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MOH asking MOB for help with Bridal Shower

LLJ217LLJ217
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Anyone have any advice on how to broach the subject of asking the MOB to help with the costs of her daughter's shower?

I am the MOH and along with the rest of the bridesmaids we are hosting the shower at my house. The MOB lives a few states away and I don't know if she realizes that traditionally, the MOB throws the shower, or at least helps. I am nervous to ask her if she is planning on chipping in, and I don't want to ask the bride to ask her, nor do I want to pass the buck to another bridesmaid.

My bride has no sisters, aunts, female cousins and the grandmother is no longer living.

Any suggestions?

Strapped MOH
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Re: MOH asking MOB for help with Bridal Shower

  • louisvillebride21louisvillebride21
    5000 Comments
    edited May 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_moh-asking-mob-bridal-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6c6a0c1c-8580-46ee-8513-77ad06c9e69ePost:7cb01752-6891-4779-8ddd-6106aea73a95">MOH asking MOB for help with Bridal Shower</a>:
    [QUOTE]Anyone have any advice on how to broach the subject of asking the MOB to help with the costs of her daughter's shower? I am the MOH and along with the rest of the bridesmaids we are hosting the shower at my house. The MOB lives a few states away and I don't know if she realizes that traditionally, the MOB throws the shower, or at least helps. I am nervous to ask her if she is planning on chipping in, and I don't want to ask the bride to ask her, nor do I want to pass the buck to another bridesmaid. My bride has no sisters, aunts, female cousins and the grandmother is no longer living. Any suggestions? Strapped MOH
    Posted by LLJ217[/QUOTE]

    Sorry, nope. MOB absolutly does not host the shower. You plan the shower you can afford or you don't throw one. They aren't required.
    "In the old days my ass would be in your back yard picking cotton, so excuse me if I don't put much stock in how f*cking awesome the old days were." -Nuggs
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  • Mrs.B6302007Mrs.B6302007 member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited May 2010
    Only the hostesses who have agreed to throw the shower together should expect to contribute. If you and the BMs agreed to host, it's on all of you.  If you're the only hostess, it's on you. You can't ask her mom for money.
    The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
    "So I sing a song of love, Julia"
    06.10.10
    BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
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  • andy71781andy71781 member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    Are the other BMs interested in helping out?  Furthermore what needs to get paid for?  Can you scale back on food/drinks/guest list?  I agree with PP re: no duty for the MOB - my mom had no part in my shower - it was all on the women planning it for me.
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  • pumpkinpumpkinpumpkinpumpkin
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    It's considered pretty poor etiquette for the MOB to host/throw a shower. If she contributed financially, she'd be part host.
    image
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  • stillundecided4stillundecided4 member
    100 Comments
    Ditto on not bringing the bride into the shower talk. My MOH complained to me constantly about money issues with my shower. I wanted to say "then stop buying useless crap I don't even care about and neither do the guests."  She spent tons on decorations, favors, candles, centerpieces... the list goes on. BTW, I did appreciate the final product.

    Either way, you shouldn't have to spend a ton of money on the shower especially if it's at your house. Keep it simple. The bride should appreciate anything you can do.
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