Is anyone else doing this?

theluckiest555 · April 2011

I am not going to do a bouquet toss. My FI and I are both not very fond of the tradition. Instead, our wedding planner told us about something really cool called the couples dance in lieu of a boquet toss. It is pretty much the opposite of what a bouquet toss is. What happens is that every married couple gets up on the dance floor to dance to a certain song (have not determined which one yet though) and after a couple minutes the DJ will say "Everyone that has been married for five years sit down" and then a couple more minutes and then "Everyone married less than 10 years sit down" and so on until only one coupe is stading, which will be the couple who has been married the longest. I will then present the bouquet to that couple. I think it is a beautiful way to hoor marriage and will so so sweet, especially since the couple that has been married the longest will be his grandparents, who have been married for 60= years. I can't wait to see everyone's reaction! What do you ladies think about this? Is anyone else doing something similar to this?

theluckiest555 · April 2011

If you do not have anything nice to say, please do us all a favor and don't say it. Thank you.

Beazilla · April 2011

I think it can be sweet if you don't have a lot of divorced or widowed individuals at your wedding. I'd give the bouquet to this grandparents as a separate thing unless you know for sure that there's not an older couple there who has been married longer. Something that I saw on OffbeatBride that sounded sweet was doing the reverse of the anniversary dance and having the dj call couples starting from the longest marriage (60 whatever years for your grandparents) to the shortest (3 hours 37 minutes or whatever for you and FI).

Avion22 · April 2011

My sister did this, knowing that my grandparents were the lonest-married couple. It was sweet.

This is a pretty common thing, often called the "anniversary dance." Personally, I prefer it because it keeps your single friends from feeling like they have to do the stupid bouquet catch, and avoids the whole garter-toss deal. Don't flame me -- if anyone on here wants to do a bouquet toss or garter toss, it's just fine. Just as a single person, the bouquet toss has always made me feel uncomfortable.

mctlong · April 2011

I'm not a big fan of the boquet toss either, but I love this idea.

wareagle5678 · April 2011

Luckiest, that sounds like a sweet idea. StageManager, I find it funny that you are calling her out on posting constantly when you have over 16,000 posts to your name. Some of us have real lives and better things to do with our time than read every.single.post ever made on every board.

Cynthia1207 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_anyone-else-doing-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:d065cb0f-27dc-4f65-aec1-27ec8b3aced6Post:ab43d936-63a6-4996-b224-a51c56a0ea87">Re: Is anyone else doing this?</a>:
[QUOTE]Luckiest, that sounds like a sweet idea. <strong>StageManager, I find it funny that you are calling her out on posting constantly when you have over 16,000 posts to your name. Some of us have real lives and better things to do with our time than read every.single.post ever made on every board.
</strong>Posted by wareagle5678[/QUOTE]

I think it's a great idea although it is quite common.

As for the bolded part.....since you are new and probably don't know very many posters, I can tell you that Stage posts usually to give some pretty darn good advice. Yes she may have over 16000 posts but most of those were answers to posters who keep repeating the same question over and over. Your post count goes up pretty quick.

trix1223 · April 2011

I think Stage was pointing out that this is hardly a new, nor a unique idea. It's been done at a number of weddings I've attended-some quite a few years ago. And it's mentioned here several times a month.

But OP-a hearty good luck to you.

Audrey&Austin · April 2011

This is a pretty common thing to do at weddings. It would work fine instead of doing the actual bouquet toss.

midgetthemighty · April 2011

Maybe the OP hasn't been to any or a lot of weddings where this has occured people. I think it's an adorable idea though.

Go for it!

fancieface · April 2011

omg...why are SOME people SO rude??? (one in particular ) I don't get it. I'm on these boards all the time and I have not come across this question. Thanks for asking * theluckiest555*. I have heard of this and have seen it at a wedding but I just don't understand why some people can respond so rudely. Just dismiss it.

Anyways... I like this idea and I may consider doing it too. Its fun. Good luck with planning

ootmother2 · April 2011

I think the OP may have received a better response if she hadn't said

hoor marriage

but I'm assuming that just a typo.

I've seen the dance done quite often. If you like it, go for it!

Alcyone1 · April 2011

I love the idea and wish we *could* do it, but as FMIL is divorced (and remarried and divorced), we feel like it would be really awkward. This leaves all of about 3 couples at the wedding that have been married for more than 6 years. (Others would be up there, but due to untimely deaths or awkward situations, it's not really possible). So basically, I think there would be a gap between ~6 years and >27 years. All in all, the anniversary dance would probably be more awkward for the guests than the bouquet toss.

That said, I *am* thinking of doing what has been suggested in some other threads: I wouldn't limit the tosses to the single people (of which there won't be many), and a gift card of some sort would be given to the catchers. I feel like this might make the whole thing more fun, while still giving us the opportunity to do the tosses.

StacyJenniges · April 2011

I have never heard of this idea. I think it is very cute idea instead of the bouquet toss. I am a geek and want to do all of the cliche things, bouquet toss, garter toss, dollar dance, "I knew the Bride when she use to rock and roll". but that's me.

I think though your idea would be fun to watch and is a sweet way to honor marriage.

Good luck

Milsey32 · April 2011

I have seen this dance AND bouquet/garter toss... so IMO it's not a "replacement" but I still love the idea, especially if you're sure FI's grandparents have been married the longest.

As for those bashing Stage - it's nice that you were able to observe her 16k posts, but did you also see that she's been on here for 3 years? Yeah.. she's actually been very helpful. I don't even know her but don't think she deserves a bashing. OP has made a few posts that were already talked about (and I'm not saying she did or did not do this but SOME posters do not look to see if their topic was recently brought up) Soooo let's not have drama for unnecessary reasons.

Avion22 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_anyone-else-doing-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:d065cb0f-27dc-4f65-aec1-27ec8b3aced6Post:9576068a-50fb-4d2b-9bb9-791f92804706">Re: Is anyone else doing this?</a>:
[QUOTE]I love the idea and wish we *could* do it, but as FMIL is divorced (and remarried and divorced), we feel like it would be really awkward. This leaves all of about 3 couples at the wedding that have been married for more than 6 years. (Others would be up there, but due to untimely deaths or awkward situations, it's not really possible). So basically, I think there would be a gap between ~6 years and />27 years. All in all, the anniversary dance would probably be more awkward for the guests than the bouquet toss. That said, I *am* thinking of doing what has been suggested in some other threads: I wouldn't limit the tosses to the single people (of which there won't be many), and a gift card of some sort would be given to the catchers. I feel like this might make the whole thing more fun, while still giving us the opportunity to do the tosses.
Posted by Alcyone1[/QUOTE]

Another idea is just to present your bouquet to whoever you want -- mom, grandma, sister, aunt, best friend, whoever.

I've never seen a bouquet toss like the one you're describing, but it sounds cute. Not sure how I feel about the gift-card...seems a little door-prize-y to me. But it sounds more fun than being singled out as a single person ;-)

KellyBrian2013 · April 2011

Just make sure you are aware of your guests, and as has been mentioned, if there are a lot of divorcees or even just a few widows/widowers, you may want to reconsider.

FI's grandma & grandpa celebrated their 50th anniversary where we are getting married, but he passed shortly afterward. Any kind of dance/recognition like this would be very upsetting to FI's grandma. Given that we have a lot of single friends, though, we'll be doing the bouquet and garter tosses.

Just know your guests, and good luck.

Ljacks87 · April 2011

FI's sister did the anniversary dance and it was really sweet. We're doing the bouquet toss because it's really important to my mom, for some reason.

Milsey32 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_anyone-else-doing-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:d065cb0f-27dc-4f65-aec1-27ec8b3aced6Post:2a639f47-c1e3-4a0d-91a1-c4e35be789ff">Re: Is anyone else doing this?</a>:
[QUOTE]FI's sister did the anniversary dance and it was really sweet. We're doing the bouquet toss because it's really important to my mom, for some reason.
Posted by Ljacks87[/QUOTE]

<div>I'm just curious... do you know why it's important to your mom?(IMO it seems like an odd thing to seem "really important" so I'm just wondering lol)</div>

teachermegs · April 2011

We were suppose to do an anniversary dance and never got around to it, but I really like the idea behind it.

jenniferacampbell · April 2011

i think this is a great idea and I have actually never heard of it!!! I like this idea so much--i might just steal it from you

NOLAbridealmost · April 2011

I am actually not a fan of the anniversary dance. It sort of sucks for people who are single. =/

It also seems counterintuitive to me to replace the bouquet toss with something like this. Presumably, people who don't like bouquet tosses don't care for them because it draws attention to the fact that some people are single and maybe makes them feel awkward. But an anniversary dance does the exact same thing by making single people feel excluded from something.

Just give your bouquet to someone you want to honor or keep it for yourself.

needle&thread · April 2011

It sounds soooo cute!! I never heard of this. It involves more people and no one gets hurt diving for the bouquet or the garter...including any children that may be in the way. Its like a musical chairs...cool. Ima use that!!

Furthermore, my FI doesn't want to give away anything that was on my thigh...he wants to keep it! LOL

Thanks for the idea theluckiest555; I would have never seen it.

S and CJ

bluedaisy2001 · April 2011

We're totally doing it! My grandparents have been married the longest and no one in my circle has done it so it will seem really unique. Plus I HATED the bouquet toss when I was single. We only have two or three single girls coming so I don't want them to be put on the spot standing there by themselves!

Ljacks87 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_anyone-else-doing-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:d065cb0f-27dc-4f65-aec1-27ec8b3aced6Post:a1a1a67e-2dc8-4663-8ee7-be5e8d7a6be1">Re: Is anyone else doing this?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Is anyone else doing this? : I'm just curious... do you know why it's important to your mom?(IMO it seems like an odd thing to seem "really important" so I'm just wondering lol)
Posted by Milsey32[/QUOTE]

<div>My only sister has expressed that she will not have a traditional wedding, so my mom wants to fulfill as many traditions with mine as possible (I think). I didn't have a strong opinion on it, so I let her win that one ;)</div>

whitelilly1010 · April 2011

We haven't discussed what we will do but I hate the garter toss and hope he is okay not doing it, which I think he will be. With that said I don't feel strongly that we should do the bouquet toss. This is someething I have thought of doing. I think it's cute!

ajroark · April 2011

I've heard of this before! I like the idea, but I don't know if I would replace the bouquet toss with it. I may do both. I think it's very sweet to honor the longest married couple, but I always thought single guests looked forward to the bouquet toss? I could be wrong??

Soon2BeMrsTing · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_anyone-else-doing-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:d065cb0f-27dc-4f65-aec1-27ec8b3aced6Post:92e3167e-8cc3-485c-8b97-e96327eeb0c4">Re: Is anyone else doing this?</a>:
[QUOTE]I've heard of this before! I like the idea, but I don't know if I would replace the bouquet toss with it. I may do both. I think it's very sweet to honor the longest married couple, but I always thought single guests looked forward to the bouquet toss? I could be wrong??
Posted by ajroark[/QUOTE

Perhaps younger singles tend to look forward to the bouquet toss, but I think for most of us the novelty wears off steadily. I recall having fun with it between the ages of roughly eight-eighteen, but in more recent years I've been glad to see a couple forego the ritual.

We didn't do a bouquet or garter toss (I didn't even wear a garter ). We would have considered a couples' dance but my parents are divorced and it seemed to us that to have such a dance would be in poor taste.

theluckiest555 · April 2011

Thanks for all your imput ladies! I actually saw this on an episode of Four Weddings and thought it was sweet so I asked my planner about it. Congrats to you all!

Enami · April 2011

We thought about this and aren't doing it. My mom's parents would win (they just had their 52nd Monday) but my dad's parents would have had their 64th this year if my grandfather was still living, and FI great-grandparents would have had their 68th if his great-grandfather hadn't passed away. We don't want to call attention to these missing family members, since both my grandmother and his great-grandmother miss their husbands very much. But I like the bouquet and garter tosses.

Also, yeah, I've seen this post before, and I abscoded from TK for several months. It isn't an original idea.

Enami · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_anyone-else-doing-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:d065cb0f-27dc-4f65-aec1-27ec8b3aced6Post:d59f040b-bf49-4d71-813a-b9ee6e5ea38f">Re: Is anyone else doing this?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Is anyone else doing this? : And what's worse than being called up for a bouquet toss? When you choose not to participate and then they get the djs to call up the non-participants by name. Isn't it common sense that if an adult chooses not to go up for something like that, they don't want to? They don't usually bother me (depending on how sensitive I was at that point in time to the fact that I'm single) so I usually just go up. But refusing to start until you see single people up there is just a rude way to treat guests imo.
Posted by djhar[/QUOTE]

That is super rude. But none of the weddings I've been too ever call people up by name, just "Single ladies, come up for the bouquet toss!" or something along those lines. I would kill my DJ if he called anyone by name.

Is anyone else doing this?

Re: Is anyone else doing this?

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