How important are looks?

thecatsfancy · April 2010

Figured I'd keep the post-train going...LOL!

My younger cousin (17yo) is so focused on looks rather than who a person is inside. She only wants the really hot boys (oy...she's def a handful). Anyway, when I went into the "looks aren't everything" speech, she rolled her eyes at me and said, "Well, you have to be attracted to the guy!! If he's ugly, it's sooooooo gross kissing him." I think she even made a gagging noise. (Gotta love teenagers!!!)

I know she's young and this attitude is bound to change, but it got me thinking...how important are looks?

Any thoughts?

----------------------
Added after Julie's post:

Were you physically attracted to your FI/DH initially (w/o speaking to him) or was it an attraction that grew as you got to know him?

Julz629 · April 2010

I have to be attracted to them, but I think physical attraction grows when you get to know someone. Have you ever met someone and thought, "they're OK looking." And then after talking to them, you're like, "OMG, so HOT!!" If I click with someone and they have a great personality, I will be physically attracted to them.

Or vice versa, someone can be really hot, but once you get to know them, you can't stand them. Or even stand seeing them / looking at them.

Does this make ANY sense?

thecatsfancy · April 2010

Perfect sense...and you said it way better than I could have. LOL!

Julz629 · April 2010

LOL, I felt like I was rambling. I guess to answer your question, attractiveness is far more important than looks. And for me, attractiveness is a combination of their appearance AND personality.

thecatsfancy · April 2010

I added a new question to my OP...

I'm a Nosy Nancy today. Please humor me and make my work day go faster.

Julz629 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.weddings.com/Sites/Weddings/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_important-looks?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:88Discussion:c4b232e1-e436-4a36-8b9c-989f706ee39ePost:a3d2dd06-d5c7-4b34-bd41-e26e36c869c0">How important are looks?</a>:
[QUOTE]Were you physically attracted to your FI/DH initially (w/o speaking to him) or was it an attraction that grew as you got to know him?
Posted by thecatsfancy[/QUOTE]

I was physcially attracted to him at first. I always like big, tall guys and he had that going for him. And that attraction grew even more as I got to know him.

Gwenwhyfare · April 2010

I'll answer your second question, because I agree with Julie completely on your first.

No. He was sweating bullets (as my niece would say) on a treadmill; I met him in the gym I worked at. Not attractive at all. I gave him a shot after he showered, though..

Knottie1435582995 · April 2010

I'd have to agree with Julie. Attraction is a combination of personality and looks.

And, while I hate to agree with a 17 y/o, it is true that you have to be physically attracted to a person for the relationship to work. I dated someone for 3 years in college. Everything was great at first, until he got depressed, packed on the weight and became extremely lazy (I'm talking not showering for 7-10 days lazy). It slowly got to the point were I was completely grossed out to even kiss him b/c I was SO unattracted to him. To say the least, it ended badly.

So, in the end I 100% agree that attraction is a combination of looks & personality...but looks are still a part of the equation.

thecatsfancy · April 2010

Thanks for humoring me, ladies!!!

I suppose I could answer my own question...

I was definitely attracted to Bri w/o ever speaking to him...we met online (LOL). The attraction grew tenfold once we started talking and I got to know him better.

thecatsfancy · April 2010

Jen, I am laughing about the "sweating bullets" thing. I'm sure Brad is happy you gave him a chance after her showered!

sunkissed212 · April 2010

Matt and I met online too so obviously I saw what he looked like before I ever spoke a word to him. And, I initiated contact (I rock).

Julie is a genius lol. It's "attractiveness" that's important. And that is a well balanced combination of a lot of attributes. Looks being one of them. No, looks aren't everything but they're definitely something. Does that make me shallow? Maybe, but I sleep fine at night. At first encounter, most of the time that's all you have to go on so I think there has to be something about the way a person looks that draws you to them. Obviously,getting to know the person can change your view of their looks drastically. I know a lot of hot people that are really sucky in relationships.

The other night we went to the store and when we parked there was a car next to us an these 2 teenie boppers had their tongues down each other's throats. I made that gagging noise that Taryn's cousin made (sometimes i'm immature).

thecatsfancy · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_important-looks?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:88Discussion:c4b232e1-e436-4a36-8b9c-989f706ee39ePost:dfe111ee-70b7-4766-b7c8-c7f7872a4ac7">Re: How important are looks?</a>:
[QUOTE]t's "attractiveness" that's important. And that is a well balanced combination of a lot of attributes. <strong>Looks being one of them. No, looks aren't everything but they're definitely something. Does that make me shallow? Maybe, but I sleep fine at night.</strong> At first encounter, most of the time that's all you have to go on so I think there has to be something about the way a person looks that draws you to them. Obviously,getting to know the person can change your view of their looks drastically.
Posted by sunkissed212[/QUOTE]

I agree, Kim. Looks certainly are important to me, but they aren't everything. I couldn't be with someone I wasn't physically attracted to. Heck, I'd probably make the gagging noise too!

ladysunkissed · April 2010

Well, after dating a string of Abercrombie-model-look-a-likes in my 20s and constantly getting my heart broken, my dad actually said to me: "You always go after the tall, good-looking, muscular ones...short and fat is where it's at!" LOL...he probably said this because my mom was a long-legged, big boobed blonde who married the short chubby guy (a.k.a. him). That's our family joke...50 years later, they're still attached at the hip.

That being said, my FI wasn't my "type" at all when I met him. He had this weird beard thing going on, earrings and tattoos all over the place. But I was hooked by the second date because he treated me so well. I look at him now and I can't believe I am so lucky to get to marry the hottest, kindest, sweetest guy I've ever met!

So after this long rambling post, I believe that someone who you may not be initially attracted to and/or your type can definitely be the most perfect match for you. Off my soapbox!

thecatsfancy · April 2010

I love your post, Amanda. *grin*

"Short and fat is where it's at..." LOL!

ladysunkissed · April 2010

LOL...thanks! We actually have family shirts with that slogan. We should probably trademark it, eh?

Gwenwhyfare · April 2010

Taryn, I laugh whenever my niece says it, too. I don't know where she learns these things. But, that would be the nicest way of describing my FI when I first met him unfortunately, LOL.

I know he's happy I did, too. I certainly am

sunkissed212 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://detroit.weddings.com/main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_important-looks?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:88Discussion:c4b232e1-e436-4a36-8b9c-989f706ee39ePost:91d9c7e7-54a0-4533-bc5c-23c3121b70a9">Re: How important are looks?</a>:
[QUOTE]...short and fat is where it's at!"

my FI wasn't my "type" at all when I met him. Posted by ladysunkissed[/QUOTE]

a) hilarious quote, especially from a dad!

b) what was it that <em>drew</em> you to your FI then, at first. What was it that made you want to go out with him? What caught your interest?

*note: I'm not being snarky, I'm just wondering what it was in this case that was the "attraction factor" if it wasn't his looks and he wasn't your type.

ladysunkissed · April 2010

This is going to sound awful, but I hated my job at the time and I figured that if I could spend nine hours a day around miserable people, what's two hours with someone I didn't know? I swear that my dating life became the highlight of my former co-workers' days, as I'd always have a good story to tell them after random dates. So at that point in my life, I figured if I got asked out by someone who wasn't super creepy, it was better than sitting home alone!

As for my FI, we met online and I saw only a couple of pictures of him. But his grammar was perfect (LOL) and the first time we spoke on the phone, his voice had (and still has!) this calming effect on me. We had a nice date and although I didn't think he was my "type", I figured, "If he calls, I'll go out with him. If he doesn't, I'm not going to sweat it."

Long story short, the initial attraction:
1) His voice
2) The way he treated me respectfully
3) On the second date he wore a great pair of jeans that showed off his cute butt. LOL

boogerbearoriginal · April 2010

Ooo, good question Taryn.

I was definitely physically attracted to FI when we first met, but, we both had been drinking and we both were dating other people (just casually mind you - I'm not a homewrecker lol).

I think there has to be an initial spark of interest, whether its a cute smile, nice eyes, something. But I agree with Julie the personality has to come in to play too. If someone is super hot but a big dull dud well they suddenly don't look so good anymore.

4 years later, I think FI's smokin' hot - more so than when we met and I can't imagine him being anything but super sexy to me.

thecatsfancy · April 2010

Dan, the Sexy Man.

I had to. Sorry.

boogerbearoriginal · April 2010

OMG - that's hilarious.

sunkissed212 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://detroit.weddings.com/main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_important-looks?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:88Discussion:c4b232e1-e436-4a36-8b9c-989f706ee39ePost:060aee96-da0b-4224-a5dc-07c6d1374ff2">Re: How important are looks?</a>:
[QUOTE]Ooo, good question Taryn. I was definitely physically attracted to FI when we first met, but, we both had been drinking and we both were dating other people (just casually mind you - I'm not a homewrecker lol).
Posted by Booger+Bear[/QUOTE]

^^ hilarious

thecatsfancy · April 2010

Wait, hold the boat...Erin's a homewrecker?!?!?

I kid, I kid.

sammichele · April 2010

I totally agree with all of you. There has to be an attraction first. When FI and I first met I thought he was okay. I mean he was cute and seemed SORT of my style but nothing huge. I became more attracted to him as we talked more. Now I feel like he's absolutely perfect and can't think of anyone more attractive than him.

These threads are so fun today! I love all the lovey-ness

boogerbearoriginal · April 2010

Taryn - I am NOT a homewrecker lol! Don't you sully my good name. He stopped talking to that other girl after our first date. And the guy I was dating moved to Germany.

thecatsfancy · April 2010

Ahhh...Dan, the Sexy Man and Erin, the (non) Homewrecker...marital bliss for sure.

*muah*

scarywife1026 · April 2010

I prefer dorks. Allyn is the biggest dork I know, and he's pretty cute. He also broke every rule I had....
I said I'd never date a mechanic. The dirty, stained nails/hands gross me out, but he doesn't have those because he actually wears those Mechanix gloves. He's not a mechanic, but he's a gearhead (into drag racing).

I said I'd never date a dude w/ a mullet. Even though it was about 5 years before I met him, Allyn had one for most of his teenage to adult years. A very special mullet. It was almost a dealbreaker. If you're a FB friend, look under my album "Maureen" to see this spectacular piece of work. I believe it was permed at one point. lol

I met Allyn online. Funny thing that still makes me laugh is that he lied about his height! hahaha He said he was 5'9" and he's 5'7". He said he couldn't get any dates when he was honest about it! Tall is good, but I really just prefer the guy to be taller than me, which isn't too difficult at 5'4". A former manager of mine was really tall, had a short boyfriend, and he sat in her lap. It was just weird.

thecatsfancy · April 2010

"A very special mullett" - was it better than than the Silver Mane of Glory at Champps?? If so, that's impressive. Very, very impressive.

scarywife1026 · April 2010

Nothing tops THAT mullet. Allyn's wasn't nearly as long, nor did he look like he was sporting the rebel flag off the back of his truck like that old man. lol

Allyn looked more like he belonged in the band, Night Ranger. lol Here it is...and he will kill me for posting this...hahaha I can't stop giggling when I see this picture.

thecatsfancy · April 2010

OMG. That. is. priceless.

Tell Allyn I appreciate and bow down to the mullett.

scarywife1026 · April 2010

He'll appreciate that! lol

I told him he could grow it back, but he won't.

How important are looks?

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