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May 2012 Weddings

FMIL Vent

We have had a LOT of "no" rsvp's that we thought would be yes's. Since both of our mom's bitched in the beginning about not being able to invite enough people, we told them both they could invite about 20 more people if they wanted.

So my mom gets back to us, and says there is no one else they want to invite. Wtf?? In September before the STD's went out, she was flat out POed that she was limited to 30 people. And 20 more invites is like a whole set of friends, you know? But, whatever- Not going to force her to invite people.

My FMIL did want to invite more people, and threw in a comment like "Oh, there's some people we're inviting to P's wedding that we didn't get to invite to yours- So let's add them." P is FI's brother/ BM that is getting married in August. So while I don't think she was trying to be mean, I kind of felt like she was implying we were being stingy with the invites, too (we were trying to invite about 150, and ended up inviting 188, for the record- So not a tiny invite list by any means, I don't think). 

But then the thing that really ticked me off is this: She owns her own business, and wanted to invite a few people at the office. She had no specific number, but said it would be about 5 and to just send an invite to the office and she would show it to who needed to see it. I was VERY paranoid about this plan, but went with it- Long story short, 10 of her employees want to come instead of 5. With all of the no rsvp's, not a huge deal, but still kind of left a bad taste in my mouth. 

So now, on her new list, she has included one of the ladies that works in the office, just because she's kind of snobby/ etiquettey and she thinks she would like to have her own invite.

Wtf? We already sent a joint invite to the office. Honestly, our extra invite supplies are running low (and FMIL knows this)- If this lady is so effing special she needs her own invite, why wasn't she included on the original list?? 

I don't know- I just feel like FMIL is being kind of thoughtless about the whole thing. 

And over my dead body is that woman getting her very own invite.

Anyway.

Sidenote- Why am I so full of vents recently?? I can't figure out if my fuse is getting shorter the closer we get to the day, or if the people around me are just as annoying as I think they are.

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Re: FMIL Vent

  • WOW! I know the feeling though my FMIL compares several things about our wedding to FBIL's that was last Sept. It really annoys us! But only thing you can do is suck it up. I think all of our fuses are becoming shorter and shorter! And the little things are getting too us.

    Take a deep breath and try to relax. Sorry she's being a pain!
  • Vent away honey! And they are probably just as annoying as usual, with all that's going on you just don't have the energy to filter the response. LOL It happens to us all !

    The whole invite thing for one person is ridiculoous. I seriously can't believe she'd say that. Then again, maybe it's better to keep the peace now if your FMIL is one of those ladies who's going to bring it up over the next 20 years that so and so had their feelings hurt by not gettiing a wedding invitation.

    Maybe your Mom got the right attitude and that's why she didn't use the extra invites you were giving her.I made certain assumptions on the guest list and included a couple that my parents had been friends with forever. My sisters and I grew up with their kids. My sister and their daughter are best friends. Yet my mother said... oh you invited X+Y. I didn't figure you'd invite them. I'm like Mom their your friends, they've been in my life foerever... why wouldn't I? you know what she said... "becuase this is your day, it should be about the people you want there to celebrate your marriage, not about who I want to come.  It's not my day. I'd expect them to be invited to my birthday party but not your wedding unless you really want them to come."
    I love my mom!

    Hope your next few weeks are drama free!
    Anniversary
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_fmil-mini-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:c2888cd1-7f62-4ea2-876d-bd9539892a00Post:d4b25716-204c-4d81-a654-b792824c5841">Re: FMIL Vent</a>:
    [QUOTE]you know what she said... "becuase this is your day, it should be about the people you want there to celebrate your marriage, not about who I want to come.  It's not my day. I'd expect them to be invited to my birthday party but not your wedding unless you really want them to come." 
    Posted by ronik77[/QUOTE]

    <div>Gah, so jealous!!! My mom actually told me that the wedding wasn't just about me and FI, but it was about the parents, too. I definitely agree that it's about family, but it's NOT about my mom inviting 15 people from one of her church groups that I have never met.</div><div>
    </div><div>At one point she was trying to get a floor length, chiffon, so- light- pink- it- was- nearly- white dress to wear to the wedding. That's a whooole 'nother post ;p</div><div>
    </div><div>
    </div>
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  • Ronik, you have an awesome mom! My mom surprisingly had a similar attitude about the guest list, which was nice. When it came down to making cuts she volunteered her friends first. If you've seen my other posts, you'll know my mom has NOT been this generous in other areas...anyways

    Amanda, I think our fuses are getting shorter, but people are being more annoying at the same time. My FMIL hasn't tried to invite extra people luckily, but she did refuse to send me a list or even answer questions in person about peoples' formal names (ex. is Randy's name Randall? Or just Randy? You never know!) which REALLY frustrated me. I ended up guessing on who had what name and if it was spelled correctly. I was so frustrated with her and I refused to address them informally, because it's rude! She also wouldn't tell me which of FI's cousins are over 18 so they could get their own invite. She just said to send them all on the same one, which I ended up doing reluctantly. WHAT HAPPENED TO ETIQUETTE PEOPLE?!

    If there is anyone out there who has had zero issues with FMIL during this process, I would be floored. We just gotta suck it up and get through it!

    Sorry for adding my own vent lol. 
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  • Can she just give that woman the invite intended for the office?
    Anniversary
  • edited March 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_fmil-mini-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:c2888cd1-7f62-4ea2-876d-bd9539892a00Post:8165f944-ca6d-4d53-9572-0f1b202d62ed">FMIL Vent</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>Sidenote- Why am I so full of vents recently?? I can't figure out if my fuse is getting shorter the closer we get to the day, or if the people around me are just as annoying as I think they are.
    </strong>Posted by amandad18[/QUOTE]

    I wonder the same thing!! Because My FMIL and FBIL drive me insane. But That has been from the beginning I think it is just getting ten times worse!
    Anniversary image
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