My bridemaid who I love dearly sent a msg couple months ago and asked FI and I , if we are really sure we want her to be in the wedding party, and that we should pray about it and she wouln't be offended if we decide not have her aymore...Okay, that was a big " what in the world" moment from both of us. We really love her and we have a very good friendhip and she was one the very first of the few people we asked to stand by us..Obviously we re-assure her that there's no doubt about our choice and why would she ask that? Her response was: " I noticed on your website that you guys have a lot friends and I'm just not sure why me, and if some of your friends will be fine seeing me on the altar and not them" Sincerely we were shocked and My Fiancee couldn't believe it. She is very closed to our family and our daughters just love her.
Couple weeks later I called her and asked her if everything's okay because she's been all distant and that I really wants to know what's bothering her...She said nothing, she is just busy with school and work etc... I know it was totallynot true , So I decided to pray about it. More I pray about it, more I'm feeling that is probably about some of the people we invited that she doesn't quite like included her ex-fiancee and his family.
A little background: We actually met her through a friend who was her fiancee at the time...i became very close to her, and Fi still has a normal old pal relationship with the guy...It was very clear to both of them that we don't take side in these situations. Both moved on and have each someone in their life.
Now, I called her back and I asked her upfront if it is because of her ex and his family ( Sisters ...) that are invited she's feeling this way...and she said
" Well I guess they are your friends and you have the right to invite anyone you want to your wedding " ... I got a little frustrated and soft at the same time and then I told her we should have probably thought more about her feelings before sending the website to them, and I'm sorry Blah blah "
She said, it's fine and that we can invite them if we still want though...and we both got emotional ( I apologize , she understood, she's happy etc and she add : " My mom actually warned me about you guys in a way. She thought you were too different from me and that people like you do stuff just to please people and they necesarely don't love them but they 're just fake and she cannot stand people like that...and she doesn't know why I am friend with you...I tried to told her that you are actually good people, but it's just that you know a lot of people...." and I said REALLY!!!!!! and she said, " yes..she thinks you are too nice to all people and she cannot trust you being good people etc..." She said, what she was trying to say is we should think about what her mom said ....and she dearly still want to stand by me because she loves us very much etc...
WOW !!! That's all I can say I couldn't even think...FI is very upset and couldn't believe the whole story and said the mom is out of the guestlist and doesn't even know what to think about the friend ( By the way, the mom has always been nice to us and very friendly)
I just prayed all day about the whole thing. I didn't know what to think...
I needed to vent...
This was really long! Sorry.