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Wedding View Changes

NJhousewife22NJhousewife22 member
500 Comments
in New Jersey
FI and I went to a wedding last weekend and I realized that now that I've been planning a wedding, my views as a GUEST have changed. 

I now give WAY more money (circumstances permitting) than I did before now that I know the cost per head. 

I also pay attention to centerpieces and the "little details" more. 

Anyone else been feeling a wedding guest view shift?

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Re: Wedding View Changes

  • JessicaLB2JessicaLB2
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I definately feel guilty about a couple gifts I'v egiven that were on the cheap side.  And about being pissed at one of my friends for not giving me a +1.  (Although in my defense on the +1, the couple did not seem to have any "rule" for who got a +1 (like in a long term relationship vs not) leaving those of us who didn't get one to wonder why some guests were considered more special.)
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  • 37 Butter Knives37 Butter Knives member
    Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.weddings.com/Sites/Weddings/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_wedding-changes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:96c22e46-0bad-433c-8ebd-4bf705f6bb36Post:30d2c3e0-94f4-41ff-9d24-f72b4ed5d991">Re: Wedding View Changes</a>:
    [QUOTE]I definately feel guilty ... about being pissed at one of my friends for not giving me a +1.  (Although in my defense on the +1, the couple did not seem to have any "rule" for who got a +1 (like in a long term relationship vs not) leaving those of us who didn't get one to wonder why some guests were considered more special.)
    Posted by JessicaLB2[/QUOTE]

    I always thought the +1 rules handed down by the etiquette gods were ridiculous and inconsiderate. I did before I started planning my wedding, and I still do now - even more so, actually.

    So, under those rules, a couple of less than one year who moved in together after knowing each other for only two weeks is considered a more legitimate and serious relationship than a LDR or a couple who have been together for seven years but don't live together because their jobs are far apart. Bull$hit.

    I went to one wedding as an engaged woman, and I started picking it apart like I was on "Four Weddings." If I wasn't snarking on the bride's decisions (few of which I have made for myself), I probably would have enjoyed myself more.
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  • uppereastgirluppereastgirl member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I have always been particular and focused on how things look, so centerpieces, invitations, venues and such always stuck out to me.  I notice dresses (bride and bridesmaids) more -- I was pretty blind to them before planning a wedding and still don't pay much attention to them, but I could at least tell you a little bit about a bride's dress now :)  

    I became more aware of the etiquette involved and inconveniences related to weddings though.  That's what I'm now more picky about, because I know what the bride and groom had a choice about.  I know when they're being annoying or cheap, versus when they did something because they sort of had to.

    And I am much, much, much pickier about people's wedding photos, having seen so many by good, bad, and meh photographers.

    I think I'm also less impressed by things that I would have thought were creative if I didn't know that they were super common.  We had a candy buffet at our wedding.  I love candy so I thought it would be fun, but I knew that it wasn't creative at all and thought it might be overdone.  So many people at our wedding commented on how creative it was -- nope!  I forget that not everyone knows what the big wedding trends are.

    My gift-giving tendencies haven't changed because I've never felt that how much or how little a couple spends on their wedding should have anything to do with what I give as a gift.  I'm giving a gift, not paying an admission fee.
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  • cindy9178cindy9178 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Yes, I totally find myself paying more attention to the little details and noticing things I never noticed when I wasn't planning a wedding myself... especially the music, food, dress and photos.
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  • JoBell123JoBell123
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Wedding View Changes:
    [QUOTEMy gift-giving tendencies haven't changed because I've never felt that how much or how little a couple spends on their wedding should have anything to do with what I give as a gift.  I'm giving a gift, not paying an admission fee.
    Posted by uppereastgirl[/QUOTE]

    THANK YOU for saying this.  I hate when people say that they give more depending on the venue.  Sorry, but whether a friend gets married in her parents' backyard or in the nicest hotel in town, I'm giving her the same amount!
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  • altimat873altimat873 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I have, its crazy - things like inmvitations I never gave a second thought to. .  .but now I notice them. I used to think I would cut costs on invites until I started compariing to other invites Ive gotten, whether I thought they were nice or cheap looking etc. so it def influenced my decision on my choice and prior to this, I probably never gave an invitation a second look LOL
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