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Minnesota-Minneapolis and St. Paul

Program wording

We are having a bit of a hard time coming up with the wording of our "thank you to our parents" special message that is often included in programs. My parents are wonderful, have been amazing in all the wedding planning, have a marriage you can dream of. FI parents are divorced, father is supportive, mother and step-dad are very selfish people and only yesterday committed to coming to the wedding. We want my parents and FFIL to have recognition, and realize that we can't just exclude FMIL, but unfortunately I also don't feel it's appropriate to say something about "thanks for all of your love and support and showing us what marriage and family is all about", because FMIL sure doesn't fit this message, and I don't want her to think she did. I'm probably overthinking this, and just have to suck it up and realize that FMIL will probably end up being praised like she does't deserve, but want to be sure to give my parents and FFIL the recognition they deserve too. If I can keep it together, I'll probably give a special toast/very brief speech of thanks to my parents at the reception, but wondering how to express this appropriately in the program too? Suggestions?

Re: Program wording

  • edited December 2011
    IMHO, I think if you're going to say anything in the program, you need to include your FMIL and her husband. Not that you have to specifically name everyone, but use a blanket statement like "our parents" like you mentioned. That way no one is left out. I just think it'd make things awkward if it was obvious that you'd excluded them. I'm not being judgemental - we're in the same boat with FI's mom/stepdad and dad. :(
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  • wittyschaffywittyschaffy member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    You can subtly change what you've got to thank the people who have loved and supported you as you made plans for the beginning of your new life as a couple.  It is vague and only applies to the people who actually did those things.  Something like,

    "Marriage is a journey that begins when two individual lives join together and set off on a path as one.  We want to thank those in our lives who have loved, supported, nurtured, and encouraged us as we set out on the journey that lead us to this celebration today.  With our deepest love and sincerest gratitude, rachi and groom"
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_minnesota-minneapolis-st-paul_program-wording-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:81Discussion:dd89de5b-4cec-4595-bd4c-41950820fe89Post:d1ed817a-11e2-483d-84e7-42c679e52067">Re: Program wording</a>:
    [QUOTE]"Marriage is a journey that begins when two individual lives join together and set off on a path as one.  We want to thank those in our lives who have loved, supported, nurtured, and encouraged us as we set out on the journey that lead us to this celebration today.  With our deepest love and sincerest gratitude, rachi and groom"
    Posted by wittyschaffy[/QUOTE]

    That is great!  I say use this exactly!!  = )
  • nordkenordke member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011

    Oh yeah, I really like that, Witty :) I realize that we can't specifically exclude FMIL and her husband, so I really like the wording of this. Unfortunately FMIL probably still won't get that this doesn't really pertain to her, but oh well. I just may have to steal this ;)

  • wittyschaffywittyschaffy member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Steal away!  She'll never know that it doesn't apply to her but the people who know she's been a real pain in the butt will. :-P
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_minnesota-minneapolis-st-paul_program-wording-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:81Discussion:dd89de5b-4cec-4595-bd4c-41950820fe89Post:d1ed817a-11e2-483d-84e7-42c679e52067">Re: Program wording</a>:
    [QUOTE]You can subtly change what you've got to thank the people who have loved and supported you as you made plans for the beginning of your new life as a couple.  It is vague and only applies to the people who actually did those things.  Something like, "Marriage is a journey that begins when two individual lives join together and set off on a path as one.  We want to thank those in our lives who have loved, supported, nurtured, and encouraged us as we set out on the journey that lead us to this celebration today.  With our deepest love and sincerest gratitude, rachi and groom"
    Posted by wittyschaffy[/QUOTE]

    I wish we would've thought of this 2.5 months ago!  I didn't want to thank MIL for anything, since she didn't lift a finger to do anything besides host the RD, which we thanked her for at that event.  It's my parents who went above and beyond for us, and I made special acknowledgement of them in my toast at the reception.

    You know, in her weird way, your FMIL has shown you what marriage is about by displaying what it's not.  Her bad example shined a light on what great people the rest of your parents are.
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