Can you decline a shower?

Re: Can you decline a shower?

• jeanna85 member

  

  November 2010 edited December 2011

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_can-decline-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:25e19df5-246b-4ba4-9cb3-b630f7ece730Post:a3ee49de-4f1f-49f4-b0a3-836969ee96d1">Can you decline a shower?</a>:
  [QUOTE]My dilemma! I have 3 sides to my family and then there's the future in-laws. My aunts on my mom's side of the family want to throw me a shower, all of my grandmothers want to throw me a shower, and then my future in-laws want to throw me a shower. Well, my only aunt on my dads side of the family wants to throw me a shower too. This is the shower I want to decline because after the 3 that I'm already going to have her shower will be the most redundant because the guests will have crossed over so many times, I have a big his-hers-and ours family. <strong>How do I tell her thanks but now thanks because I also know for a fact that she CAN NOT afford it and I dont want to hurt her feelings.</strong> Did I mention that she's my aunt by marriage and her and my uncle are separated but I still love her dearly. 
  Posted by MaryEllenTucker[/QUOTE]
  
  You can graciously decline a shower if you want to. I would let her know sooner than later in case she went ahead and started planning it. Is the reason mostly guest cross-over or money? Because saying that she cannot afford it is pretty rude. You don't need to have a fancy shower that's a catered affair, it could be something as simple as cheese and crackers and some punch over her house. Also, if you're really worried about hurting her feelings, let her plan the shower or ask someone else who is throwing you one if they don't mind her co-hosting.

  

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• MaryEllenTucker member

  

  November 2010 edited December 2011

  I'm not being rude at all by saying she cant afford one, I'm being honest. Cheese and crackers would be pushing it and I'm not exaggerating. And  the guest list is the main reason. 

  
  

  Thank yall so much for you help.

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• redheadtmk member

  

  November 2010 edited December 2011

  is there a way she could co-host one of the other showers?  the bride typically helps with the guest lists so is there any way to divide up your guest so they wont be crossed over? 

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• NOLAbridealmost member

  

  November 2010 edited December 2011

  I think you can definitely decline a shower; just make sure that your aunt is an attendee at one of the other showers. 

  
  

  I am in a similar situation, but it's slightly more awkward.  My grandmother's friend who I barely know wants to host a shower for me.  We've explained to her that the wedding is going to be very small; just close friends and close family.  But she's insisting.  I am going to let my mom handle it because I suspect the g-ma's friend wants to host it more as a way to do something nice for my mom than for me. 

  
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