Last Names on Invitations...

alyelcalil · March 2013

So, my husband and I "eloped" in December of 2011. We are having the actual ceremony and reception in August of this year (renewing our vows). On the invitations it usually says the bride's maiden name (because of course she isn't married yet). Well... what would I do in this case? I am in the process of changing my last name from our December wedding (yes, I am a procrastinator). I will have his last name in a month or so. Do I put my maiden name on the invitations when I print them out or do I use my married name? So confusing! Oh, and the wording on the invites...do we say that it is a renewal of vows? Any help would be wonderful! Thanks!

beardownbchs · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_last-names-on-invitations?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:1ca23b20-4c36-4425-98a3-9addded85e18Post:1063a8fa-a4db-4760-9d9a-3114a3d8b6e0">Last Names on Invitations...</a>:
[QUOTE]So, my husband and I "eloped" in December of 2011. <strong>We are having the actual ceremony </strong>and reception in August of this year (renewing our vows). On the invitations it usually says the bride's maiden name (because of course she isn't married yet). Well... what would I do in this case? I am in the process of changing my last name from our December wedding (yes, I am a procrastinator). I will have his last name in a month or so. Do I put my maiden name on the invitations when I print them out or do I use my married name? So confusing! Oh, and the wording on the invites...do we say that it is a renewal of vows? Any help would be wonderful! Thanks!
Posted by alyelcalil[/QUOTE]

You already had an "actual ceremony". Having a fake re-do wedding is inappropriate. But, if you really insist, you should absolutely call it a vow renewal.

Please know that a lot of your guests will side-eye this. Vow renewals are approrpriate for milestone anniversaries - 10, 25 years, not a year and a half so the wife can have a pretty princess day.

I suggest having a party in celebration of your marriage, but not including any of the aspects of an actual wedding. No wedding dress, no bridal party, no ceremony. Just a great party with good food and drinks and a lovely gown. CMGr will have the correct wording for this.

AddieCake · March 2013

Yes, you say it is a vow renewal b/c you already had your "actual" wedding ceremony.

Here is a wesbite that may help you:

http://www.idotaketwo.com/vow_renewal_etiquette.html

alyelcalil · March 2013

I'm sorry but I disagree. I never got to wear the white gown, have bridesmaids...I didn't have the experience of a wedding that every girl wants. I PLAN on having a ceremony, we never got to give our family a ceremony or reception and not to be rude but I really don't care what your opinion on that is. I just wanted input on the invitations. Just the invitations. Ok, so I won't call it a renewal, whatever, that is fine. But I am still having the experience. I don't see why I don't deserve that?

And, in my eyes, it is quite fitting to call it a renewal...because we had a bumpy first year of marriage lol. We have resolved our problems, things are slowly getting better, we love each other, so I think of it as kind of a fresh start. So to speak. Renewing our love. What is wrong with that?

alyelcalil · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_last-names-on-invitations?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:1ca23b20-4c36-4425-98a3-9addded85e18Post:e83c38e5-685c-42cb-9fb5-de1c5b7cda18">Re: Last Names on Invitations...</a>:
[QUOTE]Yes, you say it is a vow renewal b/c you already had your "actual" wedding ceremony. Here is a wesbite that may help you: <a href="http://www.idotaketwo.com/vow_renewal_etiquette.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.idotaketwo.com/vow_renewal_etiquette.html</a>
Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]

Thank you, Addie! :)

AddieCake · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_last-names-on-invitations?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:1ca23b20-4c36-4425-98a3-9addded85e18Post:233206bf-ad04-4ffc-8b26-ab3f77c34b70">Re: Last Names on Invitations...</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm sorry but I disagree. I never got to wear the white gown, have bridesmaids...I didn't have the experience of a wedding that every girl wants. I PLAN on having a ceremony, we never got to give our family a ceremony or reception and not to be rude but I really don't care what your opinion on that is. I just wanted input on the invitations. Just the invitations. Ok, so I won't call it a renewal, whatever, that is fine. But I am still having the experience. I don't see why I don't deserve that?
Posted by alyelcalil[/QUOTE]

<div>That's fine, but wedding redos do not go over well on these boards. Nobody "deserves" a wedding. Plenty of people "only" do a JOP wedding, and when people say they "deserve" something bigger and better implies that a JOP wedding is somehow sub par and can be offensive to those who did (and were perfectly content with) such a wedding. I'm sorry you didn't get the wedding you wanted, but we all make choices. </div>

beardownbchs · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_last-names-on-invitations?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:1ca23b20-4c36-4425-98a3-9addded85e18Post:233206bf-ad04-4ffc-8b26-ab3f77c34b70">Re: Last Names on Invitations...</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm sorry but I disagree. I never got to wear the white gown, have bridesmaids...I didn't have the experience of a wedding that every girl wants. I PLAN on having a ceremony, we never got to give our family a ceremony or reception and not to be rude but I really don't care what your opinion on that is. I just wanted input on the invitations. Just the invitations. Ok, so I won't call it a renewal, whatever, that is fine. But I am still having the experience. I don't see why I don't deserve that?
Posted by alyelcalil[/QUOTE]

You deserve to live with the choices that you have made. You chose to get married last December without the dress or the bridal party. I would assume that no one held a gun to your head and you had no say in this. You're a wife. That right there means that you don't deserve to have a wedding.

I didn't have a graduation party when I graduated high school. Should I throw myself one now because I "deserve" it? Should I rent out my high school and hire actors to give my my diploma and wear the cap and gown? Would you think this is okay?

alyelcalil · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_last-names-on-invitations?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:1ca23b20-4c36-4425-98a3-9addded85e18Post:828490b2-4e97-4abb-8732-fb246e94ada9">Re: Last Names on Invitations...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Last Names on Invitations... : That's fine, but wedding redos do not go over well on these boards. Nobody "deserves" a wedding. I'm sorry you didn't get the wedding you wanted, but we all make choices.
Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]

Really? Nobody deserves it..lol. I think I'm on the wrong website here. I wanted input on something and I get attacked because my husband and I wanted to have a ceremony with all the tradition to go along with it. Yes, we made a decision. You don't know the story of us, or what happened before that, so don't judge. I don't see what the problem is with a girl wanting to have a real wedding. With ALL of my friends and family. Nobody saw us exchange vows. I want my father to have the chance to walk me down the aisle.

Every single person we have invited has been excited about it. They are excited about seeing us, we haven't been home in a year and a half. They are excited about the entire experience. I really don't see what the big problem is. It's not a redo wedding. We went to the local officiant and got married in town hall. With nobody there.

alyelcalil · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_last-names-on-invitations?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:1ca23b20-4c36-4425-98a3-9addded85e18Post:27d6e3ee-a281-4f5b-83fa-dc086720cca1">Re: Last Names on Invitations...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Last Names on Invitations... : You deserve to live with the choices that you have made. You chose to get married last December without the dress or the bridal party. I would assume that no one held a gun to your head and you had no say in this. You're a wife. That right there means that you don't deserve to have a wedding. I didn't have a graduation party when I graduated high school. Should I throw myself one now because I "deserve" it? Should I rent out my high school and hire actors to give my my diploma and wear the cap and gown? Would you think this is okay?
Posted by beardownbchs[/QUOTE]

WOW. Are you guys kidding me right now? Wow.... and you know what, why not have a graduation party? You can do whatever you want. It's your perogative. (p.s. You do not get your diploma and wear your cap/gown at your graduation PARTY...that would be just the graduation).

alyelcalil · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_last-names-on-invitations?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:1ca23b20-4c36-4425-98a3-9addded85e18Post:828490b2-4e97-4abb-8732-fb246e94ada9">Re: Last Names on Invitations...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Last Names on Invitations... : That's fine, but wedding redos do not go over well on these boards. Nobody "deserves" a wedding. Plenty of people "only" do a JOP wedding, and when people say they "deserve" something bigger and better implies that a JOP wedding is somehow sub par and can be offensive to those who did (and were perfectly content with) such a wedding. I'm sorry you didn't get the wedding you wanted, but we all make choices.
Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]

I never said a JOP was sub par. We were in a bit of a rush is all, and knew we wanted still wanted a ceremony and reception with our friends and family in the next year. I just find it hilarious that people on here will actually tell someone "you live with your choices" or "you don't deserve a wedding, you're already a wife" lol WOW!

beardownbchs · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_last-names-on-invitations?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:1ca23b20-4c36-4425-98a3-9addded85e18Post:d6bbc8c0-5006-4f87-abb0-8a93ebb6cba1">Re: Last Names on Invitations...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Last Names on Invitations... : WOW. Are you guys kidding me right now? Wow.... and you know what, why not have a graduation party? You can do whatever you want. It's your perogative. (p.s. <strong>You do not get your diploma and wear your cap/gown at your graduation PARTY...that would be just the graduation</strong>).
Posted by alyelcalil[/QUOTE]

This pretty much proves my point - you already had your wedding. A wedding is when you get married. You did not have a party to celebrate, so you can absolutely do that now, it's just tacky for you to make it look like a wedding.

alyelcalil · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_last-names-on-invitations?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:1ca23b20-4c36-4425-98a3-9addded85e18Post:888335f1-2a15-4e32-9da6-7e2a4390ca80">Re: Last Names on Invitations...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Last Names on Invitations... : This pretty much proves my point - you already had your wedding. A wedding is when you get married. You did not have a party to celebrate, so you can absolutely do that now, it's just tacky for you to make it look like a wedding.
Posted by beardownbchs[/QUOTE]

And you can just not comment anymore because I asked about INVITATIONS. That's all I wanted. Not to be attacked because of my choices. It's funny that NOBODY in my family or none of my friends think it's "tacky". Quite the opposite actually. Everyone wanted us to do it. And I said why the heck not? But now that I am on the holy Knot, I see now that I am tacky and not deserving of anything. Thanks guys! :)

I also was not aware that you had to wait a certain amount of years to "renew" your vows. Like I said...you do not know me. You do not know anything we've been through. So don't judge.

AddieCake · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_last-names-on-invitations?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:1ca23b20-4c36-4425-98a3-9addded85e18Post:6b804863-f917-4a1e-9737-429304ff7fdd">Re: Last Names on Invitations...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Last Names on Invitations... : Really? Nobody deserves it..lol. I think I'm on the wrong website here. I wanted input on something and I get attacked because my husband and I wanted to have a ceremony with all the tradition to go along with it. Yes, we made a decision. You don't know the story of us, or what happened before that, so don't judge. I don't see what the problem is with a girl wanting to have a real wedding. With ALL of my friends and family. Nobody saw us exchange vows. I want my father to have the chance to walk me down the aisle. Every single person we have invited has been excited about it. They are excited about seeing us, we haven't been home in a year and a half. They are excited about the entire experience. I really don't see what the big problem is. It's not a redo wedding. We went to the local officiant and got married in town hall. With nobody there.
Posted by alyelcalil[/QUOTE]<div>
<div>Nobody attacked you. We just told you what is and is not proper etiquette for this. You did have a real wedding unless the ceremony you had at city hall was only in your imagination. Your "real" wedding day is the day you get married to someone, not the day you wear the prettiest dress.

</div></div>

AddieCake · March 2013

And you are misunderstanding the word "deserve." Around here, that's a hot button word in this situation. Do I think it would be lovely if every person out there could have a beautiful wedding with all the trimmings if that's what he or she wants? Absolutely. But nobody "deserves" it. The only thing anyone "deserves" in this world are basic human rights, like the right to even GET married, and you already have those. Count your blessings. Some people can't get married at all and would give anything to be able to be able to "just" go to city hall and get married.

alyelcalil · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_last-names-on-invitations?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:1ca23b20-4c36-4425-98a3-9addded85e18Post:7fbe9b4a-9363-41cb-8425-a3155bb92fe6">Re: Last Names on Invitations...</a>:
[QUOTE]And you are misunderstanding the word "deserve." Around here, that's a hot button word in this situation. Do I think it would be lovely if every person out there could have a beautiful wedding with all the trimmings if that's what he or she wants? Absolutely. But nobody "deserves" it. The only thing anyone "deserves" in this word are basic human rights, like the right to even GET married, and you already have those. Count your blessings. Some people can't get married at all and would give anything to be able to be able to "just" go to city hall and get married.
Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]

Oh hell, forget it. I will be taking this post off. Thanks for your "help". Glad to see nobody is on my side. Thanks again! I guess I will take my inquiries to a more TACKY site...

AddieCake · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_last-names-on-invitations?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:1ca23b20-4c36-4425-98a3-9addded85e18Post:e4f8e2b7-53e1-44f6-960e-3917afe09358">Re: Last Names on Invitations...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Last Names on Invitations... : Oh hell, forget it. I will be taking this post off. Thanks for your "help". Glad to see nobody is on my side.
Posted by alyelcalil[/QUOTE]

<div>There's no point in taking the post off. You were quoted, so your post will still be seen. Plus, if you feel the need to take the post down, you must not own your feelings about it. I think if you feel a certain way about something, you should have the balls to own it and leave it there as is. </div><div>
</div><div>And it's perfectly fine if you want to renew your vows. It's just that doing that so soon after your wedding is something a lot of people side-eye b/c that's when it looks like a redo. We are just letting you know how people tend to see those things. Your friends and family won't tell you the truth to your face b/c they love you. Instead, they could gossip behind your back. Here, we try to prevent that from happening to you. </div>

beardownbchs · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_last-names-on-invitations?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:1ca23b20-4c36-4425-98a3-9addded85e18Post:9edd1f2c-a43e-4865-ad0d-719509643a86">Re: Last Names on Invitations...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Last Names on Invitations... : I never said a JOP was sub par. We were in a bit of a rush is all, and knew we wanted still wanted a ceremony and reception with our friends and family in the next year. I just find it hilarious that people on here will actually tell someone "you live with your choices" or "you don't deserve a wedding, you're already a wife" lol WOW!
Posted by alyelcalil[/QUOTE]

JIC

alyelcalil · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_last-names-on-invitations?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:1ca23b20-4c36-4425-98a3-9addded85e18Post:6aba6154-0625-4053-ba61-57c2f1a8644b">Re: Last Names on Invitations...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Last Names on Invitations... : There's no point in taking the post off. You were quoted, so your post will still be seen. Plus, if you feel the need to take the post down, you must not own your feelings about it. I think if you feel a certain way about something, you should have the balls to own it and leave it there as is. And it's perfectly fine if you want to renew your vows. It's just that doing that so soon after your wedding is something a lot of people side-eye b/c that's when it looks like a redo. We are just letting you know how people tend to see those things. Your friends and family won't tell you the truth to your face b/c they love you. Instead, they could gossip behind your back. Here, we try to prevent that from happening to you.
Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]

That's fine. I don't really care what is said about me, to be honest. I just think it's funny that most of my family is trying to get involved and plan and pay for everything. Yeah, they are definitely gossiping behind our backs! What evil people.

I'm done explaining myself. You've said how you obviously feel about me and my choices. So let's leave it be.

beardownbchs · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_last-names-on-invitations?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:1ca23b20-4c36-4425-98a3-9addded85e18Post:2880d5b4-131f-4846-a189-55474f1b6dc6">Re: Last Names on Invitations...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Last Names on Invitations... : That's fine. I don't really care what is said about me, to be honest. I just think it's funny that most of my family is trying to get involved and plan and pay for everything. Yeah, they are definitely gossiping behind our backs! What evil people. I'm done explaining myself. You've said how you obviously feel about me and my choices. So let's leave it be.
Posted by alyelcalil[/QUOTE]

So if you clearly don't care about what others think and looking tacky - then why do you care about the correct wording of your invitations? If you're going to do whatever you want, why are your invites any different?

LiLe422 · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_last-names-on-invitations?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:1ca23b20-4c36-4425-98a3-9addded85e18Post:9edd1f2c-a43e-4865-ad0d-719509643a86">Re: Last Names on Invitations...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Last Names on Invitations... :<strong> I never said a JOP was sub par. </strong>We were in a bit of a rush is all, and knew we wanted still wanted a ceremony and reception with our friends and family in the next year. I just find it hilarious that people on here will actually tell someone "you live with your choices" or "you don't deserve a wedding, you're already a wife" lol WOW!
Posted by alyelcalil[/QUOTE]

Uh, yeah you did -- when you said you wanted a "real" wedding. Guess what? A JOP wedding<em> is</em> a real wedding, and just as valid as a wedding with all the frills. So there's that.

Your view on a JOP wedding is a slap in the face to anyone who considers their JOP wedding to be real. Cause ya know, it is real. What is not real, is your PPD do-over. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-undecided.gif" border="0" alt="Undecided" title="Undecided" />

misshart00 · March 2013

Why not just have an awesome anniversary party? Wear a gorgeous dress. Have wonderful food and a fabulous cake.

alyelcalil · March 2013

Wow. Keep on bashing me, go right ahead. Like I said, you don't even know the whole story. But at this point, I wouldn't want to share it with people like you.

beardownbchs · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_last-names-on-invitations?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:1ca23b20-4c36-4425-98a3-9addded85e18Post:d1cd48ec-e4d2-4b30-80b7-09e17b7a2d1c">Re: Last Names on Invitations...</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow. Keep on bashing me, go right ahead. Like I said, you don't even know the whole story. But at this point, I wouldn't want to share it with people like you.
Posted by alyelcalil[/QUOTE]

No one is bashing on you. We're telling you what we think and what is correct etiquette-wise. You don't like what we have to say and you're pouting and acting like a child because of it.

You're right - we don't know the whole story. But I cannot think of any situation where a fake ceremony is appropriate. The only thing I can think of is if two people had already been planning a wedding, put deposits down and suddenly one of them (or an immediate family member) got extremely sick or deployed and had a quick JOP ceremony. Then it would be okay to keep the party, but still not wear a wedding dress or have a fake ceremony.

Strangers on the internet are going to tell you what others are thinking but won't tell you because they love you. If 10/10 people here think what you're planning is tacky, chances are that at least some of your friends and family will too.

Please, think about it. You honestly won't feel like a fool wearing a wedding dress when you're not a bride? You won't feel like foolish saying vows that are pointless because you have already said them and you're already married? Seriously - I'm not trying to be rude. I'm trying to get you to see it from a different perspective.

misshart00 · March 2013

In Response to Re:Last Names on Invitations...:[QUOTE]Wow. Keep on bashing me, go right ahead. Like I said, you don't even know the whole story. But at this point, I wouldn't want to share it with people like you. Posted by alyelcalil[/QUOTE]

No one said you can't have an awesome party. That's fine. Acting like you're not married so that you can have a PPD is what is ridiculous.

And if you're so fed up with our advice, why do you keep coming back?

HobokensFury · March 2013

Wow. Just wow. That's all I've got that PP don't already cover.

s-aries8990 · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_last-names-on-invitations?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:1ca23b20-4c36-4425-98a3-9addded85e18Post:d1cd48ec-e4d2-4b30-80b7-09e17b7a2d1c">Re: Last Names on Invitations...</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow. Keep on bashing me, go right ahead. Like I said,<strong> you don't even know the whole story.</strong> But at this point, I wouldn't want to share it with people like you.
Posted by alyelcalil[/QUOTE]

You're right, we don't. But, no one was bashing you - they did not say mean things about you, they just told you that having a PPD re-do is in poor etiquette. You just FEEL attacked because no one validated your idea.

Ditto PP's - having a fake wedding is in poor taste, but you can do what you want. I figure you might as well wait a few more years and do it for a 5-year anniversary. Then, at least, it will appear to have some "merit" as opposed to a re-do so someone could get insurance/benefits sooner.

For every action, there is a consequence. Sometimes consequences are good (eating right + exercising = a more healthy you!), but sometimes consequences are not as good (McDonalds x 7days a week = clogged arteries). Getting married at the JOP had some awesome consequences (You're married! Yay! Congrats!!!!) BUT, there are some things you gave up (a big wedding celebration). It's just part of being an adult. Sucks, but it's the truth.

I worked 3 jobs in college and studied hard. The consequences:
<ul><li>Job within 8 weeks of graduating</li><li>Summa Cum laude with a 3.975</li><li>Money to spend on Chinese food</li><li>No credit card debt</li><li>No wild party stories to tell my kids</li><li>Stressed to the max</li></ul>So, would I go back to the dorms to party because I didn't get to? No. It's the same type of thing.

banana468 · March 2013

My husband broke his clavicle our junior year of college and had to take an extra semester of classes in order to graduate.

He never got to walk with his class but he still got that diploma and a job.   Should we tell him to go walk now with the cap and gown because he didn't get to do this before?

We don't know the entire story but we can only advise based on etiquette and facts.

BTW, you can't tell others how to post.   It's against the rules and only makes you look like you're only here to hear what you want to hear.

smile4red · March 2013

Just leave out your last name if your parents are paying for it. We did the same thing but having big ceremony in June this year. Example below:

Mr & Mrs. Jones
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Julie Ann
to
Mark Ethan Wilkes
then you add date and time and all that stuff

Hope this helps!!

alyelcalil · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_last-names-on-invitations?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:1ca23b20-4c36-4425-98a3-9addded85e18Post:118512fe-ec64-4ddb-bcf1-166faae78b04">Re: Last Names on Invitations...</a>:
[QUOTE]Just leave out your last name if your parents are paying for it. We did the same thing but having big ceremony in June this year. Example below: Mr & Mrs. Jones request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their daughter Julie Ann to Mark Ethan Wilkes then you add date and time and all that stuff Hope this helps!!
Posted by smile4red[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>Wait, someone who is trying to help me? Hey, thanks, honestly! I appreciate it. They're not paying for it though. My mom wants to pay for a lot of it; of course trying to tell her no is like trying to tell a 2 year old no :) I love her to pieces. But I have a step father as well as a father, I would have no clue even then what I would write lol.</div><div>
</div><div>PS: Be careful, they might jump on you for that post lol.</div>

alyelcalil · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_last-names-on-invitations?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:1ca23b20-4c36-4425-98a3-9addded85e18Post:344d3820-ddf8-4cb7-b703-aba3109d89d0">Re: Last Names on Invitations...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Last Names on Invitations... : I tried to help you. I gave you the correct wording for a reaffirmation of vows. Where is my thank you?
Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]

<div>My apologies for that, I see that you did now. I probably missed it because of the other comments telling me how inappropriate I am. Thanks though! Really! I mean that with no sarcasm.</div>

Sierra524 · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_last-names-on-invitations?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:1ca23b20-4c36-4425-98a3-9addded85e18Post:233206bf-ad04-4ffc-8b26-ab3f77c34b70">Re: Last Names on Invitations...</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm sorry but I disagree. <strong>I never got to wear the white gown, have bridesmaids...I didn't have the experience of a wedding that every girl wants</strong>. I PLAN on having a ceremony, we never got to give our family a ceremony or reception and not to be rude but <strong>I really don't care what your opinion on that is</strong>. I just wanted input on the invitations. Just the invitations. Ok, so I won't call it a renewal, whatever, that is fine.<strong> But I am still having the experience.</strong> I don't see why I don't deserve that? And, in my eyes, it is quite fitting to call it a renewal...<strong>because we had a bumpy first year of marriage</strong> lol. We have resolved our problems, things are slowly getting better, we love each other, so I think of it as kind of a fresh start. So to speak. Renewing our love. What is wrong with that?
Posted by alyelcalil[/QUOTE]

You already got married. You gave up the white dress & the BRIDESmaids when you became a WIFE in december 2011. Point being...cant be a bride when you are already a wife. You gave up the traditional wedding experience when you decided to elope. You just want a PPD. Thats extremely rude. Please dont tell me you plan on having a shower also?

Many newlyweds have a bumpy first year of marriage. Its a huge adjustment & a completely new life! That doesnt mean you get a wedding re-do!

As far as not wanting opinions...you posted on a public forum, of course you're going to get opinions! Even if you dont really want them.

Last Names on Invitations...

Re: Last Names on Invitations...

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