Elope!

Re: Elope!

• aerinpegadrak member

  

  March 2011 edited December 2011

  How would your parents feel about this?  I know multiple people who have very strained relationships with their parents, if they're even on speaking terms at all, because the parents weren't invited to their child's wedding.  Even if you do want something small and intimate, you should at least invite your parents and consider including your siblings.
  
  The reception is the "big show" portion of the event, so if you're still going to do that, I don't really see the point in eloping, honestly.  Just scale the whole thing down and do it once, and get married at that party at your house.

  This is a neglected planning bio.
  This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.
  
  
  Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284

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• wiwicaty

  

  March 2011 edited December 2011

  Hi there, can you share a bit more about what "style" of wedding (elopement) you plan to have? Formal, casual, Elvis, Llas Vegas sign etc ... So we can better advice you. Personally, I don't have experience with elopements but I would think it over thoroughly. As far as ideas for the at home celebration, this would be a question for your local board.

  
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• easullins

  

  March 2011 edited December 2011

  I feel the same way you do!  I started planning a big wedding here in Michigan, knowing all along it wasn't really "me".  I was able to convince my FI to go to Vegas, but he still wants to invite a ton of people, which has defeated my biggest reason for going to Vegas.  Once he realized how expensive a big Vegas wedding can get, he finally agreed to us eloping with possibly just my sister and his brother in attendance.  If we really do decide to elope, we will probably have a casual backyard event at my mom's house, which is probably similar to what you are planning.  
  
  Sorry I don't really have any good advice for you, because from the sound of it, we are in the same boat! 

  76 invited 35 ready to party 41 staying home

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• vfriday

  

  March 2011 edited December 2011

  many of the chapels offer the option to webcast your wedding.  Instead of inviting guests to a ceremony, you can invite them to view the wedding on-line and then do the reception at home.  That way, you do not have to invite anyone to vegas if you don't want to. 
  
  Parents can be tricky when dealing with weddings.  You may want to invite them to Vegas instead of friends if you really want witnesses.  I don't know too many parents who don't want to be present for their kids' wedding.  Just a thought.

  

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• aegrish member

  

  March 2011 edited December 2011

  Could you keep the guest list small if  you extended it beyond your 'witnesses'?  THat way close family & friends are less likely to be offended if they are invited.

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• nickikav

  

  March 2011 edited December 2011

  At the end of the day, your wedding is about you two, no-one else and what you both want to do.

  Originally we were going to elope to Vegas (we also both met at a wedding there, I was a BM, my fi was a groomsman).

  In the end we decided not to but only because I later felt I would be upset if my sisters were not there.

  We later told our families eloping was going to be our original plan, they were not offended at all, especially with the money we would have saved!

  They just want us both to be happy, and thats what the whole thing should be about.

  My planning bio
  

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• MeatAuditor member

  

  March 2011 edited December 2011

  My sister and her hubby went downtown and got married unannounced to anyone until after the fact.  It was kinda strange but no one had hard feelings.  The families threw them a party after the fact, complete with a cake.
  
  Sometimes theknot makes me realize that my family is more laid-back than I think. 

  

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• drkarie

  

  March 2011 edited December 2011

  My brother was the first in our family to get married and he eloped. He did the same thing as you are planning by only have one couple there as witnesses. 

  
  

  It was kind of funny because he got married at the Mall of America.  I was living in Minneapolis at the time and didn't even know that they had a chapel.  At the last minute he was going to invite me since I lived in town, but ultimately decided against it.  I was so happy that he didn't put me in that awkward position!  I would have gone in a heartbeat, but my family would have never forgiven me if I had been there and they weren't.  So my two cents is this, if you want to get married just you two and have the other couple as witnesses, do it.  You start thinking about who will be offended if they aren't invited, then that's how you get into having a much bigger wedding than you want.  No one in my family was offended at my brother's choice, because we all love him and it was his day.

  Good luck with planning!!  

  
  

  
  

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• JuNiLu

  

  March 2011 edited December 2011

  We do it and i LOVE it! He´s American and I´m German. We planned our wedding for this year in Germany. Almost everything was settled. Venue booked, friends signed in for their vacation time at work, std printed.... and than his fathers side of the family declared not to come because they didn´t like the date (during that month they couldn´t see enough from Europe)  We had 2 horrible months with a lot of trouble and discussions. We almost cancelled the total wedding, but that´s not what we wanted and just not us.
  We moved the "church ceremony" and the big wedding party to next year. Of course we got again into a lot of trouble because all the other guests/friends wouldn´t understand why we moved the wedding. TOO MUCH PRESSURE.
  We´ll elope on April, 22nd. We leave early Friday morning here in Germany and arrive Friday night at Vegas.  We´ll meet 2 very close friends from America there and just Party. We get married Saturday Night by Elvis and have all Sunday to rlax before we fly out early Monday. Nobody knows beside Us, Our 2 friends and now YOU!
  I don´t care what my family and friends think. They were all putting so much opinions and pressure on our wedding that we quit. Everybody will get what they want NEXT YEAR. This year it´s just us.
  I would invest some money that you save to get a professional  photographer /videographer. So if you do a party afterwards you can use the material for table decoration, slide show etc. Some will be jealou/mad that they weren´t  there but true friends/family will be happy for you and enjoy watching the pictures.

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