Bridal Shower evite

akulaji · January 2010

I just found out that my sister (MOH) is emailing out an evite to everyone for my bridal shower. My first reaction was that I thought that it was a bit tacky and informal considering the occasion... and I'm wondering if I'm overreacting or not. I'm a bit torn. My whole bridal party is coming in from out of state. They're throwing me a shower, an out of town bachelorette weekend and spending plenty of money just being a part of my wedding. I know that they understood the financial commitment they were making when they agreed to be a part of my wedding, but part of me feels like I should just let this slide, since I know it would just be another expense for them, and it's just a shower invite. I honestly don't know if my sister is also planning on mailing an invite also, but I would think it would be confusing if she did two modes of invite, so I'm assuming she's not. I didn't specifially ask though.

So ladies, I'd love some advice on how I should feel about this. I'm kind of hoping that you will tell me to snap out of it and let it go, but I just don't know what's really appropriate. I don't really feel okay telling them they should spend more money and send out invitations, so I'm not sure there's much I can do about the situation... should I just let it go? TIA!

akulaji · January 2010

Oh...and FYI, I know the date of the shower, but where we're going is a surprise, so I don't know how formal or informal it is...

tannymcgee · January 2010

I don't see how evites can work for the older set. I mean, I know we check our emails constantly but I have plenty of women in my family that barely know what email is, so evites totally wont work.. Is this the same for you? Formality vs informality is one thing, but actually getting the information to the people that need it is another. Would that be an issue for you?

melabes9846 · January 2010

I would be having the same reaction you did- I would think it's a little tacky. I also agree with tanny- about half the women invited to my shower wouldn't know what an evite is, let alone have an email address to send one to!!

My MOH wasn't sure how to go about planning a shower or doing the invites. She just started her first job out of college and doesn't have loads of money to spend. Upon seeing her panicking, I volunteered to design the invites (I know the date, time and location of my shower- I don't like surprises!!!) and I printed them for free on vistaprint and had them sent to her. All she has to pay is postage. And I know that's an etiquette no-no, but it relieved her stress and it's not like I am planning my own shower-only the invite! lol

akulaji · January 2010

yea... I don't know. There really aren't many older people that are invited. Only one grandmother left, and she's in Florida, so we know she's not coming. She even uses email though. She'll be invited, but it's really out of courtesy and to tell her know that we'll be thinking of her. It's going to be small. I think I gave her a list of 18 people, all of which use email. One of my bridesmaids actually mentioned the evite. Maybe I should ask her a little more about the situation. Do you think it's bad etiquette to send an evite? Melissa, that's a good idea about vistaprint. I used them for my STDs. I could suggest that to them as a cheap alternative. I feel like it might be easier for me to talk to the bridesmaid about it that's helping my sister. My sister can be a bit defensive and opinionated sometimes when she's feeling overwhelmed.

SuMmErKuTiE · January 2010

I agree with you and see how you would feel that it's a bit tacky. Your bridal shower will be your formal "lady time" with all the women in your life.. family..friends..new family..etc.. and a lot of the attendees (especially grandmas and great aunties) will be expecting an invitation in the mail. I know that the older women in my family wouldn't even know what email is, nevermind check it on a regular basis to know they received an evite.

I actually just told my mom yesterday that I'm going to sign her and my MOH up for vistaprint emails. I told her they should both be receiving emails on a regular basis with free offers and they should be able to get my bridal shower invitations for free that way. Maybe you could suggest something along those lines to your sister and whoever else may be helping to plan your shower. HTH!

PRLJMB · January 2010

I really don't see any problem with an Evite. My bridal party was on a budget too and I'd rather see the money put into the actual shower, bachelorette party, or some special gift than into an invitation that no one will remember anyway. I don't want to hurt your feelings but I think its a bit silly to get upset over. People are going to remember the shower itself, not the invite, so I really think if shes saving money to put into the shower than she is doing the smart thing! If everyone invited uses email and understands it than what's the big deal? its 2010 evites are big, let it go and assume she did it for the right reasons. Also, is it atleast a cute e-vite? You can probably tell alot from the e-vite itself. If it's sloppily put together I might wonder. If you get to the shower and its tacky well then I might question my MOH decision lol. But we'll cross our fingers.

akulaji · January 2010

Just talked to the bridesmaid that's helping. It honestly sounds like a mess to me, but I think I just have to let them do their thing. They have both the evite and paper invites. They're sending the evite out to everyone they have an email address for. Upon looking at the list, 90% of those people don't use their email regularly. The ones that don't have email they're sending paper invites out to and will also send paper to the people that don't use email regularly. So, most people will be getting 2 invites. My BM said that she doesn't see a problem in giving people two invites. I decided it was best not to push the point. I told her about vistaprint, but she said my sister already has paper invites. So... if there are paper invites already that they're sending out, not sure why they don't just send out paper to everyone. There are only 3 or 4 people that won't be getting both. It's only 17 people total. Maybe they think it's best to send out the evite because people will get that faster than the mailed invite? All I can figure is that they want people to be able to secure the date sooner rather than later.

PRLJMB · January 2010

Yikes kinda sounds messy...but you didn't plan it atleast so direct the questions to the MOH in the event of a mixup or something. I'm sorry! I hope it works out well!

banana468 · January 2010

It sounds like it could get messy but let them handle it.

Remember, when they agreed to be in your wedding, they agreed to the dress and being there for you on the wedding day. The rest is quite traditional but it's a gift to you and not a requirement in what or how they do it.

I can't blame you for being a bit frustrated by it, but it really wouldn't be your place to say anything. Just be as appreciative as you can for all the effort that they're putting in.

starrbuk13 · January 2010

lol yeahhhh that sounds like a big mess. i don't get the double invite thing, or why they aren't just sending the extra 3 or 4 invites out, but whatever! let them handle it...they'll figure out a way to get everyone there

akulaji · January 2010

Yea, I know now after talking to my BM that it's out of my hands. I'm sure everything will turn out well, and I really appreciate all their effort. I guess it was just the initial surprise because it isn't how I would do it (or how I've done it in the past). Everyone has their own way though, and I know we'll have a great time. Thanks everyone!

Whippet8 · January 2010

honestly, my first reaction is to think it is a little tacky...but whats done is done, and hopefully you'll have a wonderful shower. Not to say that they can't be really nice evites, but I just dont see the point of doing two invitations.

christikao · January 2010

I agree with you on this. I don't see the point of emailing if your MOH has paper invites. I can see having evites for bachelorette party but bridal shower should def be paper unless it's in two weeks. Hopefully it'll work out in the end.

jennylove810 · January 2010

Hey Akulaji! Just an fyi- last year I got an evite to my FSIL's baby shower and I never gave it a second thought. Now granted, I am computer-savvy, and I'd like to think that overall, I'm a decently polite person but it honestly never crossed my mind that I shouldn't treat the shower seriously just because it was an evite. I dressed nicely, was on time, brought a nice gift, etc. I'm not trying to make this about me, I'm just saying not to worry because there will be plenty of people who will say, "Ooh, ok a shower for Akulaji!" and they'll be excited and treat it properly.

No worries, your girls will get it together and you'll have a wonderful time

EDIT: When I say I "never gave it a second thought" I meant the fact that it was an evite as opposed to a paper invite. I didn't care one bit.

Vikki2pay · January 2010

I dont know how I feel about the evites for the shower, I guess it would just a back up if someone doesn't get the paper invites, so I do get it, I just think it might get a little crazy.

But at least they're trying to cover all bases.

starrbuk13 · January 2010

something just dawned on me, too. they're asking for RSVP's i'm assuming, right? so anyone who doesnt get the evite will not rsvp, and they should be able to call/tell them about it from there....it at least solves the non-technology-saavy issue i think lol

Bridal Shower evite

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