISCLAIMER: I am, other than this question, in no way connected to the planning. I have no problems with him going, lap dances or no - I trust him. Yadda, yadda, yadda.

louisvillebride21 · March 2010

With FI best friends bach party, they all just pitched in for the party bus.

salt78 · March 2010

I think that sounds about right. For H's party, they took him out to dinner and a night of drinks in a party bus, but all he got to remember it by was a terrible hangover.

luckyme502 · March 2010

I think booze or cigars would be good. I don't think of BP as a gift giving event.

ring_pop · March 2010

Yup, sounds right. My H's friends basically paid his way the entire night. Their present to ME was HIS bucket of puke. Thanks guys.

squirrly · March 2010

They're going to Montreal (driving from Boston, apparently), so whatever it is has to be portable for sure. And, I think they're just cabbing once they're there, so no bus. Just hotel/food.

Cool - I figured if I sent the email and didn't ask, I'd be missing a time honored tradition of some sort.

Hope Mr. Salt's hangover was gone well before you all hopped on the plane - those sort of flights SUCK!

katiewhompus · March 2010

Dh said he didn't get any gifts.

I think a round at the bar or something would cover it.

feffany · March 2010

I was under the impression that the guys "throw" the party for him, and pay for most of it.

salt78 · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dumb-question-bachelor-parties?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:95cc6543-2eb9-453f-a84e-3c59af76cd76Post:f96ea663-415d-43d1-9663-cd79afe0addc">Re: Dumb question about bachelor parties</a>:
[QUOTE]Hope Mr. Salt's hangover was gone well before you all hopped on the plane - those sort of flights SUCK!
Posted by squirrly[/QUOTE]

<div>Yes it was, thank god. His party was like a week and a half before we left. </div>

squirrly · March 2010

feffy, I don't know what they're doing - they didn't tell or ask me, which is fine. I just know where and when. It may be a bit regional, too - most of FI's group is in greater Boston.

cukimerrydoll · March 2010

As far as I know, it's not a "gift" sort of thing, but a "groom doesn't pay for anything" soft of thing. They treat him for a night out.

jajph1974 · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dumb-question-bachelor-parties?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:95cc6543-2eb9-453f-a84e-3c59af76cd76Post:5f9027b5-6278-416f-b4a9-878359c55694">Re: Dumb question about bachelor parties</a>:
[QUOTE]As far as I know, it's not a "gift" sort of thing, but a "groom doesn't pay for anything" soft of thing. They treat him for a night out.
Posted by cukimerrydoll[/QUOTE]

Exactly this.

However, I have heard of grooms getting gag gifts (like blow-up dolls, etc)

AlexiaANDRobert · March 2010

Robert's bachelor party was a fishing weekend with my brothers, his BIL, and my Dad. All I know is that Robert didn't pay for ANYTHING.

And for my bachelorette party, it was a night at the beach and I didn't have to pay for anything. My "gifts" were little masks, buttons, beads, etc. It was perfect.

I think the PPs have the right idea. It's not a gift-giving occasion, but it's great to make sure the bachelor/bachelorette doesn't have to pay for anything.

Dumb question about bachelor parties

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