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Bridal Shower Blues...

Behindthebook08Behindthebook08 member
First Comment
in Pre-wedding Parties
My fiance and I are having a really low key wedding, with only about 70 guests.  Still, I would really like to have a bridal shower, especially for some of the older guests.  The problem is, I'm not having any bridesmaids and my mom recently passed away.  Do I have to host my own Bridal shower, or should I just cross my fingers that someone will throw one? 

Any help would be appreciated.  Definitely wish I could ask my Mom about this...

Thanks,
Chrissy
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Re: Bridal Shower Blues...

  • CassieeKCassieeK
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    It's bad form to host your own bridal shower. If nobody offers to throw you one, you don't get one....sorry.
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  • Behindthebook08Behindthebook08 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I don't care that much about one for my sake, personally I would be happy to just run off to city hall and be done with all of the hullaballoo.  I just think that a lot of my older guests would appreciate having a traditional bridal shower. 
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  • luvmyDwightluvmyDwight
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Chrissy~ First of all let me say that I'm so sorry for your loss. It must me unbearable planning your wedding without your mom.

    I see that your wedding is almost 2 yrs out stiil so I wouldn't worry about it just yet. 
    Even tho you aren't having bridesmaids I'm sure one of your friends or family members will step up to the plate. Maybe you can think of a way to give them a hint that you would like one.
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  • Behindthebook08Behindthebook08 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I am not really worrying yet, but I was just reading up on registries and realized I hadn't thought about it.  I just wasn't sure about how I should work it.  Thanks for the reply.
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    If they want a traditional bridal shower, then they'd agree that you hosting yours is out of the question. If it came down to it you could just host a brunch and have them over to socialize but NOT call it a bridal shower. You do have some time before the big day so you never know what will happen.
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  • hotbride72hotbride72
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I say go for it and do what YOU think is best. Don't listen to anyone else but yourself. Your friends and family members love you and care about you and they know that your mom passed away (truly sorry) so if you want to throw a shower yourself, no one should be saying anything to you about it. Is it unorthodox? Sure. But if they love you I'm sure the ones who have a problem with it will soon get over it. I just don't imagine people talking for years to come about how you threw yourself a bridal shower. Big deal. We brides do a lot of things now that were considered big faux pas back in the day. Start a new trend! And don't listen to people like Cassieek. You have a bridal shower if it is what YOU want.
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  • BthorBthor
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_bridal-shower-blues?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:5fd3bb37-4eb4-4bf4-a29b-419f541325eePost:899c2a5c-22d1-4c7e-acf9-8de9a6dcefad">Re: Bridal Shower Blues...</a>:
    [QUOTE]I say go for it and do what YOU think is best. Don't listen to anyone else but yourself. Your friends and family members love you and care about you and they know that your mom passed away (truly sorry) so if you want to throw a shower yourself, no one should be saying anything to you about it. Is it unorthodox? Sure. But if they love you I'm sure the ones who have a problem with it will soon get over it. I just don't imagine people talking for years to come about how you threw yourself a bridal shower. Big deal. We brides do a lot of things now that were considered big faux pas back in the day. Start a new trend! <strong>And don't listen to people like Cassieek</strong>. You have a bridal shower if it is what YOU want.
    Posted by hotbride72[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>Do listent to people like Cassieek, don't listen to people like this. 

    </div>
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  • heyimbrenheyimbren member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_bridal-shower-blues?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:5fd3bb37-4eb4-4bf4-a29b-419f541325eePost:cc6c05a4-6bdb-4f36-8954-53a77587f245">Re: Bridal Shower Blues...</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't care that much about one for my sake, personally I would be happy to just run off to city hall and be done with all of the hullaballoo. <strong> I just think that a lot of my older guests would appreciate having a traditional bridal shower.</strong> 
    Posted by Behindthebook08[/QUOTE]

    If this is the case, then they'll look into it for you. Just don't worry about it at all and Ccnsider this to be one less thing for you to think about regarding the wedding, because planning a shower is not part of planning a wedding when you're the bride. Like other PP have said, there's still plenty of time for this to come up.
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  • NHchick2003NHchick2003 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My husband and I eloped, and my sister in law and friends threw me a shower afterwards. I'm sure one of your close friends will make sure something is planned for you. If not before, then maybe afterwards :-) I've always felt that planning your own party is tacky (even birthday parties) So, step back and relax...planning your wedding is enough.
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  • Behindthebook08Behindthebook08 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I didn't say it would be an honor for them to come.  Some guests just enjoy the tradition behind it.  My grandmother is going to be turning ninety soon and she loves things like showers.  It isn't a case of digging for gifts, it is respecting an older generation.

    If you disagree with the sentiment, I think you should consider replying to other posts, rather than being snide on this one. 
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  • BthorBthor
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_bridal-shower-blues?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:5fd3bb37-4eb4-4bf4-a29b-419f541325eePost:ec06c547-e0df-45a6-b5b4-c898065a2dc4">Re: Bridal Shower Blues...</a>:
    [QUOTE]I didn't say it would be an honor for them to come.  Some guests just enjoy the tradition behind it.  My grandmother is going to be turning ninety soon and she loves things like showers.  It isn't a case of digging for gifts, it is respecting an older generation. <strong>If you disagree with the sentiment, I think you should consider replying to other posts, rather than being snide on this one. </strong>
    Posted by Behindthebook08[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>If only people that agreed with you responded then you really wouldn't get the correct answers sometimes. You are posting to the world to read so of course you are going to get answers that agree and disagree, that is probably why you feel the need to ask them in the first place, because you are unsure. </div>
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  • akinal311akinal311
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I am truly sorry for your loss - I can't imagine planning my wedding without my mom. On behalf of some of the rude people on here, I apologize. It is considered disrespectful if you throw your own bridal shower, HOWEVER, your case is clearly different than most. You do have quite a while before a shower would be thrown, so maybe a friend or family member (sister, aunt, etc) will throw one for you. If you're not getting any info on one, I'd maybe try to hint that you'd like one (i.e talk about hearing of a wonderful fun shower and how you wish you could have one, etc.) If no one steps up, maybe just ask for all of the ladies your inviting to a nice brunch or dinner out somewhere. Again, so sorry for your loss and the rude people on here. 

    There are ways to speak your opinion without being rude and nasty. 
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  • Behindthebook08Behindthebook08 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I appreciate all types of advice.  I do not appreciate it being implied that I am digging for gifts.  I am just trying to figure out how to have a "normal" wedding.

    Thank you to all of the woman who have been supportive of my situation.  I will definitely consider all of your suggestions.  I don't plan to throw my own shower, I'm just trying to figure things out :-)

    Thanks again!
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  • CarolinaMissCarolinaMiss
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I lost my mom less than a week after I got engaged, so bless your heart.  It is so difficult to plan a wedding without your mother.  I totally understand exactly where you are coming from.  I'd say given the fact that your wedding is still a while away, I'd give it some time.  I ended up having a total of SEVEN (?!?) showers thrown by everyone from friends to family to my mom's friends... in addition, people were jumping at the chance to help with everything from the rehearsal dinner to paying for a place for all of the girls to get ready before the wedding to the day after wedding brunch.  My best friend's mom even threw a beautiful bridal luncheon.  I'd just give it time.  You'll find your way and develop a good source of information and support to help you navigate this exciting, emotional time in your life.  Good luck! 

    (BTW I'm on the second time board too... divorce is also hard without your mom)
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