Do not want a card box - Thoughts?

saric83 · January 2013

Before you decide what to do, maybe it would be best to post this on your local Dallas board on here and ask any friends or family who also live in Dallas what they've typically seen for weddings hosted there.

I've never been to a wedding without a gift table and card box, so I honestly wouldn't know who would be the appropriate person to give it to, especially if I didn't know the bride or groom's parents.

beardownbchs · January 2013

My brother didn't have a card box or gift table and there was a very awkward and odd-looking pile of gifts in the hallway outside the bathroom.

Apparently people in my area/circle don't know about the rule about not bringing gifts to a wedding. Some people brought very large gifts. My cousin gave my brother the desk that my grandma sat in in elementary school (not sure how she knew that this was the desk, but cool nonetheless) and a friend gave him a huge autographed picture of the Hawks.

People gave my mom, the bride's mom and other wedding party members and I cards and it was difficult to keep them all together. My mom and half the bridal party were still in their hotel rooms the morning after the wedding and bride's mom was flipping out because she only had a handful of cards. Bride is still convinced that some cards are missing. I find this much more annoying than a simple card box.

EDIT: I usually bring a card with no check or money or anything in it to weddings where I send a gift to the house. I'm a last-minute-er and in case the gift hadn't gotten to their house yet, I want to make sure they know I gave them something. That and I love cards. So people like me would add quite a bit to the stack for your dad's pocket.

hoffse · January 2013

OP, the standard in Texas are boxed gifts. You may get more or less depending on your circle, but southerners generally like seeing a big gift table. It makes us feel like we are sending the bride and groom off in style.

Frankly, I think this is foolish. I get what you're saying, but what you are talking about is so insecure. I know at least 3 people who had cards and even boxed gifts stolen because they either didn't have a designated spot for the gifts (FBIL), they used a birdcage with huge slats that made it easy to pull cards out (good friend), or they didn't secure them after the guests were there (another friend - who actually lost about 1/4 of all her gifts, both cards and boxes).

Even with 50 guests, this could end badly. I think you need to rethink and maybe be a little more practical about this.

gerixoxo · January 2013

Wow! Card boxes sure get people fired up! Haha. Well just to throw in another opinion, in all the weddings that I have been to or been in there was ALWAYS a gift table and card box. My sister's wedding had about 75 guests and the gifts were stacked higher than my head. And not one gift was sent in advance. I don't know where else we would have put them. My wedding is going to have over 200 guests and we will be having a gift table and a card box. The card box is mostly for security so we don't lose any. I know people feel very strongly about this either way. I suggest doing what most people do in your circle. In our circle it is rude to NOT have a gift when you show up to a wedding. Not the other way around. Just go with whatever your close friends and family are used to. Nobody else matters.

ridedatbike · January 2013

In Response to Re:Do not want a card box Thoughts?:[QUOTE]50 cards, or an amount near that, could be an inconvenience to your dad. Besides potentially weighing him down, are his pockets even big enough for a stack that big? You can find out by going to a card store and giving it a try.
It would just suck if he was on the dance floor and the cards spill out everywhere.

I get not wanting to have a card box, but not at the risk of putting the burden on your dad. It's just not fair to him. Please consider an alternative plan. I mean, if you don't think it'll be a big deal for your dad, why not have your fianc hang on to them in his pockets? Posted by Simply Fated[/QUOTE]

Lol you read my mind. I couldn't imagoes a single person carrying 50 cards comfortably.

s-aries8990 · January 2013

I havent' read all of the posts so forgive me:

This summer I WAS that confused guest with a card. I always bring a card to the wedding and there is usually a guestbook/gift combo table at most that I have been to. This summer, there was a cariciture guestbook (it was cute and ugly at the same time) and NO gift table. The only other tables were the cake table and the buffet tables - it was a cocktail reception so there wasn't even a sweetheart table or the parents table. we shoved our card along with a few others cards that were on the 3-foot in diameter guestbook table- any boxed or bagged gifts were on the floor under the table, which was right by the door. I was afraid that people would walk off with stuff because it was a public space.
I JUST received a thank-you note (5months late, but whatever) and until now I didn't know if the cash we gave had gotten stolen! Put a little basket about the size of a shoe box or even smaller out on your guestbook table. It won't be one of those cute and popular mega-cardboxes (I mean, how MANY cards are you expecting?!?! LOL) but it will be discreet and useful.

Amanda1443994 · January 2013

I had never been to a wedding that didn't have a card box except for one time. I don't know if it was a regional thing because this wedding was located across the country from where I live but I showed up with card in hand, and was thoroughly confused on where to put it. They did have a gift table so I ended up putting it there but seeing as how I put in a couple hundred dollars in the envelope, I worried for weeks wondering if it got lost in the boxes, accidentally dropped, taken by staff, etc. And I really don't think there is a discreet way to pass a card to a member of the bridal party IMO.

Jen4948 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_do-not-want-a-card-box-thoughts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ffe3898c-317f-4007-9456-af81749e1c11Post:9d7bad1b-6762-4f29-a56f-51b45ff38fec">Re: Do not want a card box - Thoughts?</a>:
[QUOTE]I completely disagree with Benny repeatedly saying "in my area" they don't have gift tables. I am from NJ/NY and there is always a card box/gift table at the weddings I go to.
Posted by ljsquintz[/QUOTE]

I was at a wedding in White Plains a few years ago where I took a gift, and there was no gift table or card box. I tried to find someplace to put my gift or someone to give it to, so I asked bridesmaids and the groom's mother (they were cousins of mine), and ultimately they told me to put it in a room where they'd left some things.

A few days after the wedding, the groom's mother called me to tell me that they'd lost the gift. (Yes, you read that right, it was the groom's mother. I never should have heard from her at all on this.) I never got thanked for it or anything.

So I will never again take a present to a wedding.

Do not want a card box - Thoughts?

Re: Do not want a card box - Thoughts?

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