Wedding Etiquette Forum

Can I bend my "bring a date" policy for my brother?

My finance and I decided that we would allow our friends and family to bring dates only if they were in serious relationships. I've had several people ask if they could bring someone, and I've stood by my policy. My reasoning is three fold. I don't want my wedding memories to have random people I may never see again, it's expensive and most of the single guests are friends and would be able dance and have a good time with each other.

My brother who is single and apparently unaware of the policy, announced he would bring his friend Karen as a date to the wedding. I would classify Karen as a strong acquaitance of mine, and she's friendly with many of the guests. When I said no, he couldn't bring her,  my whole family turned on me, saying that the rules shouldn't apply to immediate family.

Now, I like this girl and I think she would be a fun addition to the wedding guest list, I'm just afraid if I bend the rule for my brother I'll have a lot of angry single people on my hands. What should I do?
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Re: Can I bend my "bring a date" policy for my brother?

  • I'd probably let my brother bring a date...
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  • I'd probably bend the rules for my brother. As long as the single people are having a good time I'm sure they won't even notice that you're brother has a date.
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  • Hey...My Fi and I have the same policy, but we are letting my sister (who is single) bring a date....only because she is family!
  • I'm only allowing those in serious relationships, engaged or married to bring a date. However, my brother is single, but since he is my brother, I am allowing him to bring a date.
  • Ditto.  He's your brother. If there is ever a time for exceptions to rules, I think immediate family is it.

    If it makes you feel better, I didn't give many of my guests dates unless they were in serious relationships, but gave my brother one for a floozy/date yet to be determined.

    Doesn't seem right, but he's my big brother....Well that and he is doing my music for free. Free dinner for a ho seems a small price to pay.
  • We have the same policy but I would let my brother bring a date if he wanted to.
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  • I agree with PP's and am letting my sister bring a date even though other singles were not included with a guest.
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  • Yup! Allow him to bring a date....
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  • Bending the rules for siblings is absolutely ok.  But, you really shouldn't share the 'rules' with your guests - then you don't have to defend them. 
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  • If it makes you feel better, my brother wants to bring his 29-year-old girlfriend (he just turned 21) who breaks up with him every other week, shaved her head, talks in a baby voice, and wears Lady Gaga-type wigs.
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