DRAMA

klalexander08 · January 2010

My fiance and I were planning a destination weddingmoon in Jamaica. We had already had it planned and booked for just the 2 of us. My parents loved the idea and even helped pay for some of the trip. his parents on the other hand cursed me out "where do you get the f*ing balls to tell us we can't see our son get married" They made me feel terrible and reduced me into inviting the families. I am feeling resentful and upset. My parents do not even want to go because they knew our original plans were what we prefer. But I have already caved into inviting everyone. I know I will resent his parents for this. WHAT DO I DO!!!?!

nda_roxybabe · January 2010

2 newbies from Baltimore within one minute of eachother. Odd.

shellydiane820 · January 2010

Well if you already invited everyone its a little late to do anything.

Suck it up, and deal.

sucrets4 · January 2010

Well, it's not like they're telling you to get married at home. It may not be what you wanted, but you already gave in. Why is having them there such an awful thing?

klalexander08 · January 2010

I dont think suck it up and deal is anything I want to do when it comes to my wedding, do you?

beatlesgirl25 · January 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0052e54d-9e1a-49f6-bd47-fa05fbd01e1aPost:f00db731-0b9d-4e9c-afea-00027270f17b">DRAMA</a>:
[QUOTE]My fiance and I were planning a destination weddingmoon in Jamaica. We had already had it planned and booked for just the 2 of us. My parents loved the idea and even helped pay for some of the trip. his parents on the other hand cursed me out "where do you get the f*ing balls to tell us we can't see our son get married" They made me feel terrible and reduced me into inviting the families. I am feeling resentful and upset. My parents do not even want to go because they knew our original plans were what we prefer. But I have already caved into inviting everyone. I know I will resent his parents for this. WHAT DO I DO!!!?!
Posted by klalexander08[/QUOTE]

klalexander08 · January 2010

and it isn't an awful thing, but I wanted it to be very private. i dont think a wedding is a specatcle or a show

sucrets4 · January 2010

What shelly means is that you can't rescind the invitation without looking really, REALLY bad.

nda_roxybabe · January 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0052e54d-9e1a-49f6-bd47-fa05fbd01e1aPost:f00db731-0b9d-4e9c-afea-00027270f17b">DRAMA</a>:
[QUOTE]My fiance and I were planning a destination weddingmoon in Jamaica. We had already had it planned and booked for just the 2 of us. My parents loved the idea and even helped pay for some of the trip. his parents on the other hand cursed me out "where do you get the f*ing balls to tell us we can't see our son get married" They made me feel terrible and reduced me into inviting the families. I am feeling resentful and upset. My parents do not even want to go because they knew our original plans were what we prefer. But I have already caved into inviting everyone. I know I will resent his parents for this. WHAT DO I DO!!!?!
Posted by klalexander08[/QUOTE]

No, suck it up and deal is clearly not what you want to do but at this point you may have to. What do expect us to say? Don't you think if there was a perfect solution you would have come up with it by now? Now, when is the wedding anyhow? Have invites gone out?

Koopa17 · January 2010

Yeah...parents tend to like to see their kid get married most of the time. Suck it up, move on with your planning and enjoy your wedding. On the bright side at least they support your marriage and care enough to want to witness it?

sucrets4 · January 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0052e54d-9e1a-49f6-bd47-fa05fbd01e1aPost:d37bbf82-aade-4008-a9e1-0eff650ecab0">Re: DRAMA</a>:
[QUOTE]and it isn't an awful thing, but I wanted it to be very private. i dont think a wedding is a specatcle or a show
Posted by klalexander08[/QUOTE]

Wait, so you're saying that the carnival I had at my wedding was inappropriate??

charlsie26 · January 2010

why is inviting your parents, the people who gave birth to you and raised you, such a God awful thing to have at your wedding?

beatlesgirl25 · January 2010

Well, "caving" on your wedding plans isn't something you probably wanted to do when it came your wedding either, but you already did so now you are committed to having family there. Personally, I think you should be upset with your FI, if anyone, for not handling his parents better and letting them shame you into creating a DW for them. Adults elope all the time, and you both could have stuck to that. Now you have different plans to deal with.

sucrets4 · January 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0052e54d-9e1a-49f6-bd47-fa05fbd01e1aPost:92ba0a66-a026-4aa9-8ab0-ef50b6507f27">Re: DRAMA</a>:
[QUOTE]why is inviting your parents, the people who gave birth to you and raised you, such a God awful thing to have at your wedding?
Posted by charlsie26[/QUOTE]

Because it's HER day and she can do whatever she wants!!!!!!!!

amalama · January 2010

Why don't you want even your parents there? I can't imagine refusing to let my parents see me get married. I don't think they should have cursed at you or pressured you, but I can see why they would be hurt. And now that you have invited everyone, I don't think there is anything that you can do. Just have a quick ceremony/reception and then spend the rest of the trip by yourselves.

shellydiane820 · January 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0052e54d-9e1a-49f6-bd47-fa05fbd01e1aPost:4996fea6-d9e8-4730-9920-a68baad69e9f">Re: DRAMA</a>:
[QUOTE]I dont think suck it up and deal is anything I want to do when it comes to my wedding, do you?
Posted by klalexander08[/QUOTE]

Yep. Its called being an adult. You guys will have many more special moments together. A wedding is just a day.

nda_roxybabe · January 2010

Did you end up inviting more than just the parents? It can still be a private event with both your parents there. You can have the rest of your honeymoon just the two of you.

squirrly · January 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0052e54d-9e1a-49f6-bd47-fa05fbd01e1aPost:d37bbf82-aade-4008-a9e1-0eff650ecab0">Re: DRAMA</a>:
[QUOTE]and it isn't an awful thing, but I wanted it to be very private. i dont think a wedding is a specatcle or a show
Posted by klalexander08[/QUOTE]

Assuming you're not selling tickets, wearing costumes, or employing firebreathing belly dancers, it's neither a spectacle nor a show. It's a wedding. They're guests.

I'm pretty sure, in your case, you can either suck it up and deal, as suggested, or find a way to like this new arrangement.

And, next time, let your FI deal with his parents.

klalexander08 · January 2010

I didn't send out a single formal invite it was an informal agreement, and the people that gave birth to me don't think weddings are a huge deal.

beatlesgirl25 · January 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0052e54d-9e1a-49f6-bd47-fa05fbd01e1aPost:4996fea6-d9e8-4730-9920-a68baad69e9f">Re: DRAMA</a>:
[QUOTE]I dont think suck it up and deal is anything I want to do when it comes to my wedding, do you?
Posted by klalexander08[/QUOTE]

No, that's more for the wedding night.

charlsie26 · January 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:0052e54d-9e1a-49f6-bd47-fa05fbd01e1aPost:6588c2eb-a961-4254-abf8-b17870307d4d">Re: DRAMA</a>:
[QUOTE]I didn't send out a single formal invite it was an informal agreement, and the people that gave birth to me don't think weddings are a huge deal.
Posted by klalexander08[/QUOTE]

Did you ever think outside your selfish box and think maybe his parents would like to see thier son get married?

sucrets4 · January 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0052e54d-9e1a-49f6-bd47-fa05fbd01e1aPost:6588c2eb-a961-4254-abf8-b17870307d4d">Re: DRAMA</a>:
[QUOTE]I didn't send out a single formal invite it was an informal agreement, and the people that gave birth to me don't think weddings are a huge deal.
Posted by klalexander08[/QUOTE]

Perhaps, but saying something and going back on your word looks really shiitty.

SarahSmile23 · January 2010

you can't use a title like that and then deliver the suck. it isn't fair to those of us who expected...well...drama.

sucrets4 · January 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0052e54d-9e1a-49f6-bd47-fa05fbd01e1aPost:fdfbf7e2-fa23-445c-a7d1-af869715f183">Re: DRAMA</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: DRAMA : No, that's more for the wedding night.
Posted by beatlesgirl25[/QUOTE]

Bwahahaha!

shellydiane820 · January 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0052e54d-9e1a-49f6-bd47-fa05fbd01e1aPost:fdfbf7e2-fa23-445c-a7d1-af869715f183">Re: DRAMA</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: DRAMA : No, that's more for the wedding night.
Posted by beatlesgirl25[/QUOTE]

hahaha! I heart you!

klalexander08 · January 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0052e54d-9e1a-49f6-bd47-fa05fbd01e1aPost:d79f6285-808c-4bbc-9745-e9c98ff37f21">Re: DRAMA</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: DRAMA : Did you ever think outside your selfish box and think maybe his parents would like to see thier son get married?
Posted by charlsie26[/QUOTE]

If it was just about seeing their son get married they went about it the wrong way!!!! In no way am I selfish

sucrets4 · January 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0052e54d-9e1a-49f6-bd47-fa05fbd01e1aPost:6588c2eb-a961-4254-abf8-b17870307d4d">Re: DRAMA</a>:
[QUOTE]I didn't send out a single formal invite it was an informal agreement, and the people that gave birth to me don't think weddings are a huge deal.
Posted by klalexander08[/QUOTE]

And since you already said yes, what if they made reservations already?

nda_roxybabe · January 2010

What kind of informal agreement? And with whom? Just the parents or other people as well? If its just parents then really, its still intimate. If you went and invited all 10 brothers and 170 cousins....then you've really got something to deal with.

Koopa17 · January 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0052e54d-9e1a-49f6-bd47-fa05fbd01e1aPost:6588c2eb-a961-4254-abf8-b17870307d4d">Re: DRAMA</a>:
[QUOTE]I didn't send out a single formal invite it was an informal agreement, <strong>and the people that gave birth to me don't think weddings are a huge deal.</strong>
Posted by klalexander08[/QUOTE]

Well apparently the people that gave birth to your FI do. Sorry, you're just gonna have to accept that you're marrying into another family and that things can't always be done exactly how you want it. There are other people's feelings to consider. Don't stress about it, you'll have a lovely wedding and will be too happy and focused on your husband that day to care if there are any extra 8 people sitting and watching.

mocha beans · January 2010

You're eloping; many parents don't like to be denied watching their kid get married.

Yes, you pretty much have to suck it up and deal, because you have two options 1) Not get the perfect elopement of your dreams, and also not start your marriage off with a pissed off MIL, or 2) Not let her come and get your perfect elopement and piss off your MIL, which will make future family life a blaaaast...which really isn't an option because you can't recind an invitation anyway.

So basically, yes, at this point you suck it up and deal.

shellydiane820 · January 2010

Just tell your inlaws they can't make direct eye contact with you. It helps.

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