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Second Weddings

What to do for vow renewal ceremony..

OK I've been posting on the regular wedding boards and getting nothing but rude comments from soon-to-be brides on the fact that we're already married and no one even knows the reasons we eloped (everyone thinks I did it for a "money ride"--really?! Do you even know what a Marine makes?! The first 5 ranks get paid less than a full-time McDonald's employee!) and I really don't care to explain it all to everyone.

But we got married in the courthouse in Hawaii last fall. Both of our families are on the East Coast and couldn't make it (round trip tickets are around $600 not around holidays). So we decided to have a vow renewal ceremony this summer so that our families could be there. I've been planning this since November and have everything done or set except for the ceremony part. Are any of you having a vow renewal ceremony? If so, how is it going?! We were going to have the Catholic priest perform it and make it more spiritual, but he's not able to because it's an outdoor wedding. Any ideas on what we can do??

Re: What to do for vow renewal ceremony..

  • edited December 2011

    1st of all, please accept apologizes for rude brides.  I feel your pain, which is why I love this & the 40plus board - everyone is fantastic here!

    2nd of all, I DO understand the military pay and reasons for eloping!

    3rd - Marriage renewal sounds perfect for your situation.  Since everyone is on the east coast that's half the battle.  I think you have lots of options!  You can do a venue anywhere...barn, park, small chapel, botanical?   I assume you wanted a catholic ceremony for the religious blessing.  I've never heard of a priest being unable to marry because it's outside, then again, I'm not catholic.  

    The renewal is what you make of it - it can be as spiritual as you wish even if a priest isn't performing.   Good luck!!

    Created by Wedding Favors
  • edited December 2011
    We already have the location. It's at my dad's house. He lives in the woods, there's a lake, pond, and tons of things for people to do over the weekend (most guests are camping--the younger ones anyway!). We're having the ceremony overlooking the pond, then the reception is at the pavilion by the pool.

    I saw on another girl's post something about a "wedding box." Just Googled it and it's a box that you place 2 letters in (one from each to the other), 2 glasses, and a bottle of wine. This is to be opened on the 5th anniversary. I really love this idea! I actually made a box when we first married to put some things in it, and it has 2 intercrossed rings--so I was thinking about using this :-)

    I'm also trying to figure out if we could incorporate our grandmothers (my mother left when I was little and his has been in and out of his life, so right now she's out) as "officiants." We were thinking about having them say something about our life, give us a life lesson or something, explain the wedding box, and whatnot. Good idea or weird?!
  • edited December 2011
    Never heard of the wedding box but great idea!  And I think it's appropriate to include grandparents - especially if they've been more of parental figures in your lives.
    Created by Wedding Favors
  • Lisa50Lisa50 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    *raises hand*  As the token Catholic on the board, here's some info:

    First, Catholic priests do not perform weddings outside of a Church. 

    And ... since you are already married, a Catholic priest would not perform a wedding ceremony anyway.  You may likely get the marriage blessed in the Church, though (can't remember exactly what that ceremony/ritual is called).  Your parish priest can give you all the info on that.

    Good luck!
  • edited December 2011
    Consecration.  (recovering Catholic)
    And what Lisa said is true, that is a Catholic rule. ~Donna
  • Lisa50Lisa50 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_vow-renewal-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:a7af4710-7018-47df-97e6-61760a930f70Post:25f7cd26-2897-4436-9ea3-f4394483e2e5">Re: What to do for vow renewal ceremony..</a>:
    [QUOTE]Consecration.  (recovering Catholic) And what Lisa said is true, that is a Catholic rule. ~Donna
    Posted by right1thistime[/QUOTE]

    Thanks!  I was sitting here and could not think of that word.  You are recovering quite nicely.  ;)

    Anyhoo, OP ... the Church doesn't budge on that.
  • Avion22Avion22 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    I totally get the reasons for getting married early.  My fiance and I are considering doing the same thing (I'm AD stationed overseas, and it would make a lot of sense to do that).  And yeah, a LOT of brides on the other boards don't understand AT ALL that signing a legal document in a courthouse doesn't satisfy the spiritual ceremony that most of us want to share with our families, and that being in the military (along with many other possible situations) sometimes means doing the legal part and the spiritual part at different times.

    For your ceremony....yeah, if you want a Catholic wedding, you might not be able to have it outside.  A lot of practicing Catholic priests won't perform a ceremony outside of a church.  But there are still many Christian ministers who will perform ceremonies outside, and will incorporate very similar traditions.  Okay, obviously there wil be no mass and no communion, but you can still have prayers and music and a Christian ceremony with a minister of a different Christian faith.

    As far as how to word it....I'm not sure.  I'm assuming that most of your guests know that you are already legally married.  I would just emphasize that "on this day, you make your commitment BEFORE GOD and in front of your families."  
    DSC_9275
  • edited December 2011
    us too were married by a judge, for difficult reasons as well. on our invites I put the date and time of the ceremony and used to the words "united in the sacrement of marriage."

    I am a Catholic and had lots of questions about this, so before we met with the priest, I looked up all these questions of catholicweddinghelp.com, this site was amazing and completely answered our questions.
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