Not inviting to wedding but to post party

DSBDAC2012 · March 2012

I am having a destination wedding with about 60 guests which leaves out quite a few people that I'd like to have there. It's my dream wedding location though. I am going to be having my vows blessed in a church a year after the destination wedding and planned to invite everyone that I'd like to have at the initial wedding to the post party following my vow blessing which will be like another wedding (dress and all), How should I word the shower invites to include everyone including the destination wedding guests and post party guests? I'm stuck on if I should have one shower or two separate ones for the two different ceremonies?

Cortney1982 · March 2012

Your throwing your own shower?

ThankfulSnail · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-inviting-to-wedding-but-to-post-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:12ba5670-4643-4098-b996-fb0aa29cfc76Post:4a4a88ca-87a3-452e-9529-cb23b7b4368c">Not inviting to wedding but to post party</a>:
[QUOTE]I am having a destination wedding with about 60 guests which leaves out quite a few people that I'd like to have there. It's my dream wedding location though. I am going to be having my vows blessed in a church a year after the destination wedding and planned to invite everyone that I'd like to have at the initial wedding to the post party following my vow blessing which will be like another wedding (dress and all), How should I word the shower invites to include everyone including the destination wedding guests and post party guests? I'm stuck on if I should have one shower or two separate ones for the two different ceremonies?
Posted by DSBDAC2012[/QUOTE]
You don't throw your own shower. If someone chooses to throw you a shower before the DW, you can ask them how many guests you can invite, and you should select guests from the DW guest list, since everyone invited to the shower needs to be invited to your actual wedding.<div>
</div><div>Having your vows blessed in a church =/= another wedding. You should not be wearing a wedding gown, have a bouquet toss, first dance, etc., since you will already have been married for a year.</div><div>
</div><div>Are you having guests at the ceremony to bless your vows? If not, I think it's strange to have a reception-like party afterward. A reception is a thank you to guests for attending your wedding, which at least some of these guests would not be doing.</div>

mizutamababy · March 2012

Wow, this post should win some kind of stay classy award.

saritak · March 2012

If having your marriage blessed in the church is so important, why don't you just get married there in the first place? And why are you waiting a year to have your marriage blessed?

gailpete · March 2012

@sari- that's easy.. the location of the wedding is more important than the religious ceremony and the people there to witness it. I always thought it was the other way around, but maybe that's just me.

OP- you don't throw your own shower. If someone offers, it should be before your wedding and you don't get another one before your second party (you are already married and aren't entitled to a bridal shower or bachelorette party once you're married).

RebeccaB88 · March 2012

If your dream wedding location isn't in a church, then why is it so important that your marriage be blessed in one later? Just get married in the church and invite everyone you'd like to be there. It sounds to me like you're trying to stretch out the amount of time you think you can say 'me me me' as far as you can, to try to get more attention and gifts. Not classy.

Have either your destination wedding OR a church wedding, but pick one and let it be.

Not touching the shower thing, but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt that someone is throwing you this shower. If that's so, then you may only invite people also invited to the destination wedding (or whichever one is the actual legal ceremony), no one else.