In need of some help.

Re: In need of some help.

• lindseyann410 member

  

  February 2012 edited February 2012

  Slow your roll.  It sounds like it will be awhile before you can get married, and a lot can change between now and then.  If you plan too far ahead, you may regret some of your decisions later.

  
  

  Maybe instead of worring about colors and wedding party and other details that aren't necessary right now, you could try being more concerned about getting yourselves in a good place financially to afford this wedding.  It doesn't make sense to plan a wedding you can't afford.

  
  

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• Madisonpenny member

  

  February 2012

  I agree with PPs. You don't even need to worry about a WP until about 6-8 months before your wedding and like PP said, it sounds like awhile yet before you'll be having a wedding.

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• RamonaFlowers member

  

  February 2012

  There needs to be a "Wait until we're actually actively planning the wedding to even think about who we want in the WP" option in your poll. Because that's seriously the only answer at this point.

  
  

  *I felt sorry for my husband before I met him. Take a number.*
  

  
  

  
  

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• AbbynBrian13

  

  February 2012

  you are thinking way too far ahead!! Wait till your actually going to get married and have a date set untill you think about those things!

  

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• BunnyChii member

  

  February 2012

  You're right - the major problem is not the color. Neither is it your wedding party. The main issue right now is being able to actually afford a wedding. That's your priority - everything else can wait.

  
  
  

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• AMYM312 member

  

  February 2012

  Not the type of question I was expecting when I saw "in need of some serious help".

  

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• RebeccaB88 member

  

  February 2012

  Wow. When I read your title, I thought you really did have a serious problem.
  
  OP, don't even think about getting married until you can afford not only a wedding, but to live together and support yourselves afterwards.  It's the adult thing to do.
  
  One month after FI and I put my ring on layaway, he got laid off.  That was in May of 2010.  He just started working at a regular job last November.  That was a long time for us to have our wedding plans shelved, but we did it.  I'm not able to support us on our own, so the most logical, adult thing to do was to wait until he was more secure again.  It was TOUGH.  I mean...there were lots of times we wondered if we were strong enough to survive it.  We spent a lot of time apart (weeks at a time) because he was trying to get work.  But that's what being an adult is all about - doing the tough thing sometimes, because it's the right thing.  I still don't have a ring, even though he's working again, because he's still paying off bills and straightening expenses out.  But we do know that a wedding is in our future again, and we'll be able to talk about it and start making plans before too long.  The wait was worth it, and it will be for you, I promise.  You're still engaged without a ring. 

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• Avion22 member

  

  February 2012

  I think OP really DOES need serious help, just not for the reason she thinks she does....

  
  

  Sorry, I don't mean that to sound harsh Cuppycake, but everyone else is right.   Step one in wedding planning is to set a budget.  After that you can look at dates, guest lists, venues, colors, attendents, etc.    Until you are able to set a budget, then it doesn't make any sense to even think about anything else.

  
  

  However, please keep CGMr's post in mind.  Weddings don't need to be extravagant, and they don't need to cost a lot of money.   The list of what you "have" to have to get married is pretty small and inexpensive, and the rest is truly optional.   The wedding industry likes to make us all THINK that we have to have the extra stuff, but the truth is that we don't.  

  

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• blgrout

  

  February 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_in-need-of-some-serious-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:2526b414-0c59-4129-80be-9cef99666dcaPost:e4d5eb9c-147a-41d0-a343-78bff82a4289">Re: In need of some serious help.</a>:
  [QUOTE]Wow. When I read your title, I thought you really did have a serious problem. OP, don't even think about getting married until you can afford not only a wedding, but to live together and support yourselves afterwards.  It's the adult thing to do. One month after FI and I put my ring on layaway, he got laid off.  That was in May of 2010.  He just started working at a regular job last November.  That was a long time for us to have our wedding plans shelved, but we did it.  I'm not able to support us on our own, so the most logical, adult thing to do was to wait until he was more secure again.  It was TOUGH.  I mean...there were lots of times we wondered if we were strong enough to survive it.  We spent a lot of time apart (weeks at a time) because he was trying to get work.  But that's what being an adult is all about - doing the tough thing sometimes, because it's the right thing.  I still don't have a ring, even though he's working again, because he's still paying off bills and straightening expenses out.  But we do know that a wedding is in our future again, and we'll be able to talk about it and start making plans before too long.  The wait was worth it, and it will be for you, I promise.  You're still engaged without a ring. 
  Posted by RebeccaB88[/QUOTE]<div>
  </div><div>Truth.  My FI and I waited more than  2 years to get engaged because I had cancer and racked up lots of medical debt.  We wanted to get married so bad, but couldn't afford to (hell, we could barely afford our rent, and my medical bills).  Once we were financially stable and my health was intact,  we were able to make plans.  And lots has changed between 3 years ago and now, and a few of the people that I would have wanted in my bridal party then aren't even a part of my life now.</div><div>
  </div><div>Get to the point where you have a date and a place, and then start worrying about your wedding party.  A lot may change between now and then.
  
  </div>

  

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• rlavach member

  

  February 2012

  Like PP mentioned, take it slow. This really isn't the time to be worrying about this. We waited until about 8 months out to ask our wedding party & even with that we've had some movement, people dropping out, people coming back & all of that nonsense. Imagine how much worse it will be the further out you ask someone. Save yourself by concentrating on saving up money to get married. You'll be better off in the end.

  

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• CuppycakeLovesPuddin

  

  March 2012

  I understand the slow down stuff. But since posting this, Jonathan has proposed. I don't see why I couldn't have started planning my wedding before getting the ring. We've been together for four years, and he had told me to start planning. In a society that is obsessed with weddings, especially getting married at a young age, I thought I would get some actual help. I thought this website would help make things less stressfull, not have people tell me to slow down when there are people out there getting married after 2 months of knowing each other.
  
  Thanks.

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• CuppycakeLovesPuddin

  

  March 2012

  the title may have been overly dramatic. But it's a wedding website. What else could it have been.

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