Wedding Etiquette Forum

Last-Minute Guest problem.. help!

So here is my situation...

Our wedding is relatively soon.. May 16th, so in 3 weeks.

Our wedding venue REQUIRES that we have at least 100 adult guests attend the reception (i.e. we will be PAYING for 100 adults no matter how many attend).

I have been trying to get the replies as quickly as possible, but after some bad luck and out-of-town people who hadn't responded, am just getting some now.

Right now we are a little short, and will only end up with like 97 guests instead of 100.

It seems a shame to pay for empty spaces (considering they are $90 a pop!), so I am wondering if I can get away with inviting some last-minute guests.

Obviously I would give them a new reply card with a later respond-by date (however our cut-off is May 6th)..so it's cutting it close.

I know that it is super last-minute, but I am wondering if this is okay if the person we are adding on is NOT someone who is close to us at all..  They are an old friend of my father's, who he hasn't kept super close with over the years. They are someone who will not expect to be invited at all, and they don't talk to anyone else we invited so they won't know that we didn't send all the invitations late.

How should I handle the situation? Is there a way to tactfully invite them, or should I just forget it?  I don't want to seem rude or offend anyone, but at the same time it seems a shame to waste 3 perfectly good spaces that we have to pay for anyway!

Re: Last-Minute Guest problem.. help!

  • If it’s the fact of the wasted dinners that is bothering you and not that you want these guests there (which it seems like it is), why not invite, through word of mouth, people who you KNOW wouldn’t be offended at the late invitation?  If this was me, I’d let my little sister bring a couple of friends, or tell a my close single friends that they’re welcome to bring a date, or even invite a couple not-close friends who were fine with not being invited but I know would be fun.  I think the main problem here is that the person you want to invite isn’t close with you, so you don’t know how he’d take the late invitation.  Just find people who you know would like to come whether or not they were part of the first round, and invite them!
  • I'd be offended to get an invite 3 weeks before the wedding.  It's only 3 plates, forget about it.

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  • if it is a friend of your fathers, and you think your father would like him to be there, then let your father invite him by word of mouth.

    i like the photographer / dj / limo driver meal upgrade idea.
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  • 3 weeks out, I wouldn't be keen on receiving an invitation.  I actually don't have a problem with B-lists, as long as they are done at least 4 or 5 weeks out.  It's only 3, so I'd just forget it. 

    If it was someone I was friends with and her wedding was going to be very small with only family...and then she had room to invite me, I'd be pleased.  But that would probably only happen once in a blue moon and that isn't what's happening here.
  • Wow I didn't even think about the gift issue. That is a very valid point. I definitely don't want them to think that I only want a gift or only see them as a seat filler!  It's not that I didn't want them to come, it's more that I would be inviting them for my father because they are his friends.

    I guess it is only 3 people (hopefully!) and I should just forget about it.  Not the end of the world!

    Thanks for the tips!
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