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Wedding Etiquette Forum
Karenski51
member
invitation - groom's parents not on invitation
I'm the divorced mother of the groom. I wasn't asked about the invitation before they were printed. Not only didn't I get an invitation (I was told it must have gotten lost in the mail) but to my surprise I wasn't even listed. I was asked to to make the rehersal dinner, it will be for at least 20 people, I thought I would be at least on the invitation. I don't know if my ex is contributing anything to the wedding, if that matters.
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Re: invitation - groom's parents not on invitation
You can offer to host the RD, your name can go on that invitation.
ETA: Why did you think your name would be on the invitations?
I would want an invitation just to keep, in your place
this comes up alot on here - im genuinely curious as to why parents of the groom get so upset about not being listed on the invite.
all that aside, it was not proper for you to be asked to host/pay for the RD.
[QUOTE]I'm the divorced mother of the groom. I wasn't asked about the invitation before they were printed. Not only didn't I get an invitation (I was told it must have gotten lost in the mail) but to my surprise I wasn't even listed. I was asked to to make the rehersal dinner, it will be for at least 20 people, I thought I would be at least on the invitation. I don't know if my ex is contributing anything to the wedding, if that matters.
Posted by Karenski51[/QUOTE]
<div>I don't understand why you're upset about not being included on the invitation. From what you've said, you aren't hosting it. Put your name on the RD invitations.</div><div>
</div><div>Oh, and if you don't want to make the RD, there's nothing wrong with pizza or bbq or something along those lines. Also, no one can force you to host it. Whoever asked you shouldn't have done so. You're welcome to offer to host it, and you can host it within your means. </div>
but again, why is yoru name on the invite important? i hear on here so much things like "they said it was a slap in the face to not be listed". im genuinely curious to hear from a MOG why the name on an invite is so important. because honestly, if i had a son, i wouldnt expect to be listed or be offended if i wasnt.
[QUOTE]I was asked to host the RD. I was told there ill be at least 20 people. I don't ever remember getting a wedding invitation where both parents weren't listed.
Posted by Karenski51[/QUOTE]
I've never seen a wedding invitation where BOTH sets of parents WERE listed
my mom and dad
request the pleasure of your company
at the marriage of their daughter
Me
to
D
son of
Ds mom
Ds father and step-mom
My mom is balking (my parents are paying), but I just think it's a nice touch to acknowledge them. I don't think the way I have it worded leaves any doubt as to who is hosting, if that's what people care about.
That said, I don't know that the groom's parents should ever EXPECT to be included on the invitation for an event they are not hosting.
OP, you mention your ex and how you dont know if he's contributing - is the issue that your ex and his new wife were listed on the invite but you werent? im trying to figure out why you mentioned you were divorced and why you mention your ex. if they were listed and you werent, then i can totally see why you are upset.
My Chart
In general, I think its nice to acknowledge the groom's parents on the invite since they are his parents, but it is not required. And as the invitations are already printed, there's nothing that can be done. So do your best to pretend it doesn't bother you.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: invitation - groom's parents not on invitation : Take some sidewalk chalk and write your name outside the ceremony venue by a photo of you and your son. That way everyone will know who you are! You seem very worried about getting some sort of recognition.
Posted by ILoveMilkDuds[/QUOTE]
Love this.
[QUOTE]My ex and new wife weren't listed either. I asked the bride and groom what he was supplying and I was told nothing. Originally I was also told my ex told our son his wife would not be attending, but you could send him an invite any way. He probably wasn't coming.
Posted by Karenski51[/QUOTE]
<div>Honestly, its not your business what he is contributing. Is there something else going on here? This has nothing to do with your name being listed or not.</div>
My Chart
WHY do you think you should be on the wedding invitation? You haven't answered that question
People get all bent out of shape because it's a wedding, but please try to remember that the same rules of hosting any other social event apply. If you're not the host, your name doesn't need to be on the invitation. Everyone knows you're his mother, and I'm not sure what else you expect them to do to highlight that.
Planning!.....Married!
[QUOTE]I really want to include Ds parents names on our invitation, like this: my mom and dad request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their daughter Me to D son of Ds mom Ds father and step-mom My mom is balking (my parents are paying), but I just think it's a nice touch to acknowledge them. I don't think the way I have it worded leaves any doubt as to who is hosting, if that's what people care about. That said, I don't know that the groom's parents should ever EXPECT to be included on the invitation for an event they are not hosting.
Posted by Sing2phins[/QUOTE]
That is exactly how our invitations are worded. We wanted my fiance's parents on there, but listed them after his name. My parents names were first implying they are hosting the wedding. I think if it is clear my parents are hosting there is no shame in putting his parents names on after his name, son of...