Wedding Party Gifts

suze423 · October 2010

My FI seems to have the idea that all the wedding party gifts, BMs and GMs, should be part of the total wedding cost, mean that I/my dad would pay for them. Is this normal? I think he should pay for his groomsmen gifts himself.

suze423 · October 2010

Our finances are seperate but I make quite a bit more money than he does and work longer hours. I'm fine with that so long as he does what he said he would do, like housework and cooking. His groomsmen are his 9 year old son and his cousin so it's not like there are a lot of people to buy gifts for.

bablingbrooke · October 2010

Then why is this even an issue?

banana468 · October 2010

This seems to be a bigger issue to me.

I can't imagine DH saying to me, "You're paying for the gifts for my GM."

We shared finances at the time but still, something would have been off to me. Do you two agree about the other expenses?

[Deleted User] · October 2010

My parents are paying for the wedding but we're covering the honeymoon, our rings and attendant gifts. I'm paying for my girls' gifts and he'll pay for his. He hasn't said anything about the gifts except whining a little because I already started buying mine and he has no clue what to get his. lol.

It was mutually understood that we buy our own gifts for people. And we have 7 attendants on each side... I can't imagine that buying two for family members would be hard (or very expensive)...

marissa_claire · October 2010

The gifts are from you, not your parents. It doesn't make sense for them to pay for it. You are the one thanking them for being a part of your big day.

aerinpegadrak · October 2010

He expects you to pay for a gift for his son that's supposed to be coming from him?? Seriously? My mind just boggles at that. I think that's even worse than expecting you to foot the bill for his buddies.

mbcdefg · October 2010

You should work it out however you're comfortable.

If your personal finances are set up so that your paycheck provides the spending money for the two of you (or the wedding fund, or what have you), then that's your call. MH and I mainly paid for our wedding ourselves, but we divided up the vendors and bills according to our means, since MH made more than I did at that time.

However, it's extremely unreasonable if he's saying that your parents ought to pay for his attendants' gifts (or yours, for that matter).

AJG456 · October 2010

I ended up paying for part of my husbands GM gifts. He had two more people than I did, plus I make more money, and they're my friends too so I wanted them to get something really cool and fun! But he certainly didn't demand it- it was something I offered.

trix1223 · October 2010

Please send your FI here so I can slap him up side the head. Your father should absolutely NOT be paying for gifts for his WP. If you have already co-mingled finances, then the money for gifts comes from your joint account. If you still have separate accounts, HE pays for the gifts for HIS WP.

Manwaithiel · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_wedding-party-gifts-12?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:d0d10bc4-b33c-4285-a0ca-65f07b6a7822Post:42b78fa4-20c0-46a0-89c3-c016ac135e4e">Re: Wedding Party Gifts</a>:
[QUOTE]Please send your FI here so I can slap him up side the head. Your father should absolutely NOT be paying for gifts for his WP. If you have already co-mingled finances, then the money for gifts comes from your joint account. If you still have separate accounts, HE pays for the gifts for HIS WP.
Posted by trix1223[/QUOTE]

Ditto. He sounds like he's just trying to get out of doing what he needs to do. I think you have bigger problems than this.

lalap69 · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_wedding-party-gifts-12?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:d0d10bc4-b33c-4285-a0ca-65f07b6a7822Post:42b78fa4-20c0-46a0-89c3-c016ac135e4e">Re: Wedding Party Gifts</a>:
[QUOTE]Please send your FI here so I can slap him up side the head. Your father should absolutely NOT be paying for gifts for his WP. If you have already co-mingled finances, then the money for gifts comes from your joint account. If you still have separate accounts, HE pays for the gifts for HIS WP.
Posted by trix1223[/QUOTE]
This exactly. Your FI does understand how gifts work, right?

kimp67 · October 2010

Can't tell you what to do, but "we" pay for everything together.

Wedding Party Gifts

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