s/o finances: how important...

TheDuckis · September 2011

Is income and/or income potential in choosing a partner?

TheDuckis · September 2011

No special snowflakes?

H still laughs at me because before we even really started dating I told him that I don't date losers. I think my exact words were something about "I'm accustomed to a certain lifestyle, and I won't give it up for someone who can't support a family." This was 6+ years ago, at a time that I never wanted or would have dreamed of being a SAHW or SAHM, so it wasn't said with gold-digging intentions. Just a matter-of-fact, "I don't want to be poor."

Money may not buy happiness, but I'm pretty damn materialistic and I learned pretty early on not to waste my time with dudes whose life plans were to work for their uncle and smoke a lot of pot.

baconsmom · September 2011

I'm a special snowflake. He's not well-educated, but he's a hard worker and takes supporting a family as a responsibility.

I have no issues with not making a lot, as long as it's enough, and despite my mother's horror at it, I have no issues with blue-collar jobs. I think work ethic and ambition matter more than education, and I was impressed with both when I met my H.

PMeg819 · September 2011

I"m with you Duckis. I knew after DH and I got serious that he wasn't a slacker. It didn't have to be 6 figure money (and hell his first job's paycheck was laughable), but I knew that he'd always work hard and be a ladder climber. I joke with DH now that basically he needs to start earning the 7 figures so I can quit and do nothing all day.

hmonkey · September 2011

it's way more important to my parents than it is to me; they are still a little pissy that i turned down a date with a friend's kid who was a plastic surgeon.

that being said, i wouldn't date anyone who couldn't provide a comfortable lifestyle. i don't need to drive a lexus, but i'm not driving a chevette.

TheDuckis · September 2011

I am genuinely curious about the people that say they don't need money to be happy. Are you EmilyKate frugal, do you have a lot of debt, or are you actually quite comfortable and just saying you don't "need" the money?

**O-Face** · September 2011

I'm with bmom. If you consider a high school grad not "well educated" I guess that is where he falls. Yet he makes more money than me and has more potential. He should've been some sort of mechanical engineer.

NOLABridesmaid · September 2011

What do you mean by poor?

TheDuckis · September 2011

That's a good question, Nola. I guess in the most basic sense, your monthly bills are higher than your monthly income.

But there's something deeper in it too, in that I don't want to give up my iphone or my starbucks in order to keep my monthly bills lower than my income. If we were living like EmiliyKate, even if we were techncally putting money into savings each month I'd consider myself poor.

So let's go with "unable to enjoy a few basic luxuries without wondering where you'll find the cash for it at the end of the month."

loveshine1 · September 2011

I am close to TD and PMeg on this.

In college, I only dated guys who worked. This limited the pool for me considerably. But I figured if I worked, they should be working, too. The whole poor college student thing wasn't cute to me. I needed someone who was working towards a goal.

When I first started dating DH, his pay was a complete joke. He was dedicated to his job, but it was going nowhere, and he knew it. He found himself a much better career and is recognized in his field.

I made it very clear to him my expectations of living comfortably and wanting to eventually be a SAHW/SAHM.

NOLABridesmaid · September 2011

See, I think by the time a man is 40 he should be able to pay all of his bills and have something left over. Unless, you lost your job, battled an illness, or something, it shouldn't be that hard to do.

mattycam · September 2011

My husband doesn't have a degree but he is a very hard worker in and out of the home. He doesn't make a lot but with both of our incomes we are doing okay.

jenniferb77 · September 2011

i think how a person handles their finances is a lot more crucial than the amount of money they make.

my fiance and i don't make a lot. however, he works his butt off every day to help (he does make quite a bit more than i do). he never went to college and never intends to.

we live a fairly spartan lifestyle, but it's more about giving up things we don't need as well as want. we have money enough to have savings, to buy the fun things we want, to have a nice hobby together and still pay all the bills in full and on time. we don't live in a palatial home, but it's plenty for the two of us. we don't have the fanciest car, but it's dependable and economical. *shrugs*

i guess this makes me a special snowflake too?

s/o finances: how important...

Re: s/o finances: how important...

Choose Another Board

Search Boards