Promised, not yet engaged--how much planning is too much?

laurelarockefeller · August 2011

My gentleman and I are PROMISED, but not formally engaged yet. We just ended the months of long distance relationship with my move to PA to be with him (from Brooklyn, NY). We were very romantically promised on a carriage ride in Central Park--talking about a living history re-enactor's idea of romance!

I do not have a ring, but know he plans on giving me his late mother's engagement ring "when the time is right". I also know he does want to marry in the next 2-3 years. But I think he is holding back a little on the formal engagement because we only met in March of this year and wants to live together a little while to make absolutely certain a marriage together would last. Reasonable, but being a woman approaching 40, I'm a bit eager for him to be ready to give me that ring!

My question is this: when is the socially correct time to begin the planning of this thing? It's more than 90% certain to happen. I don't want to waste my energies on something that is not going to happen and have already done a lot of research (there are not one, but three google documents relating to different ideas, budgeting, etc).

Am I jumping the gun too much in working on this at all? What sorts of things is it more okay to work on than others?

I think my research is making him feel pressured to do this--which I really do not want to do!

cu97tiger · August 2011

You are smart in asking this question and not diving right in. Do not plan anything until you are officially engaged. '90%' is not guaranteed to happen. Plus, as many of us have found out before, some of the things you look at and think you want while you are pre-planning, don't end up being realistic or even what you want anymore. Also, with your timeline so spread out (2-3 years), you will have plenty of time once you are actually engaged to do all the planning you need to.

For what it's worth (FWIW), I'm planning my wedding in 8 months and 23 days. You don't need a long time to plan your day. Enjoy your relationship where it is right this minute, and be prepared to hear the same things I've said multiple times from other ladies on this board...

Blue & White · August 2011

I would work on finding your way around Pittsburgh

Then, once you're officially engaged, you can BOTH plan the wedding part. After all, the wedding is one day, the marriage is forever (hopefully). Don't you want both you and your husband to have fantastic memories of the wedding day? Despite TK's and the wedding industry's views, a wedding should be a celebration of the couple, not just the bride's every desire.

BUT, you can totally hang around here and chill out with us

ETA: I realized you moved FROM Brooklyn TO Pitt. Oops.

GreenPepperBurger · August 2011

Don't plan until the both of you agree you are engaged.

And hello from Brooklyn!

ETA: I would change your username. It's not good internet safety to have your full name as your username.

bawidget · August 2011

Any planning at this point is too much. Your BF is right in his feelings of wanting to live together first. You guys have only been dating about 6 months enjoy living together and getting to know each other better. A lot of people are going to say "Enjoy where you are right now" and they're right

. this goes for NEY ers of any age.

TheMutleys · August 2011

How does one get promised?

There is zero reason to jump ahead in planning. Wait until you both consider yourselves engaged. I think the most telling part of your post is the part that Liv bolded.

FWIW, our wedding was planned in under 6 months. Technically, we were engaged for 6 months and 6 days. However, the entire wedding was planned in less than 3 months.

bawidget · August 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_promised-not-yet-engaged-much-planning-much?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:69d9445c-8a2e-41ec-8a90-d6ce24906497Post:24177974-8c23-4cb3-9e99-1401e491758c">Re: Promised, not yet engaged--how much planning is too much?</a>:
[QUOTE] <strong>ETA: I would change your username. It's not good internet safety to have your full name as your username.
</strong>Posted by GreenPepperBurger[/QUOTE]

This: Unless this is a post and run and you want us to google you for some reason :P

TheMutleys · August 2011

Well, I think she also added her full name in her signature. Unless my pregnancy eyes missed it the first time.

OP, this isn't like an email. You don't need to sign your posts with your full name.

anythinggold · August 2011

OP is also referring to him as FI in other posts. If your BF hasn't said "we are getting married please start planning", then no. No more.

laurelarockefeller · August 2011

I look a look at the account section...and cannot change the username it would seem, but I do appreciate that advise. How would I change the signature for posts? I am very new to this board thing.

For some reason, the site posts my location as Pittsburgh when it is really Cambria county, PA (about 3 hours east of Pittsburgh) near Altoona. Yes, I wish it would stop that! My account does have the correct mailing address.

I have cooled down a lot of this since the fight over the whole engagement thing. i think one reason things are as well as they are is because we started out friends.

I do see about the changing one's mind thing. I made the mistake of actually buying a gown pattern (fortunately at about 75% off) then studying it and realizing there was NO WAY it would work, that the simplicity version of a Tudor gown was way too period incorrect and complicated compared to my Alter Years Irish Gown pattern that I already have.

That I'm marrying in Tudor is not likely to really change since I have a 2nd persona in my living history group that is 1530s and our idea is "wear it many times later as court garb." Since I've never sewed 16th century before, I am TESTING this Irish Gown pattern--as regular garb to wear to regular events.

But I am feeling more and more like more than just making myself a but not the 16th century dress...it's too much.

At the same time, this morning, my brain was in "I wonder..." and I spent 3 hours researching table coverings.

Is there an effective way to reign in my imagination here?

I think there are ultimately two reasons I've logged all that information: 1) I'm disabled and have horrible memory due to traumatic brain injury (for me to remember ANYTHING I need to write it down) and 2) we want to do this VERY FRUGALLY. It feels like if there is a time crunch, I will start to panic rather than go through that systematic, careful work that lets me find the best deal.

I found out, for example, that that beautiful gazebo in the local park where he and I often play racket sports together is available for weddings for FREE through our township! There was a wedding there two days ago that we saw a lot of folding chairs and decorations for, about 50 yards from the courts.

That's really gotten my brain thinking and imagining in this direction again.

GreenPepperBurger · August 2011

-_-

TheMutleys · August 2011

OP, do you really like polls? Sometimes, as adults, we have to make our own decisions without polling other people. Just sayin'.

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-theme-boards_offbeat-weddings_renaissancetudor-era-theme-anyone?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Theme%20BoardsForum:43453af6-2ee4-412a-99fb-cbb447240911Discussion:50cab826-3910-465c-892c-035df1790ebdPost:872dfe78-f4cc-4771-a673-7520117f4ff4">Renaissance/Tudor era in theme anyone?</a>:
[QUOTE]Hello all. My fiance and I are considering integrating Renaissance/Tudor era elements into our ceremony and two receptions (the second will be at Pennsic 42 in July 2013. The Pennsic War is, for those who don't know, the largest of the "war" re-enactments for the Society for Creative Anachronism and held in Slippery Rock, PA). I have been a part of the SCA since I was 18, over 20 years, and it only seems logical for my gown to be a Tudor gown (I usually play 12th century, but just LOVE Tudor gowns). My fiance's era is the turn of the 20th century--he's a steam engine rail fan. So I will wear Tudor and he will wear a Tuxedo ensemble that I think we are targeting towards 1900-1930 era.

However, I NEVER see advice on how to do period themed or period-inclusive weddings. My brother held an American Civil War wedding when he married in 1995 where he specified "1862" on the program--only to have all the women be blatantly period incorrect! As in turn of the 20th century dresses for the bridesmaids--and even a period incorrect gown for my sister in law!

So the only real examples of a history-related wedding I've seen has been my brother's disaster. I look at hair styles here and see NOTHING that relate to me at all.

Is anyone else using history as part of the theme? Medieval/renaissance? I would love to bounce ideas off people so our wedding and receptions will be much more period correct and flow better than my brother's!

For sites, we are looking at outdoor locations in both Cambria and Blair counties, PA (we live in Cambria county, despite the "pittsburgh" label on my profile) for the ceremony and indoor ones in the same general area for the first reception. I am trying to convince my new barony in the SCA to allow us to hold our Pennsic reception in the baronial common area (a big period pavillion used by the entire local group) since neither I nor my fiance camps; we stay in a hotel overnight for Pennsic!
Posted by laurelarockefeller[/QUOTE]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_outdoor-weddings_beeinsect-allergic-options?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:666Discussion:7553bb30-564b-4846-9bc3-5bfd575520fdPost:a728b4cc-8af8-4aa5-8e3e-f708d3e3eb32">Bee/insect allergic--options?</a>:
[QUOTE]Hello all. My fiance and I want to hold a small, private outdoor wedding followed by a much larger indoor reception in our area. Outdoor is important for me out of religious considerations: I'm Wiccan. As a general rule, outdoor is strongly preferred in my faith because our ancestors always worshipped "under the open sky"--hence why stone henge has no roof. My fiance is Christian. We want a deeply religious, inter-faith ceremony attended by only closest family/friends and those needed for each of our wedding elements. I am thinking about 45 minutes to 1 hour long.

I am hoping he will agree to May 25, 2013 as this is the only full moon date on a saturday in spring/summer I have located within the general time frame we want to marry in.

Unforunately for me with this religious consideration, I am near fatally allergic to not only bees and wasps, but ALL insects. Before moving to PA to be with my fiance, I lived in Brooklyn, NY for a long time--and often had cockroach infestations that proved the seriousness of my allergies. There is NOT ONE insect I've encountered that will not create my allergic reaction if I come in contact with it either directly or indirectly.

I want a rose and lavender bouquet (lavender is not only beautiful, my favorite color, and smells wonderful, but has very important religious symbolism), most likely a Renaissance nosegay (which is smaller and looser than modern nosegays) to match my 16th century gown.

However, I read that lavender is the FIRST FLOWER that bees are attracted to.

My gown will be lavender silk with a white linen underskirt overlain with white silk organza.

My first question is this: can I safely have a fresh flower bouquet at my ceremony--or do I need to forego this for my reception in the interests of safety? Are there rose varieties that have less scent and therefore less attractive to insects? How is late May in terms of the presence of bees and insects? How active are they?

What are my options for having my outdoor wedding without worrying about 80% + of my skin errupting into boils from the insect exposure?

It is very important to me religiously to be outside. At the same time, I prefer to get through all our celebrations without medical professionals getting involved.

What steps can I take to be more safe from the bugs?
Posted by laurelarockefeller[/QUOTE]

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lam2014 · August 2011

Promised to each other? The only promise i know of includes promise rings and teeny boppers because engagement/marriage is too serious at that time so they promise that one day it will happen..is this what you are referring to? A promise to get engaged?

Swazzle · August 2011

We need the chart. Where is Liv with the chart?!

OP: Have you & your SO agreed that you are engaged to each other?

If the answer is no, which it clearly is based on what you said in your first post up there, then you need to completely stop all of this planning, purchasing, sewing, & booking IMMEDIATELY. There is no such thing as pre-engaged or promised or anything else of the sort. You are either engaged nor not engaged and if you are not engaged you should not be planning your wedding.

lam2014 · August 2011

At the rate that you are going, you don't need to be engaged just get hitched when he feels it's time to propose because essentially engagement is the time to plan and it appears as though you will have it all planned by then...

ETA: In no way condoning the pre-planning. just saying that the engagement period will be pointless if she keeps this up lol

oceana919 · August 2011

Let me see if I got this straight...

You're approaching 40, with a disability/traumatic brain injury, and you've been dating your SO for three months, only having known him five months, and the majority of your relationship was spent long-distance. You are just "promised" to each other (what exactly does that mean? Like, he promised to marry you? Or your dad/brother/someone else promised him to you?). However, you have a venue, a dress pattern, linen colors, and some decor ideas down already. You are figuring on a 2-3 year engagement, but you genuinely fear that is not enough time to figure out a reasonably-priced wedding.

...I honestly wish I knew what advice to give you, but I honestly do not know what to say.

TheMutleys · August 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_promised-not-yet-engaged-much-planning-much?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:69d9445c-8a2e-41ec-8a90-d6ce24906497Post:1ceda714-0746-44ad-9095-76139065fa6a">Re: Promised, not yet engaged--how much planning is too much?</a>:
[QUOTE]I look a look at the account section...and cannot change the username it would seem, but I do appreciate that advise. How would I change the signature for posts? I am very new to this board thing.

For some reason, the site posts my location as Pittsburgh when it is really Cambria county, PA (about 3 hours east of Pittsburgh) near Altoona. Yes, I wish it would stop that! My account does have the correct mailing address.

I have cooled down a lot of this since the fight over the whole engagement thing.

i think one reason things are as well as they are is because we started out friends. I do see about the changing one's mind thing. I made the mistake of actually buying a gown pattern (fortunately at about 75% off) then studying it and realizing there was NO WAY it would work, that the simplicity version of a Tudor gown was way too period incorrect and complicated compared to my Alter Years Irish Gown pattern that I already have.

That I'm marrying in Tudor is not likely to really change since I have a 2nd persona in my living history group that is 1530s and our idea is "wear it many times later as court garb." Since I've never sewed 16th century before, I am TESTING this Irish Gown pattern--as regular garb to wear to regular events.

But I am feeling more and more like more than just making myself a but not the 16th century dress...it's too much.

At the same time, this morning, my brain was in "I wonder..." and I spent 3 hours researching table coverings.

Is there an effective way to reign in my imagination here?

I think there are ultimately two reasons I've logged all that information: 1) I'm disabled and have horrible memory due to traumatic brain injury (for me to remember ANYTHING I need to write it down) and 2) we want to do this VERY FRUGALLY. It feels like if there is a time crunch, I will start to panic rather than go through that systematic, careful work that lets me find the best deal.

I found out, for example, that that beautiful gazebo in the local park where he and I often play racket sports together is available for weddings for FREE through our township! There was a wedding there two days ago that we saw a lot of folding chairs and decorations for, about 50 yards from the courts.

That's really gotten my brain thinking and imagining in this direction again.
Posted by laurelarockefeller[/QUOTE]

These are all excuses. You are NOT engaged. There is zero need to start planning. Plus all of your 'research' now will not do you any good if your wedding is going to be in May of 2013! There is a ton that can change between now and then.

Put all of your energy into your current relationship. Put it into the here and now. You are only guaranteed today. The more you put your efforts into the future, the less you can be present in today. You are robbing your relationship of enjoying being with one another. Put your imagination to use for something that you can do for you boyfriend this weekend. Plan a great date. Do something fun for yourself.

marleylikeair · August 2011

Hey, I moved from Brooklyn, too! ::waves::

Okay, I know things are a bit different at 40 versus 26 (my age last year), but let me tell you my experience.

I met my BF in March of 2010 and moved across the country to be with him at this time last year. So almost exactly the same timeline of meeting/falling in love/moving as you!

I wanted to jump the gun. I was convinced a proposal was coming by Christmas. I was totally, completely head-over-heels and riding high on the rush of falling in love.

Christmas came and went. Now it's August 2011. We're still not engaged. I'm okay with that, but I sure wasn't expecting it to go that way at this time last year, when I was leafing through bridal magazines and bookmarking ideas on my computer.

The hints I was dropping and, erm, reading materials I was absorbed in, were not as exciting or fun for my BF as they were for me (though he was polite about them). If anything, I think my interest in that stuff weirded him out and probably ended up delaying the proposal. He was thinking about our future, too, but he was nowhere near ready to get down on one knee.

A couple months after that, we started having really bad fights. There was a ton of pressure on us for things to work. After all, I'd moved across the country to be with him. It just HAD to work. Moving like that was a huge step. Adjusting took time and was kind of tough for both of us, as much as we both wanted it. I never would have seen that tough time or all those terrible fights coming in a million years.

We were in love (still are) and I felt deeply connected to him, but looking back I can see that we didn't know each other well enough to consider marriage yet at that time (and probably could have used some more time before my making the decision to move out here and live with him). IME, you just can't know someone well enough after 5 months, especially if you haven't lived in the same city yet. You're still in the gushy, squishy, everything-is-perfect stage. In my experience, that phase lasts about 6-8 months, maybe a bit longer.

I'm not saying you absolutely can't know that the person is The One during this stage, but I *am* saying that as it subsides, you begin to go about the business of REALLY getting to know someone. Often, as was the case for me, you find out they aren't exactly who you thought. That can be totally okay and even a good thing, but you've got to take the time to get to know someone, post-gushy-phase, before you can commit to spending the rest of your life with them.

I think your BF is smart to want to live together first. It can give you a great idea of what you're getting into. Trust me, things changed a LOT once my BF and I were living together.

Here's my update: we've worked out a lot of our crap and are much better. We're back to being lovey-dovey. I don't regret moving here for a second, and I don't think I was wrong to have that feeling of *knowing* he was the one. We just moved REALLY quickly, as you and your BF are as well, and that put substantial kinks in things. And it could easily have turned out differently if we weren't careful. Also, we could have been wrong about things working out. It might have turned out that once our super-gushy phase wore off, we weren't right for each other. It's all about what happens in the next year for you guys, if you ask me.

Anyway, if you're still reading, my point is...step away from the planning. Step away from the budgeting, the pictures of dresses and flowers, and the dreaming of venues. Save stuff in your email if you want, but leave them sitting there and don't look at them. Things will change during the time it takes for you to get settled in in PA, the gushy phase to wear off, and your BF to adjust and be ready to propose. Heck, at this time last year, I dreamed of a wedding in my hometown, and now I think I'd like to have it here in Minnesota, where we live. Huge difference.

Gosh, that got really long. I hope it helps! Welcome to NEY.

Goldlie11 · August 2011

Wow, just wow.

desertsun · August 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_promised-not-yet-engaged-much-planning-much?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:69d9445c-8a2e-41ec-8a90-d6ce24906497Post:1ceda714-0746-44ad-9095-76139065fa6a">Re: Promised, not yet engaged--how much planning is too much?</a>:
[QUOTE] Is there an effective way to <strong>reign</strong> in my imagination here?
Posted by laurelarockefeller[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I literally laughed out loud at this. It's the most delicious misuse of a homophone EVER given the context of the rest of the post.</div><div>
</div><div>LMAO</div><div>
</div><div><span style="font-family:arial, sans-serif;line-height:13px;background-color:#ffffff;font-size:small;color:#000000;" class="Apple-style-span"><h3 style="font-size:medium;display:inline;padding:0px;margin:0px;" class="r g0"><em style="font-weight:bold;font-style:normal;">reign</em><span style="font:normal normal normal smaller/normal 'Doulos SIL', Gentum, 'TITUS Cyberbit Basic', Junicode, 'Aborigonal Serif', 'Arial Unicode MS', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'Chrysanthi Unicode';margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0.7em;">/rān/</span></h3><div class="s" style="max-width:42em;"><div><span style="color:#666666;" class="f">Verb: </span>Hold royal office; rule as king or queen.</div><div>
</div></div></span><span style="color:#000000;font-family:arial, sans-serif;line-height:13px;background-color:#ffffff;font-size:small;" class="Apple-style-span"><h3 style="font-size:medium;display:inline;padding:0px;margin:0px;" class="r g0"><strong>rein in</strong>:</h3><div class="s" style="max-width:42em;"><div>rein: stop or slow up one's horse or oneself by or as if by pulling the reins;</div></div></span><span style="color:#000000;font-family:arial, sans-serif;line-height:13px;background-color:#ffffff;font-size:small;" class="Apple-style-span"><div class="s" style="max-width:42em;"><div>
</div><div>
</div><div>
</div><div>
</div></div></span></div><div>
</div>

Hazel_B · August 2011

FWIW, I love the concensus in our voting.

desertsun · August 2011

Sorry, Laurel, it was just too funny.

Now for me to say something useful:

Stop planning until you are engaged. I don't have a traumatic brain injury, but I do have an absolutely horrible memory. I had a budget for my wedding, too.

And I planned it with no problems and a minimum of stress in SEVEN MONTHS.

You seem like a smart cookie. I really don't think you need to start planning two or three years in advance.

Wait until you're engaged.

ETA: And no, you can't change your SN once your account is created. You'll need to use a different email address to create a new account. But you really should do so right away.

marleylikeair · August 2011

P. S. Also, when the time does come, please don't dictate your guests' attire. They'll already be coming to your wedding and likely bringing a gift; I'm sure you wouldn't want them to be burdened with the cost and time commitment of a very specific dress code. Unless you're planning to provide the attire at no cost or inconvenience to them, skip this, okay?

TheMutleys · August 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_promised-not-yet-engaged-much-planning-much?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:69d9445c-8a2e-41ec-8a90-d6ce24906497Post:0ae4c333-b1f6-4980-9ad1-764050b50e40">Re: Promised, not yet engaged--how much planning is too much?</a>:
[QUOTE]P. S. Also, when the time does come, please don't dictate your guests' attire. They'll already be coming to your wedding and likely bringing a gift; I'm sure you wouldn't want them to be burdened with the cost and time commitment of a very specific dress code. Unless you're planning to provide the attire at no cost or inconvenience to them, skip this, okay?
Posted by marleylikeair[/QUOTE]

You don't have a closet full of period clothes to wear to your friends' weddings? You are a horrible friend. Hmpf.

I even have a dress for LA weddings.

CCO2012 · August 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_promised-not-yet-engaged-much-planning-much?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:69d9445c-8a2e-41ec-8a90-d6ce24906497Post:fde4215a-076b-4942-9d7e-a239bd99a79e">Re: Promised, not yet engaged--how much planning is too much?</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow, just wow.
Posted by Goldlie11[/QUOTE]

This!

marleylikeair · August 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_promised-not-yet-engaged-much-planning-much?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:69d9445c-8a2e-41ec-8a90-d6ce24906497Post:f9dc4aca-6182-4f63-8f21-89cac63cbd4c">Re: Promised, not yet engaged--how much planning is too much?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Promised, not yet engaged--how much planning is too much? : You don't have a closet full of period clothes to wear to your friends' weddings? You are a horrible friend. Hmpf. I even have a dress for LA weddings.
Posted by TheMutleys[/QUOTE]

<div>Heh. I actually think it would be fun as heck to go to a Tudor-themed wedding. But that's assuming I had the sewing skills, extra time, and extra cash to create a glorious ensemble.</div>

TheMutleys · August 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_promised-not-yet-engaged-much-planning-much?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:69d9445c-8a2e-41ec-8a90-d6ce24906497Post:bd238873-99c6-4e31-8678-0eb130f9f1ff">Re: Promised, not yet engaged--how much planning is too much?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Promised, not yet engaged--how much planning is too much? : Heh. I actually think it would be fun as heck to go to a Tudor-themed wedding. But that's assuming I had the sewing skills, extra time, and extra cash to create a glorious ensemble.
Posted by marleylikeair[/QUOTE]

Considering that I was pissed when I got an invite asking that guests wear black, red or white, I would be irate if my attire was dictated to that extent. As much as I love a costume party, a wedding does not fall into that category.

ETA: I realized that it sounds like I am disagreeing with you, when I am not. LOL. The whole idea just really pisses me off. Haha. I do think that in an imaginary world that a Tudor wedding would be really fun.

marleylikeair · August 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_promised-not-yet-engaged-much-planning-much?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:69d9445c-8a2e-41ec-8a90-d6ce24906497Post:7070cdb4-f416-4303-92b2-8aae1f1fb9a5">Re: Promised, not yet engaged--how much planning is too much?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Promised, not yet engaged--how much planning is too much? : Considering that I was pissed when I got an invite asking that guests wear black, red or white, I would be irate if my attire was dictated to that extent. As much as I love a costume party, a wedding does not fall into that category. ETA: I realized that it sounds like I am disagreeing with you, when I am not. LOL. The whole idea just really pisses me off. Haha. I do think that in an imaginary world that a Tudor wedding would be really fun.
Posted by TheMutleys[/QUOTE]

<div>I hear you. I don't think I would ever be hugely pissed off at something like this, but I understand that I'm not the norm. I tend to be more more accommodating than most--probably more than I should be! It could also have something to do with the fact that I'm a performer and am used to someone else dictating my attire/enjoy period costume a lot. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-smile.gif" border="0" alt="Smile" title="Smile" /></div>

NurseyK · August 2011

this hurts my brain.

desertsun · August 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_promised-not-yet-engaged-much-planning-much?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:69d9445c-8a2e-41ec-8a90-d6ce24906497Post:e0075aa5-7448-4490-a020-6aa80a011b9d">Re: Promised, not yet engaged--how much planning is too much?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Promised, not yet engaged--how much planning is too much? : I literally laughed out loud at this. It's the most delicious misuse of a homophone EVER given the context of the rest of the post. LMAO reign /rān/ Verb: Hold royal office; rule as king or queen. rein in : rein: stop or slow up one's horse or oneself by or as if by pulling the reins;
Posted by desertsun[/QUOTE]

No one else found this HILARIOUS???

I haz a sad. :(

marleylikeair · August 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_promised-not-yet-engaged-much-planning-much?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:69d9445c-8a2e-41ec-8a90-d6ce24906497Post:d87984aa-187d-4427-b63a-a3634343f4c0">Re: Promised, not yet engaged--how much planning is too much?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Promised, not yet engaged--how much planning is too much? : No one else found this HILARIOUS??? I haz a sad. :(
Posted by desertsun[/QUOTE]

<div>Rein and reign get swapped so often and it makes me so sad that I try not to notice anymore...</div>

Promised, not yet engaged--how much planning is too much?

Re: Promised, not yet engaged--how much planning is too much?

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