Wedding with no dinner?

shine882007 · October 2012

Please do not have a 6 pm wedding with no dinner. Especially if you have people driving.

A wedding we attended two years ago required a 4 hour drive, at a 6 pm wedding. No dinner was served, so we paid for dinner on the way there, and ate again on the way back.

I'm still pissed I drove all that way to see them get married and didn't get to eat - except for the two times I paid for my own food.

SKPM · October 2012

What the hell is "midnight lunch"? That makes about as much sense as an 8pm brunch. PPs covered the rest about meal times and serving meals. It's generally considered rude to invite 30 to 99 percent of your guest list to one hosted meal or activity and then have the remainder join you for the cheaper celebration. It will come across to some guests, whether you intend it or not, as a gift grab.

amandayb28 · October 2012

Wow people were right....it gets aggressive in here. Where we are from we often have people invited to the ceramony and not the dinner. They then come back to the dance. I didn't realize I was supposed to take offence to this when it has happened to me. And to note 68 people are our parents, siblings their spouces their children and our very small wedding party (matron of honour, best man and their spouces and children). Even if we were having a meal their woul be people who were invited only to the ceramony and dance.

JoanE2012 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_wedding-with-no-dinner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:ff464035-3148-4db1-8fba-cf724c54a644Post:d481ca40-30c7-46ab-bcd0-6458d71248c1">Re: Wedding with no dinner?</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow people were right....it gets aggressive in here. Where we are from we often have people invited to the ceramony and not the dinner. They then come back to the dance. I didn't realize I was supposed to take offence to this when it has happened to me. And to note 68 people are our parents, siblings their spouces their children and our very small wedding party (matron of honour, best man and their spouces and children). Even if we were having a meal their woul be people who were invited only to the ceramony and dance.
Posted by amandayb28[/QUOTE]

So you want people to watch you get married, but then leave and go find something to eat on their own because you're too cheap to feed them.....but then you expect them to come back to dance?

That's incredibly rude, no matter what part of the country you are from or what other people have done. And you must know it too since your original post asked "do you think my guests will be offended by no dinner?"

Jen4948 · October 2012

I agree with kmmssg. You should never offered tiered hospitality, and that's exactly what you're doing by trying to offer some guests dinner and not others. If you don't want to serve dinner to everyone, then you should not serve it to anyone. Everyone needs to receive the same level of hospitality, even if that means the family doesn't get to have dinner. Please, drop the idea-and don't go for a potluck either.

TheVirginians · October 2012

Amanda, where are you from that people are invited to separate parts of the event?

DramaGeek · October 2012

I don't understand. If it is normal in your circle to invite everyone to the ceremony, then only some people to the whole reception and others to only the end of the reception (because dinner and dance are both the reception), then why would you post to ask us if your guests would be offended? It seems you know this is inappropriate and just didn't get the answer you were hoping for. You really need to invite everyone to everything. Anything less is rude. ETA - you said "even if we were serving a meal..." - you ARE planning to serve a meal. You're planning serve it to 38% of your guests. That is no longer a private dinner. A private dinner would be 0-15% of your guest list.

amandayb28 · October 2012

Wow thanks everyone for your some what harsh opinions. I appreciate your bold honesty. I think we have made our final decisions, some of you have opened my eyes to the harsh opinions can you receive posting on this site. Thanks for not helping me with the wording of my invites...as was my main concern in posting. I believe we will have an amazing day, I know my family and friends will focus on our marriage and not what we serve or don't serve. Good luck to all you other brides!

courtski2004 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_wedding-with-no-dinner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:ff464035-3148-4db1-8fba-cf724c54a644Post:6713bc7e-1850-43a9-9f4b-ba8e70af76c8">Wedding with no dinner?</a>:
[QUOTE]Due to some very tight budget constraints and a very large extended family (160) and a large immediate family (75) we have decided that we can't not invite people but we can't afford to feed everyone. We are planning on having a private dinner for our immediate family and then getting married at 6pm. My questions are: Do you think our guests will be offended by no dinner but only the late "midnight" snack/lunch? How would you word your invitations for the guests invited to the church and reception? Any help would be greatly appreciated as I am worried we will offend our extended family and friends. Thank you!
Posted by amandayb28[/QUOTE]

See, the thing is, the answers provided to the FIRST question you posted have answered the second question in connection with your concern for offending your guests. Since overall you would be offending your guests by offering no dinner at the normal mealtime, there is really no way to word your invitations WITHOUT offending your extended family and friends. See what I did there?

I'm still wondering why food being served at 9PM is being referred to as lunch.

JoanE2012 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_wedding-with-no-dinner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:ff464035-3148-4db1-8fba-cf724c54a644Post:cc8f84e3-be45-4175-a361-ba75db92ca00">Re: Wedding with no dinner?</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow thanks everyone for your some what harsh opinions. I appreciate your bold honesty. I think we have made our final decisions, some of you have opened my eyes to the harsh opinions can you receive posting on this site. Thanks for not helping me with the wording of my invites...as was my main concern in posting. I believe we will have an amazing day, I know my family and friends will focus on our marriage and not what we serve or don't serve. Good luck to all you other brides!
Posted by amandayb28[/QUOTE]

Nobody is being harsh. I think you simply forgot what your first question was. Here it is: Do you think our guests will be offended by no dinner but only the late "midnight" snack/lunch?

Everyone is responding with honest opinions. Just because it's not the answer you want to hear doesn't mean it's harsh.

Also, I'm sure your family and friends will enjoy your ceremony, but let's be honest here...most people look forward to the reception and the eating/drinking/dancing/overall fun time just a tad more than sitting through a cermony.

Wedding with no dinner?

Re: Wedding with no dinner?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards