Cute way to ask my bridemaids?

Polaris2011 · May 2010

Hello! Im looking for a cute way to ask my 3 closest friends to be my bridesmaids. What I was thinking is getting them "The Knot Bridesmaid handbook", a white rose, and write them each a personal letter about how they are important to me and put it in the front of the book. Then tie it all with blue ribbon and give it to them. What do you think? Anyone else ask their BM's in a cute way? I know they will all say yes if I just came out and asked them but I want it to be special for them too!

emilykathleen511 · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_cute-way-ask-bridemaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:9450216f-1d63-4004-aa2a-30f09d285929Post:9a19ef64-7f76-4a75-9ce3-f28d61dade3f">Cute way to ask my bridemaids?</a>:
[QUOTE]Hello! Im looking for a cute way to ask my 3 closest friends to be my bridesmaids. What I was thinking is getting them "The Knot Bridesmaid handbook", a white rose, and write them each a personal letter about how they are important to me and put it in the front of the book. Then tie it all with blue ribbon and give it to them. What do you think? Anyone else ask their BM's in a cute way? I know they will all say yes if I just came out and asked them but I want it to be special for them too!
Posted by Polaris2011[/QUOTE]

<div>The most important part is the asking itself, not how you ask. A letter would be fine, but I would <em>strongly</em> suggest skipping the "Bridesmaids handbook." This would imply there are things that your bridesmaid <em>has</em> to do for you (like plan parties, stuff envelopes, go shopping with you, etc.) and this is simply not true. Often times your bridesmaids will do these things for you, but it is because they want to, not because they <em>have</em> to. Leave it up to your friends to step up--it will be much more special that way when you know that they are volunteering because they want to help you out, and not because you tried forcing them with a book outlining all their "duties."</div><div>
</div><div>Just remember, all your bridesmaids have to do is get the dress and show up the day of the wedding. If that is all you expect, anything they do above and beyond that will be all that much more special.</div><div>
</div><div>If you really want to put the letter in a book, you could get each girl a book you think she would like (that has nothing to do with the wedding). For instance, if one girl loves to cook, you could get her a cookbook, if another loves history, get a book about a time period that interests her, and if another likes novels, get one by one of her favorite authors. That would be very special, and really underline how much you love each one of them as individuals.</div>

trix1223 · May 2010

Just call and ask them. You get the value added of hearing them squeal in delight., and it's free.

In the coming months, the manipulative wedding industry will do their very best to convince you that everything, EVERYTHING, about your wedding must be clever, unique, creative, memorable, and unusual or your wedding won't be special.

It will be special because it's YOUR wedding. The wedding industry will also do their very best to convince you that you must turn everything into a big production or it's meaningless.

Here's your chance to hop off the wedding insanity train before it even starts chuggin' along. Remember: the honor is in BEING asked, not in HOW you're asked.

Will your friends feel any less thrilled to be in your WP if you call and ask them than they will if you give them a cookie shaped like a dress and a white rose? Answer: NO.

And for the love of God, DO NOT, NOT, NOT give them a bridesmaid handbook. Gotta tell you: if I were handed that, I might decline the "honor" because I'd be thinking I had a 'zilla on my hands.

Finally: I don't know when your wedding is, but wait until about 8-9 months out before asking anyone. Why? Scroll down this board to see the countless posts from brides who asked too early, and now are looking for ways to kick out a member of the WP because relationships have changed.

mbcdefg · May 2010

I think the letter and the flower are a nice idea, but I agree with PPs to skip the bridesmaid handbook. A lot of those "handbooks" have really outdated and incorrect information about what bridesmaids are expected to do.

emilyinchile · May 2010

I'd rather just get the cute note (I know they make "will you be my bridesmaid?" cards, although I don't know where to buy them) and the flower without the handbook. I think adding the handbook makes it seem like you're saying "will you do all these tasks for me?" as opposed to "will you stand up next to me as one of my best friends?"

stina93446 · May 2010

I agree with pp. The handbooks are a waste of money and they are presumptuos of you.

[Deleted User] · May 2010

I agree with trix1223. That is the only thing I hate about TK, while they have some good ideas and all, they are still trying to sell you all this stuff for your wedding. Just freaking ask them in person, that is what we did for both our girls and guys.

CTGirl30 · May 2010

Ditto PPs - skip the handbook.

No matter how you ask them, I promise it will be special. Each time I was asked I was simply asked - either in phone or in person. And that's how I asked each of my 4 girls, too - either phone or individually, over dinner.

Save your money and your energy for the rest of your wedding planning. The honor is truly in the asking.

aerinpegadrak · May 2010

If a bride handed me a "bridesmaid handbook," I'd make my excuses and attend as a guest, no matter how close a friend I was. That's a "you have a bridezilla on your hands" red flag that's visible from space.

dmiguelez · May 2010

I got each of my bridesmaids a bracelet with their initial on it and wrapped a note around it said Will you be my bridesmaid? Then I took each one out to lunch and gave them the gift. I thought it was a cute idea and all my bridesmaids loved it.

Kate.Milliken · May 2010

I have 7 bridesmaids and 1 maid of honour so you can imagine with that many I would have some who live elsewhere. I wanted to do something that would reach everyone at the same time and still be personal and sweet. I created a slideshow with lots of pictures of all of us together- pictures I have gathered throughout the years. I put the slideshow together and added a beautiful, heartfelt song in the background- the pictures lasted the length of the song. At the end of the slideshow was a slide that came up saying how much they meant to me and how honoured I would be if they would be apart of such a special time and asked to be one of my bridesmaids. For the maid of honour one- I made it similar but changed the pictures at the end to one's of just us two and then asked her to be my maid of honour. They all loved it- calling me all almost immediately and simultaneously saying yes and expressing how thoughtful it was with all the pictures.
I hope my idea helps you in some way! Just think personal, thoughtful, and your style.

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