I went dress shopping yesterday for my September 2012 wedding. There was one dress I saw in a magazine I LOVED but when I tried it on it was not flattering. We had to start from scratch. I tried on about 10 dresses and one was very pretty and looked great. Everyone gushed and my mom cried. I didn't really feel anything. Am I supposed to "know it's the one?". Should I be crying or something? I feel silly in such a fancy dress plus I never wear white. I am also pretty self conscious and never think I look great in anything, so why would this be any different? Did anyone else choose a dress they really liked instead of searching high and low for something they might love?
Re: How do you know it's the right dress?
Nov '12 September Siggy - Bridesmaids!
I tried on about 15 dresses and liked a few some more than others. The one I chose I liked a lot. It was not that it made me cry or anything, it was just so different from any of the other gowns I had tried on and it was so not me. I decided then and there that it was the dress for me because on my wedding day I want to step out of my comfort zone. The other gowns that I liked and looked great on me were the ones everyone would expect me to wear. I like to hide myself but you can't hide in the dress that I choose and hey if I am going to be the star of the day I might as well do it right.
If I were you I would try on all sorts of styles and do not limit yourself. Then go with the dress that YOU FEEL the best in. The way you feel will reflect in your face and make you more beautiful than what a dress could. I hope that makes sense and good luck. You will find one and you may have to sleep on it to know it is the one for you.
Honestly, I still think about the other one and worry that this one might be "too much" (it's a little fancier then the 1 I didn't choose), but I'm sure it will be fine (and I'm sure if I had chosen the other one, I'd be thinking about this one.
But long story short - I didn't know for sure it was "the one", it was just one that looked good on me and fit my budget.
I had looked at one designer's whole collection online (turned on to the designer by the Knot, thank you a million times over!) and saw one style that I felt just had my name on it.
Went to the showroom for the designer here in NYC and the associate said, "Oh, honey I'm having you try on at least 5-6 dresses, not just YOUR dress." Fine, I said.
Second dress I tried on was the one I fell in love with...and then quickly fell out of love with. The shoulders weren't right, it did nothing for my bust...just a disaster.
The last dress...one I never would have chosen to try on (I'm about a size 14 and had "NO STRAPLESS" in my head like a mantra)...I walked out of the dressing room and my two friends and I all started getting choked up. I got "that" feeling though my head was puzzled as all get out by the "what about the no-strapless????".
The associate slipped a matching bolero on me (my self-consciousness zone is my upper arms aka bat-wings - lost 160 pounds and they never quite fully recovered) and that was it. Sold.
After all of that, I realized that the dress I'd chosen was exactly what I'd imagined as a little girl for my wedding dress, long before the reality of sizes, shapes, fashion trends got in the way.
So like I said...when your head shuts up and your heart speaks up...there need not necessarily be tears involved, but it will let you know.
Lizzy
4/20/12
Similar to you I had the perfect dress in mind and when I went to try it on the style looked horrible on my body type so I had to start all over. I went to 9 shops and tried on at least 60 dresses (which REALLY is a lot). It was not fun in any shape way or form. The dress I decided on I still do not think is perfect, I did not cry, I did not have the wow moment or anything. I took my Godmother and she noticed how I kept going back to the dress...I couldn't argue with anything on the dress that I didn't like and that's how I "knew".
And in all honesty I got SUPER scared afterwards, literally I lost sleep over it. Finally I admitted I chose the wrong dress and was so stressed about it but a friend told me to take a deep breath and wait til it came in. Well, when it came in, I tried it on and I feel in love with it!
So I suggest taking somebody that knows YOU well and can read your reactions. Not somebody who has great fashion sense, not your BFF, but somebody who has YOUR best interests and can read you well! GL
Fall Wedding Bio
[QUOTE]I agree with the other girls. <strong>I actually don't believe there is "one" dress for me. I liked the way I looked in a bunch of them. I can think of 4 or 5 that I still think about. </strong>
This was me all over! Actually my profile/avatar picture is NOT me in my wedding dress (not my siggy but my profile pic) that was a dress that I loved the most but it had pick ups which I hated...it would have been perfect with out those gosh dang pick ups (the dress was $1500 and I was not going to spend a bunch of money in alterations just to have them take out pick ups). But in any case, I still don't think the perfect dress is out there for me either.
Fall Wedding Bio
My best suggestion would be go with something simple/timeless that you feel comfortable wearing, that is within your price range. Don't forget there are some things like adding shoulder straps or raising the neckline that alterations may be able to take care of if that would help you feel more comfortable in your dress. If nothing stood out, you've got time and you can look at a few more stores. Get pictures if you can when you try on dresses so you can sleep on it and see if something stands out when you look back.
If all else fails and you have a few dresses that you like but you don't have a strong preference, go with the least expensive one so you will have more money for other things!
At DB the consultant had me pick out dresses, and I picked out a lot of fit and flares. I tried on several but none of them looked that great. The consultant picked up that I wanted trumpet (I've lost almost 40 pounds over the past few years, I want to show off my figure!) and started bringing some in. They were still meh. She asked me if I wanted to try on a lace gown. I hesitated, because I've never thought I'd wear lace, but I figured I should be open-minded.
My mom's reaction when I came out was, "Well, that's actually not that bad'. When the consultant said it was $99, my mom, FMIL and sister were on the floor inspecting the dress to see if there was anything wrong with it.
When we went out to the "natural lighting" area my mom started tearing up. I just didn't want to take it off. I do still think about the other dress I loved, but this one is so much lighter and was $700 cheaper.
Just try to picture yourself wearing it on your wedding day. Could you see yourself walking down the aisle in it? Dancing in it? Is it comfortable? Does it make you feel beautiful? Looking at wedding pics years later, will you be happy with your dress choice? Ask yourself this: if somebody came in and bought this dress, and I wasn't able to get it anymore, would I be disappointed?
My dress was nothing close to what I wanted in a dress. I didn't like how it looked in pictures, it was so-so on the hanger, but I tried it anyway; it fit perfectly, was super flattering, and was 50% off. SOLD! So be sure to keep an open mind and try everything. To know its the one, it doesn't take tears, a big revelation, or the dress having EVERY feature you thought you wanted or needed. It just has to make you happy. When you can't stop smiling, can't stop looking in the mirror, or can't stop thinking about it days later (I had a few dreams about my dress before I decided to purchase), then that's a sign it may be a keeper.
Reminder: when you find the dress, STOP LOOKING/SHOPPING! Especially if you're a person who changes her mind frequently (I do). It'll just drive you nuts.
So in the end I have about 3 dresses that are my top picks and I know I would be comfortable and happy in any one of them. It will then come down to details like whether or not it has a train or whether the drop waist style makes me look shorter.