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How do you say "I'm not paying for this"?

That was sort of a crass title... lol.

Anyway, we're inviting about 50 people to our MB wedding.  I'm paying for 100% of the wedding, and we're making a lot of compromises to pay for it.  I can't afford a rehearsal dinner (nor can our families) or anything major outside the wedding and reception for 50 people.

I'd like to hang out with everyone, but I don't know how to say "let's go to dinner" without saying "don't worry about bringing your wallet".  Any thoughts?

I liked the "beer and pizza" in a suite idea...  Should I just put a basic schedule on the website?  E.G. - We'll be at this restaurant for dinner on Friday night if you want to join us?

Thanks!

Re: How do you say "I'm not paying for this"?

  • aerinpegadrakaerinpegadrak member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    We didn't advertise our schedule outside of the events that we were hosting, mainly because we didn't want to be locked down into an entire itinerary in advance, and we knew our guests wouldn't.  We basically spoke to everyone in advance about their travel plans so we knew who was going to be in town when, and then kept our phones on.  Mostly, people contacted us when they wanted to get together, and we made plans from there.  Of our 40 wedding guests, there were only about half a dozen we didn't see outside of the wedding day.
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  • smokeybaileysmokeybailey member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I assume you are not requiring your wedding party to be in a day early for a rehearasl.  Correct?  If not, no need to host one.  I'd just let people know that you'll be doing X and they can drop by.  I think having some cold beer and pizza in your room and telling people they can swing by is fine.  Or even meeting in the lobby bar or something could work.
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  • edited December 2011
    I told my particularly chatty aunts that we were planning on having dinner at XXX the night before the wedding and anyone in town was invited to join us. That worked well for us.
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  • MizLynnMizLynn member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011

    I was struggling with this in my own way the other day. For me, it was about hair and makeup for my BMs. I'm not requiring it, but I can't really afford to pay for it for all of them either. Ultimately, I said 'right, I've booked a hair/makeup artist and these are her prices.'

    I felt that was a good way to say that I wasn't picking up the tab without having to come out and say it and risk sounding rude.

    So maybe you could say something like 'if you'd like to meet up and hang out, we'll be at _____ restaurant from ___ to ____. They specialise in ________ cuisine and their dishes range from $ ___ to $_____.'

    HTH

  • edited December 2011
    Thanks, ladies!!! 

    We only have one person standing up on each side, so I figured we could take them out for brunch the morning after the wedding.  I never realized how happy I'd be to only have one attendant, but it makes things WAY easier for me.  (We purchased her dress at Banana Republic for 50% off, only one extra person getting ready with me, etc!)


  • edited December 2011
    just tell your guests to stop by the suite (or wherever) to mingle with you, FI, and family...and like you said have pizza and beer for guests who stopped by.

    DH and I paid for our wedding as well, and we told our families to stop by the suite for some food and drinks (Jason's Deli, pizza, and beer)....we didn't do any type of lavish announcement or anything like that....and when it was all said and done all but 4 guests show up cuz they weren't in town yet.
  • edited December 2011
    We are going to the Tournament of Kings at the Excalibur the night before.  I wanted to do this last time we were there, but we had one person in the group that refused to go, so we went to Chris Angel instead and I was disapointed.  Needless to say, I said its my wedding and the night before I want to go to this show.  On our Wedsite we stated:
     We would be going to X show on Thursday night.  If anyone would like to attend this show with us, please let Patty (my mom) know so she can get you the group rate of XXXX amount.

    So far this has worked out great, not inculding us we have 11 going and still have a month left for others to decide.
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