We are not having a ringbearer or flower girl in our wedding. None of our friends or family members have young daughters and my fiance and I don't feel close enough to any families with young sons so we opted not to have either.
As more family members find this out, they seem shocked that we don't have a flower girl (surprisingly the lack of ring bearer isn't an issue). How do I handle this when I'm fed up with people asking why and telling me on what I'm missing out on by not having one?
Re: Is it a crime not to have a flower girl?
I didn't have any attendants but even if I had had BMs, I wouldn't had had a FG. As a teen, I used to joke that it was because I didn't want anyone at the wedding 'cuter than me.' But, really, I just don't see the point. I also wouldn't want to chance a super young kid not cooperating the day of.
I was actually a FG around age 4, and I refused to walk down the aisle and I was screaming and crying so my mom had to carry me down the aisle and everyone started laughing and my mom started crying because everyone was laughing. I don't remember it obviously but it was very traumatic for my mom. :-(
Just tell them you want to keep the WP small (if this is true), that you don't know anyone with a young daughter who you're close to and you don't see the point of putting a young girl in the WP just for the sake of having a FG. If all else fails, just tell people you don't want one and you don't want to keep discussing it. I don't see why people are so offended - GL with this! :-)
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We didn't have one either. We didn't want to ask a child to be in the wedding just for the sake of a photo just like DH and I didn't get married for photos.
Just tell people you're not having children in the WP and that the decision's final. If they continue to push, tell them you're done discussing it, and walk away....hang up the phone.....get off your blackberry. They'll get the message.
FWIW: Two of my 3 children are married, and neither had children in the WP. It was lovely. I'm also a church organist, and I see far, far fewer weddings with children in them than weddings with kiddies on parade.
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Posted by mbcdefg[/QUOTE]
<div>HAHAHA. Too funny.</div><div>
</div><div>People are weird about these things. There's a lot I'm not doing and people get horrified by some of it. Not having FG/RB, no veil, no limo, no garter toss, no stag and doe.</div>
I think your family would want to lock me up - we are not having a wedding party at all.
They're being silly. Muster all the sarcasm that you can, and remember the adage to never work with animals or children.
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Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
Anyway, I am going to have them because I have young cousins and I LOVE kids! If they "mess up" it will only be cute, and it is really my favorite part of every wedding.
That being said, it is obviously a personal choice. No one (except creepy me who loves the kids haha) will most likely even NOTICE that you don't have them. Seriously.
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[QUOTE]Anyway, I am going to have them because I have young cousins and I LOVE kids! If they "mess up" it will only be cute, and it is really my favorite part of every wedding. That being said, it is obviously a personal choice. No one (except creepy me who loves the kids haha) will most likely even NOTICE that you don't have them. Seriously.
Posted by lindseroo[/QUOTE]
lindeseroo: just because someone doesn't want kids in their WP, it doesn't mean that they don't like kids.
I love kids. I have 3 of my own, plus two children-in-law that I love. I have been a teacher for a long, long time, and I teach preschoolers. I didn't have kids in my WP.
My DIL is a second grade teacher and loves kids. She didn't have kids in her WP. My DD was a kindergarten teacher who adores children and is happiest when she can interact with them. She didn't have kids in her WP.
We all believe that there are occasions that are appropriate for children, and there are occasions that are appropriate for adults.
But we still love kids.
what is stag and doe?
Second, my church doesn't allow anything to be thrown on the floor, so the FGs would just be walking down the ailse, not spreading flower petals.
Third, the church bridal room is tiny and the last thing we need in there is a couple of little kids running around with them and more people (their moms) crowding the room.
Fourth, we are having an adults-only reception and don't want to have to make an exeption for FGs.
My advice is to firm on the issue from the beginning. If you tell people you are considering FGs, then they assume they can talk you into it.
Thank you all so much for your encouragement! It's so nice to know I'm not the only one not having children in the wedding party! Thanks again!