Attire & Accessories Forum

Who should pay for BM dresses?

Hi, 
I'd like to know who should pay for the Bridesmaids dresses? I read in wedding planning books that the bridemaids should pay for their own dresses. I asked all my friends who were bridesmaids and they paid for it and had no problems with doing that. Now I am getting married and I am on a tight budget since we have a big family and my mom absolutely wanted to invite the whole family. My sisters got married years ago and I still have my bridesmaid dresses and they are really nice so I though my bridesmaids could wear them for my wedding. They dont want to. thats fine. but now they sent me and email and ask that I give them money so they can go shop for a dress...... I find it was rude.... I mean if I am going to buy them a dress I'd go and buy it, I'm not gonna give them money and they do whatever they want with it.... Would like your comments. Thanks!

Re: Who should pay for BM dresses?

  • They usually pay for their own dress.  However, if you are going to require them to wear a certain necklace, certain shoes, or have their hair/makeup done by a professional, you are responsible for paying for those things.
  • bethsmilesbethsmiles member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited January 2012
    You are not required to buy their BM dresses. What you should do is discuss a budget with each of them (individually) and then pick a dress that is within all of their budgets.

    About the e-mail I would respond that your budget does not allow for you to purchase their BM dresses for them but you would like to discuss budgets with them so you can all agree on a dress everyone can afford.


  • I've said before that I may be the only one on here that thinks this but I think the bride should pay for bridesmaid gowns especially if you're requiring them to go with a particular style.

    I see it in my head like hosting a costume party or even a formal cocktail party at your home.  One would never tell guests what, specifically, to wear and if you did you'd probably offer to pay for it.

    Again I know that's not current "tradition" but I think it's tacky to expect bridesmaids to pay.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • @ Kekr0202: I do not require them any color or style. they wear what they want. I gave them some dresses and they dont want to wear them. They want me not to go and buy a dress for them, no, they want me to give them cash so THEY can go shop. Maybe it's me but I find that a bit too much. 
  • I chose dresses that my bridesmaids are paying for, but:

    - I found them on clearance at David's Bridal for $50 each
    - I placed the order and the girls will pay me back (to be sure everyone was able to get one)
    - I'm covering the cost of shipping the dress to the girls (about $5/girl)
    - They get to pick their own shoes, accessories, hair style, etc.
  • Bridesmaids should buy their own dresses BUT be considerate of their financial situation.  You may have a style that you love that is way out of their budget.  Discuss a reasonable price with them.  If there are dresses you have to have that your maids cannot afford, you might consider paying partial costs.

    Here's an idea, if you are open to it, allow your maids to pick their own dress style.  The color and fabric can be uniform, but different styles may work better for varying BM budgets. 

    Jessica & Patrick
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_should-pay-bm-dresses?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:32c83f02-a1ec-42c5-a716-c3f4d490c6acPost:6aaa0fb8-6575-4096-816c-b9fbb60db057">Re: Who should pay for BM dresses?</a>:
    [QUOTE]@ Kekr0202: I do not require them any color or style. they wear what they want. I gave them some dresses and they dont want to wear them. They want me not to go and buy a dress for them, no, they want me to give them cash so THEY can go shop. Maybe it's me but I find that a bit too much. 
    Posted by didierandstephaniewedding[/QUOTE]

    Sorry I should have said that I don't agree with what they're asking you to do...I was more answering the question "who should pay for BM dresses?"  I wouldn't provide, nor did I provide, my BMs cash.  If I buy, I get more say IMO...but then again my MoH loved the dress we chose.

    Crummy situation but just be clear with them that that is not an option.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • edited August 2012
    Ok My bridesmaids are going to wear the same dress, but I am taking the three of them together on Aug 19th to try on dresses and figure out which one they like the best and go with that one.. The three of them are telling me that they dont have the money right now for the dresses... My wedding is a year away and I am giving them a decent amount of time to come up with the money, but I am worried that they are going to flake out on me and try to push it to the last min so that I am forced to pay for the dress and I have already went over my wedding budget as it is.... what should I do?
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