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Grandparents' rights?

divinemsbeedivinemsbee member
First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
in Military Brides
http://jezebel.com/5856941/should-grandparents-rights-trump-a-parents-wishes

I just read this, and I know a lot of us on here have, shall we say, interesting relationships with our parents or our (future) in-laws. Also, I realize that some of us may end up as defacto "single parents" during parts of our children's growing-up. What do you guys think about this?

I think that if I haven't been proven to be incompentent or abusive, then I probably have a good reason for cutting off someone's influence over my child's life. At what point does not agreeing with someone's parenting style (again, not abuse or neglect, but method of raising) become grounds for legal visitation?
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Re: Grandparents' rights?

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    BinxRoseBinxRose member
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    edited December 2011
    Unless there is some kind of abuse happening, grandparents shouldn't have any more right to see their grandchildren than any passing stranger. If your adult children want you to see their children they'd let you. If they don't want you to see them [often], there is most likely a good reason. The woman they quoted in the article had a very good reason for not allowing her mom around her kids, in my opinion. If I had been abused as a child and my mom knowingly stayed in touch with that person, no way in hell would I let my own kids around her. Maybe if you would have been a better parent, your adult kids would let you see their kids more. (This coming from someone who gets along very well with her own parents as well as ILs. We are waiting to move back home to start trying to have kids so that our parents CAN help out and be around.) Edit: spelling
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    amh04amh04
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    edited December 2011

    I agree with exactly what Binx said. I don't think there should be such a thing as grandparents rights, except for maybe in a case where the childs parent died. Like the father died, or the mother died, leaving a single parent. But - I think their right should only go as far as being able to visit them, not parent them, in that particular situation. Now - if I were for some reason proven to be a horrible parent and FI wasn't around, then I would want our parents to have the right to take them. But in no way shape or form should by parents or FI's parents rights have more say than ours.

    I think sometimes, most of the situations arise where grandparents fight for their grandkids are in single parent situations, where the opposite set of grandparents don't get to see them and want to. OR in the situations where the grandparents didn't have a good healthy relationship with their children and now want to be in their grandchilds life. Etc..

    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
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    ggirl2001ggirl2001 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    DD'd

    ETA: I might DD this later so please don't quote. 
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    BinxRoseBinxRose member
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    edited December 2011
    ggirl- FTR, I did say that there was "most likely" a good reason. But even so, while that was a really dirty move on your SIL's part, I just don't understand why grandparents should have any rights. They have no legal custody. They are not the parents. It just doesn't make any sense to me. They had their chance at being parents. While I understand that they want to see their grandchildren, they are not their kids.
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    ggirl2001ggirl2001 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I'm sorry, but I really can't get into this on the internet without putting too much out there. Let me just say that being in the situation before that I can get behind grandparents rights (not to parent or anything, but for visitation) in some cases. Obviously in cases of abuse, thats different and I don't think they should have visitation rights, but when its a parent acting out of spite and hurting the children in the process, I don't know if anyone can claim thats the act of a logical reasonable adult. 
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    BinxRoseBinxRose member
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    edited December 2011
    I guess my thoughts on the situation is that the parents created the child. The grandparents had no part in the creation or birth of the child. Therefore, being a parent is a right (unless there is abuse), but being a grandparent is  a privelage. But ggirl, I can understand how your experience would affect your opinion, and I can respect that.
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