Pre-wedding Parties

Need help....engagement party?

Ladies, I need some help! I am so stressed out and confused!!!!! My fiance and I would like to get married as soon as possible however we are not financially ready to have a big wedding like I want. My guest list is high however I dont know how to cut it down.

So, I have been thinking that we may just get married in the next few months with just our parents and daughter. Then, maybe in 2-3 or even 5 years have the BIG wedding that I have dreamed of. Is that crazy?

Also, can I have something like a engagement party maybe next month or early Summer? Or maybe call it a blessing party? I just want to be able to celebrate with those who really were there for us throughout our relationship. Please give me ideas. I am desperate and clueless, lol. I can plan like a pro when it comes to work and other peoples parties but with mine I cant! I cant even pick a date.

Please help! Laughing

Re: Need help....engagement party?

  • Engagement parties are thrown for you - not by you, so if someone else is hosting, you can take them up on the offer.  Otherwise, you should not be throwing any wedding-related parties on your own because they are in your honor - this includes bachelorettes and bridal showers.

    If you want to have a party just to have a party, that's fine. 
  • If you want to have a party, have a party for family and friends.  You can't call is an engagemetn party, though, if you host it yourselves.  Like any other pre-wedding party, engagement parties are thrown for the couple, not by the couple.  Anyone invited to an e-party, shower or bach party should be invited to the wedding.

    Also, if you do decide to get married now in a small ceremony, that is your wedding.  In 2 or 3 or 5 years you would be planning a vow renewal.  Vow renewals can be beautiful and meaningful but they are not weddings.  At a vow renewal you don't have the bridal party, the "bride" and "groom" titles, the first dance - any of the trappings of a wedding.  You can still have a nice service and wear a pretty dress, but you don't get a redo.

    If you really want a big party and all the pomp and circumstance, why not have a long engagement and save for the wedding you want?
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  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited April 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_need-helpengagement-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:85f80976-5baa-4a4f-a1ef-aca5a95b377bPost:2e4a4110-bb32-477c-8143-ee88c1c834bd">Need help....engagement party?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ladies, I need some help! I am so stressed out and confused!!!!! My fiance and I would like to get married as soon as possible however we are not financially ready to have a big wedding like I want. My guest list is high however I dont know how to cut it down. So, I have been thinking that we may just get married in the next few months with just our parents and daughter. <strong>Then, maybe in 2-3 or even 5 years have the BIG wedding that I have dreamed of. Is that crazy?</strong> Also, can I have something like a engagement party maybe next month or early Summer? Or maybe call it a blessing party? I just want to be able to celebrate with those who really were there for us throughout our relationship. Please give me ideas. I am desperate and clueless, lol. I can plan like a pro when it comes to work and other peoples parties but with mine I cant! I cant even pick a date. Please help!
    Posted by LizzyTony[/QUOTE]
    Yes, that's crazy.  You only get one wedding, unless you get divorced in between weddings.  Whatever day you legally become married to your FI is your wedding day.  You don't get a do over. 

    As PPs have said, you cannot throw your own engagement party.



  • LizzyTonyLizzyTony member
    First Comment
    edited April 2012
    The reason why I said I have to do it now is because of the financial commitment but also because my pastors are asking us to do it ASAP. I wasnt saying I want a redo. I just always wanted the dress and the big celebration. I guess I will just take what God has for me. Thank you ladies for the advice.
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