S/O Money Issues

mwhitson14 · December 2009

Nebb, gg, that is a good point about the debt, and something we do need to decide upon, whether it will be ours or his and hers, basically hers, haha. I was the stupid one with credit cards, and then of course my student loans.

lilgina64 · December 2009

see whit thats why i felt bad making it "our debt" because it's all mine. he has NO debt at all, lucky bugger. So I figure since I'm making more, it's makes more sense for me to pay my debt on my own. If he made enough to cover bills he might do that for a year so I could get rid of it all in one go, but that's a ways away still... sigh

thesuninherhead · December 2009

I work four days a week and now with my raise make about as much as H, but previously was working only 3 days a week, and clearly didn't. Our bills are just 'our' bills though. Most of our money from our pay goes into the joint account- we have individual spending accounts where our 'play money' goes. The money that goes into our 'play' fund is equal regardless of how much we're earning (which at the time I felt bad about, but H insisted it wasn't fair to me that he had more given that it is ultimately 'our' money). We buy all of our bigger purchases from our joint funds. The bills that come in come from our joint funds.

amalama · December 2009

BF is also paying for my school right now, so I won't actually have any debt. I couldn't get financial aid at first (this year would be the first year that I can). But when we talked about waiting for me to go back to school so I could get loans or save and pay for it myself, he made the point that me finishing school sooner (and hence making more money) would benefit both of us in the long run, not just me, so he is happy to pay the money now so that I will be able to make more later. I think we would feel the same way about student loans.

salt78 · December 2009

We split household bills fairly evenly. (We make the same amount of money, so it's totally fair all around.) When we get married we are going to keep our separate bank accounts, but then open a joint checking account as well for bills.

Then I have my own car payment and school loans and I don't expect anyone to help me pay for those.

mwhitson14 · December 2009

Well, after hearing all these great ideas, we'll sit down and have another chat about it.

Maybe what we will do is, I'll pay my loans and CC debt from my own account, and move the rest to a joint, and he'll move what he wants to the joint too. That way, I'm still paying my debts, he can feel like he's contributing (and I just won't tell him how little he is contributing, lol!) and we'll save as we can.

tenofcups4me · December 2009

I make quite a bit more than DH. We just put whatever we can into our joint account and bills get paid out of that. We don't have any actual "system" in place -- since we both work for ourselves, our income isn't regular so we both just contribute what we can. We each also maintain our own accounts, but they're not used for much of anything anymore, just paying bills that were set up to come from those accounts (and I transfer money from the joint into my personal account to cover those bills).

mwhitson14 · December 2009

ten, FI's income isn't regular either. He works part time for the post office, so it's Saturdays consistently, but then he works whenever someone needs off. So it's so random.

lyndausvi · December 2009

This is our system.

He makes twice what I do. But I bought the condo before meeting him with my lower salary. So our living expenses are much lower than our joint salaries can afford.

DH only wants a 'Vinny fun fund' (trying saying that 3 times fast) to spend however he wants on golf, gambling, going to the bar, etc.

So we figured out an amount he is allowed to spend on fun from each paycheck. That amount gets deposited into his account. Everytihng gets put into my account. I pay all the bills and saving from my account. Food/entertainment comes from both us. No real system.

Major purchases (over $600) are normally discussed and paid for from my account (cause that is where our money is located). The exception to the major purchases is gifts to each other. We have never put limits on gift amounts.

lauralaur · December 2009

H makes more than I do, but he has student loans and I do not. As it stands right now, we have separate checking and savings accounts. We have an agreement that H pays all of the bills except for my car insurance and half the rent, which I pay. We both pay for groceries. Under this arrangement, he does not save much if any at all. I am able to save at least half of my salary each month. Before we got married, I was saving to pay for the wedding. So while I wasn't paying monthly bills, I was writing pretty big checks towards something that was for the both of us. I also paid for the honeymoon. Now my savings is the house fund, student loans sinking fund, vacation fund, dining out fund, etc. I just paid off H's credit card debt the other day and now I'm working towards paying off a personal loan of his. I'll tackle some student debt next as well as starting to pay off his car. I don't mind paying down his debt because it moves the both of us together closer to our financial goals.

This does not always work for us, however. H has had a bit of an issue opening up to me financially. He's still having trouble thinking of us as a team and he won't always tell me if he has a timing issue between a paycheck and bills (he gets embarrassed) or if he has a credit card bill that he can't pay (which is how he got back into credit card debt). I've been very open with him about my finances for quite some time now. He knows exactly how much I have in savings, how much my credit card bill is each month, etc. We agreed the other day when I paid down his credit card that he would start showing me his credit card statement every month and fill me in on bank account balances. If he incurs debt one more time I'm completely taking over our finances.

mwhitson14 · December 2009

laura, FI is the same way about being quiet about his bills, savings, etc. I've finally gotten him to the point where he tells me what his checks are and what he has in savings, debt, whatever. He still isn't very upfront about his spending habits, but that's another battle.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · December 2009

Whit - that sounds like a great idea. I also feel bad asking FI to pay for my CC or car, because I made those financial decisions before we met. Oops!

Lynda - does your H have a debit card for your account, or do you just move money to him if he wants to purchase something big?

lyndausvi · December 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_money-issues?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:de1c1f02-6795-412b-b939-6d583e0562e5Post:3e6fe198-441f-435a-b858-7b68340b22ce">Re: S/O Money Issues</a>:
[QUOTE]Lynda - does your H have a debit card for your account, or do you just move money to him if he wants to purchase something big?
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

If I'm not there (rare), then he puts it on the cc and I just pay it when the bill comes in. More often than not I'm the one buying the item anyway.

If it's a gift for me or something big for himself.. He pays for it from his fun fund. Since I write that money off, I do not care if he saves enough to buy a big item.

Loopyseven · December 2009

We put both our paychecks into a joint account. I pay all the bills from that and keep FI in the loop as to where we stand. We each get "fun money" of an equal amount (he makes about 8% more than I do). Right now we're contributing heavily to the wedding fund. After the wedding, it will become our new house/large purchases/savings fund. We will give ourselves a little extra "fun money" over what we're getting now once the wedding is done too.

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