He’s been there twice before, am I being unreasonable?

HoneyBunny678 · May 2010

I mean it is Paris France where he wants to go. We did discuss Europe, but I want us to honeymoon somewhere new for both of us. It really is only England and France that he has been so we are not limited by that, but we are limited by ideas. He only wants to go to Paris. I am unsure what to do or how to do it. If we do go, I am hoping that we can do some stuff that is “new to him” as he suggested but I am also fearful I will be resentful I can’t do the touristy stuff since that is “brining” to him. I am unsure how to handle this - most friends say suck it up and deal with it for goodness sake it’s Paris, but we will be trying for kids right away (we are both older) so I am thinking of this as our once in a lifetime trip especially because of the expense of it. Any advice welcome.

Thanks!

alithebride · May 2010

i dont know why a HM has to be to someplace new. why can't it be to someplace you (or in this case he) loves?! that just seems like a silly made up rule to me.

if he wants to go to paris fine-stay there a few days and then head down to provence or somewhere else in france (or in europe) that he hasn't been. i think you're needlessly worrying about what he'll think-he TOLD you that he wants to go back-and it will be new to you. i don't really see the issue here.

kmjarvey · May 2010

I like the idea of doing a few days in Paris so he goes where he wants to go but then spliting up the trip to someplace new for the two of you. Would you even want to spend a full week in Paris. I spend 2 days and 1 night there and that was enough for me. I'd get bored with a full week+

mbcdefg · May 2010

Have YOU ever been to Paris? If not, and if he's O.K. with going back there, then who the hell cares? If you both agree that you want to go there, then book it and enjoy it. I don't get why you're so concerned that he's been there before if he obviously doesn't care.

If you have been to Paris already and you want to try someplace new, then that's where you need to compromise.

Beth0882 · May 2010

Does he want to go because he loved it so much that he wants to be able to share his expereinces and the city he loved with you?? If so, I think thats incredibly sweet and he will probably be more excited about showing you aroudn and making you happy than you will be frustrated that he's already been there. If you really don't want to go because you have no interest in Paris, that's one thing, but ifits just because he's been there before, I bet it will be incredibly sweet. Plus, you will know you are creating new memories of Paris for him!

Reilly626 · May 2010

I agree- go somewhere new, Ive been many places, wanted Greek Isles for the third time, but we wanted to experiece something new together... How about Mallorca, Spain- its gorgeous and has culture!

kaesha · May 2010

Location is only part of what makes an experience. Who you're with is another huge part. Personally, I think it's ridiculous to rule out seeing a place just because your partner has been there before. That's just shooting yourself in the foot.

But then, my husband and I each travelled extensively before we met each other. If we didn't revisist places, I, for one, would never get a chance to see a whole lot of Europe.

Spend some time in Paris, then get out and go somewhere new for a few days. Frankly I think it's awesome to go somewhere with someone who already knows the lay of the land.

jennylove810 · May 2010

Ditto kaesha. Ditto 1000x.

AngelaOct11 · May 2010

We went to San Francisco and the Napa Valley for our honeymoon. I had been there a couple times before but my husband never had and wanted to go. I was excited to go back. I was able to show him things I loved about the city but also see new things with him. I wouldn't discount a place just because he has been there before.

christen80 · May 2010

I have to say that I've been to Paris three times and I'd go again in a second. Its one of those places that if you love it, you could go back many, many times. Its huge and there is so much to do. That said, I would also like to see other places in Europe. Perhaps you can get him to compromise by going to Paris and travelling around. You could even use it as your base and spend a few days there at the beginning, and a few days there before you fly home.

lchamnes · May 2010

My FH was dead-set on going to Paris. He's never been out of the country and that's the one place he wanted to go. I was dead-set on going to Asia. I'd always imagined a HM in the South Pacific. Since we're getting married in January, we compromised and we're going to Rome.

And we're both excited:0)

Ginabean2011 · May 2010

It would not remotely matter to me if he had been there before and I honestly think the "somewhere new" rule is a little silly. If he really wants to go there and so do you, what is the problem? This seems like you are creating an issue where none exists (in my view). You could always go to Paris AND somewhere else in the same trip, one cool thing about Europe is that many places are linked by rail so it's easy to hop around.

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