Bach party

JillianNJohn · January 2013

MOH brought up my Bach party yesterday. She's playing with the idea of going wine tasting and staying down at the place over night. It's 3 hrs away. I truly love the idea, but how do we go around getting a feel if others are interested? Is it ok for me to be asking ppl being that she doesn't know all of them personally? she's going to price it so we have a number to tell ppl.

As much as I love the idea, going off my invite list, not many would be able or want to do that because of the cost either. I mentioned to MOH about this and how several of the girls have since told me they are pregnant so I know they'd be OUT.. She said we can invite some of our other friends that aren't invited to the wedding (everyone knows its a small-ish wedding). However I know we aren't supposed to do this.

I think I know the answer, but would it be wrong to suggest a bridal shower instead of a Bach party????

And what's the time frame before the wedding for a Bach party or bridal shower?? We are both already coordinating our schedules on when this can be done (her request).

Pookieson · January 2013

I would not suggest a bridal shower. Mention to your MOH that you would prefer something local and low cost with other alternatives to drinking to accomodate your other guests if they are important to you. If they are not and you don't care if they come, then I guess you could do it, but I wouldn't want to leave anyone out if I were you.

DEFINITELY do not invite people who are not invited to your wedding, make sure your MOH doesn't do this either.

On the time frame, you got me there, but I'd say no more than a few months out at the very earliest.

JillianNJohn · January 2013

Thanks for the input. The girls who are pregnant are important to me. So important that when they announced they were preg (due within a few weeks of each other) I asked their fav beverages to make sure that they are at the reception for them. We covered our bases on alcohol variety and left the non alcohol drinks to the venue to decide. I called th venue coordinator about the Preggy girls and she said they will have a variety of juices including what the girls like for them as well as the few children in the wedding party. 1 of the girls said shed bring her own and ask them to put it on Ice as to not be a burden, I assured her it'll be taken care of bc she matters to me!

mpickl · January 2013

I have a similar issue -- I really want to go out of town, but a lot of the ladies that I would want to go wouldn't be able to travel (money, kids, preggo, etc). I think we are going to keep the bach party local, but in addition plan a pre-wedding weekend getaway with just the two girls in my bridal party and just call it something different.

lls31 · January 2013

If your MOH is planning the bachelorette party, she would need to reach out to your other BMs and friends to see what everyone can do travel-wise and budget-wise.

In my circle of friends and family, the bride is never involved in bachelorette planning at all. The person hosting it might ask for a few ideas, but that's it. The bride provides a list of guests and contact info and the person hosting it usually sends out a bulk e-mail to everyone or some sort of e-vite.

Being that you know some of your friends are pregnant, I do think it would be fine to mention to your MOH that some non-alcoholic events (like dinner) would be nice as well - just so everyone can be included.

You should not invite anyone that is not invited to the wedding.

You should not suggest a shower instead of a bachelorette.

I really don't think there is a certain time frame you need to do this in. Whatever works best for everyone.

JillianNJohn · January 2013

Thanks everyone for the input. As far as the bridal party its her and her daughter (a minor) who won't be at these things of coarse. I'm going to talk to her this weekend.

Bach party

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