List of Duties

Calumet · March 2010

I want to divide up day of the wedding duties for my maids... and for the groomsmen too I suppose. Anyone have a really good list of things to have people thinking of / in charge of doing?

Here's mine so far:

Tipping various vendors

Bustling my dress for the reception

Keeping an ear out for the DJ getting too loud

Keeping an eye on the card box

Taking care of my dress after the reception

Watching out for crazy Aunt Linda talking my ear off for too long

Keeping receiving line moving

Making sure grandparents get corsages as they arrive

Any ideas on other stuff?

caseylynne21 · March 2010

this may just be me...but i really feel that it shouldnt be your maids job to tip out the vendors, i know that you mean being responsible for making sure they recieve it, but money can be a tricky subject for most people. otherwise i think that it works well.

jagore08 · March 2010

1. Have DH give the tips to the vendors and personally thank them when he does.

2. Usually one of the BM bustles the dress so this shouldn't be an issue. Just make sure that they practice it once before the big day or it could be difficult when you're in a time crunch.

3. You or your parents can listen out for the DJ. You're going to be listening to him anyway.

4. If you're worried about someone digging their hands into your card box, move it to a visible spot and away from any exits.

5. Ask you parents or in-laws to take care of your dress. It's not really your BM responsibility.

6. If your Aunt Linda starts talking your ear off, have your husband come rescue you. Tell him welcome to the family. If you are both stuck, just politely excuse yourself and say that you need to talk to so and so before they leave.

7. You can keep the receiving line moving yourself. You and your husband are the only two anyone's going to care to talk to. If they want to get into a lengthy conversation, tell them you'll love to hear more at the reception and then refer back to #6.

8. Why don't you ask for the grandparents to come and see you before the ceremony so you can say hello, snap a couple of candid shots of you all together and give them the flowers there yourself.

hh581842 · March 2010

I just read in Brides (or one of those magazines lol.) that most of the tip giving is the Best Man's duties. I can find the issue of the mag for you if you want it, it had a whole tipping guide in it. Not his money of course, just being responsible for your money and making sure it gets to the right places. I'm no expert, but that's what they said. I don't see why your BM or the Best Man would feel weird about that, i don't think it's a "tricky subject" in this instance.

I think you pretty much covered it. Maybe have one of them be in charge of your emergency kit??

swim1011 · March 2010

The only one of those things I've ever had to worry about as a BM is helping bustle the dress. That's it. Don't give your brides duties, they're not your servants. And trust me, if the DJ gets too loud, you will know it, and so will everyone else. why on earth would your BMs take care of your dress after the reception? It's going to end up in a pile on the hotel room floor.

AdeleDazeem · March 2010

No! Go check out the Wedding Party board responses. They are SPOT ON.

bablingbrooke · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_list-of-duties?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:e032132a-0ee6-43c6-8ef5-dd97c8c70490Post:7319321f-a5a5-44aa-8120-7ef2a21ab72b">Re: List of Duties</a>:
[QUOTE]I just read in Brides (or one of those magazines lol.) that most of the tip giving is the Best Man's duties. I can find the issue of the mag for you if you want it, it had a whole tipping guide in it. Not his money of course, just being responsible for your money and making sure it gets to the right places. I'm no expert, but that's what they said. I don't see why your BM or the Best Man would feel weird about that, i don't think it's a "tricky subject" in this instance. I think you pretty much covered it. Maybe have one of them be in charge of your emergency kit??
Posted by hh581842[/QUOTE]
Right because bridal magazines are sources of etiquette and not for-profit corporations that are only interested in getting you and your BMs to spend money (preferably on their advertisers).

[Deleted User] · March 2010

Wow, I'd hate to be in your wedding party. BMs aren't there to work for you. Tehy are your friends, not servants.

lizstill13 · March 2010

Bridesmaid's duties should include the following:

putting on a dress
standing up with you while holding flowers
taking a few pictures
getting people on the dance floor

They want to party too, not run around serving your every whim. They did their part by buying the dress, let them have drink and boogie down.

trix1223 · March 2010

A bridesmaid's "role" is during the ceremony. Once the ceremony's over, your WP are your guests. And unless you're going to give other guests "duties" to perform at the reception, you shouldn't be doing it to your WP.

I take that back-you shouldn't be giving anyone duties. If you need something, I'm sure if you turn to a friend or family member, they'll be all to happy to do it.

I'm also sure that if you give them a list of things they are responsible for at your reception, they'll be talking. Only it won't be to you. It will be behind your back. And it won't be pretty.

cglinski1 · March 2010

I agree... having been a bridesmaid several times it stands out when a bride doesn't allow their friends to have any fun.

SillyLGoose · March 2010

Their only duty is to wear a dress of your choosing and to show up on time. I think wedding shows on t.v. give us the impression that they are supposed to do more.

Kniblet · March 2010

You asked your BP to be there to celebrate with you, not do chores.

List of Duties

Re: List of Duties

Choose Another Board

Search Boards