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How to decide the number of kippot to supply

skbaum01skbaum01
First Comment
in Jewish Weddings
We are having a Reform Jewish ceremony but most of my family, half of his family and almost all of our friends are not Jewish. The ceremony is taking place in a chapel that is not religion-specific. How do we decide how many kippot to purchase?

Since it is a Jewish ceremony, is it required that all males wear a kippah? Or is of personal preference? Would it be strange to ask on the RSVP card if a kippah is desired?

I just don't want to purchase one for every male if they won't wear them, but I suppose I could donate them afterwards.

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Re: How to decide the number of kippot to supply

  • october010brideoctober010bride
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We had a traditional ceremony in a reform temple. I am conservative, H is reform and about 75% of our guests were some form of Jewish.

    We ordered a kippah for every male guest and had the groomsmen hand them out to each make guest... it was very important for us to have each male wear one.

    If you want each male guest to wear one, order one for each guest and have someone hand one out and ask them to wear it during the ceremony.
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  • 2dBride2dBride member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    The first question is whether you want all your male guests to wear them.  Do you and/or your rabbi have any feelings on that topic?

    Even if you don't, I doubt it is worth asking on the RSVP card.  Our experience was that male guests, both Jewish and nonJewish, mostly wore them if they were available, even if they were not required.  In fact, some of our nonJewish guests were particularly thrilled with them ("I get to keep this?), whereas they were more normal for our Jewish guests.
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  • Musicheals71Musicheals71 member
    First Anniversary First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I made sure there were enough for ALL males.  However, no one was forced to wear one.
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  • vlevittvlevitt
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    ditto what the others said.  if wearing kippot at the wedding is important to you, there should be one kippah per male available.  wearing kippot is minchag (custom - but a very very entrenched one), and is not technically required except in synaoggues that insist on them.  if your chapel is non-specific to any religion then it's your choice whether to have kippot or not.  i'd suggest you either provide them or not. 

    don't ask if a kippah will be required. 

    on the day of the wedding it will be impossible (and potentially rude) to try to make sure those who asked for a kippah get one, and those who didn't ask for one don't.

    we had a traditional ceremony (kosher meal etc etc), but did not get married in a shul.  we didn't care if people wore them or not, so we chose not to provide them.  our religious guests brought their own.  many of our guests expected we would provide kippot and were a little surprised we didn't, but it was no biggee.

    we chose to spend out money on customized benschers, which we made available to guests as a keepsake and now use every shabbat.
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  • ciaramanciaraman
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We will provide enough for each male, and FI and I want all the males to wear them.   We'll have someone at the door passing out programs/kippot.  That being said, if someone really wants to put up a fight about not wearing it, it's not going to ruin my day.

    I would suggest checking with your rabbi about it ( I'm sure ours would put up a fight if we decided to not provide them), and then provide enough for everyone or none at all.  If you're planning to donate the extras, you might not want to personalize them though.
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  • aleznoffaleznoff member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    I am getting married by a rabbi, but not in a shul.  My rabbi said that the groom and groomsmen are all required to wear a kippot.  That's it.  I am going to several available if an attendant wants to wear one or have it as a keepsake for our wedding.  I don't want to push anyone to wear it. 

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  • reebsreebsreebsreebs member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In my community a lot of women would want to wear them, so we will probably get enough for 2/3 of the guests to have them.
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  • skbaum01skbaum01
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thanks! This helps a lot!
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