my first FI second

NAPgreen · June 2010

My FI was married once before because his gf was pg. They raised a beautiful boy who I cannot wait to be my step son. My FI tells me all the time he married for the wrong reason (he loves his son and would never change that, just wouldnt have gotten married) and that this time he is marrying for love and he could not be happier. Everything is completely different this time around for him and he gets an even say on everything we are doing.

I would like to do something special for his son. I need help though..do i want to add something to the ceremony (we are doing a unity candle service and dont want to change that) or do we just give him something special (he wants his name on everything we have gotten so far for it) Being my first wedding I dont know what to do. Any ideas of what I can do?

TeresaB2011 · June 2010

First how wonderful for you and congrads. How old is his son? Have you considered a sand ceremony where his son could also pour sand into the new one with both of you?

Sue-n-Kevin · June 2010

Congrats & welcome. Can't wait to hear about all your details.

I agree (if you want), having him part of the sand ceremony is nice. Or he can stand by his dad when you are married. It would help to know how old he is.

Good luck.

NAPgreen · June 2010

He is 7 years old so he understands what's going on and is very excited about it. He already is apart of the wedding party and is walking with my 8 year old cousin. We really wanted to do a unity candle ceremony so now we are thinking about the two of us lighting the candle and then having the sand as well for our new family with the sand holder saying Patrick Nicole Dylan (the son) and the future Greens to include our kiids (when we have them) as well.

MikesAngie · June 2010

We're having a sand ceremony, and my FI's 17 year old daughter will be included in that ceremony, and she will be presented with a ring (this was her choice) with a promise from me to love her and respect as though she were my own child. There are no vows between her and I and this presentation will happen after the sand ceremony.

The vows in our ceremony are between my FI and me, we do ask our guests who are mainly family to support our marriage.

AdelphiTN · June 2010

Ah a 7-yr-old would *love* to be the ring bearer. Such honor and duty! even if you have no one else in the party, he'd be so cute up there with you.

miacpet1221 · June 2010

I know sand ceremonies are all the rage nowadays, but when my mom remarried when I was ten, she and my step-father added in a Family Medallion portion of the ceremony after the Unity Candle that acknowledged me and my role in our new family. They presented me with a "family medallion" (piece of jewlery) and had some special words read. It was very nice, and I felt special without taking the spotlight off them. The website below is the one my parents used for their wedding:
https://www.familymedallion.com/intro.htm
It has a little history about the meaning and some interesting products. If your new step-son is not a jewelery person, they have pins and keychains as well. There is also a pre-written ceremony book to help you incorporate the ritual into your normal ceremony.

Something to think about...

Good Luck!

sindeez · June 2010

You are AWESOME!!! This is my second wedding and my Fiance''s first and I have 4 children from my first, we are including them as well. My suggestion would be to have your stepson participate in the unity ceremony, if you are doing sand let him have his own cylinder, if you are doing a candle let him have his own candle. You sound like you are going to be a wonderful mother to him! Good luck with the planning and make sure to have him sit at the head table with you guys, my kids are thrilled to be able to be up there with us

Cindy

RochelleAnn2302 · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_first-fi-second?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:60a661a5-6437-4f1b-be48-2a9134cac42cPost:57d321df-6b6e-4197-ac24-dedd71b476b0">Re: my first FI second</a>:
[QUOTE]I know sand ceremonies are all the rage nowadays, but when my mom remarried when I was ten, she and my step-father added in a Family Medallion portion of the ceremony after the Unity Candle that acknowledged me and my role in our new family. They presented me with a "family medallion" (piece of jewlery) and had some special words read. It was very nice, and I felt special without taking the spotlight off them. The website below is the one my parents used for their wedding: <a href="https://www.familymedallion.com/intro.htm" rel="nofollow">https://www.familymedallion.com/intro.htm</a> It has a little history about the meaning and some interesting products. If your new step-son is not a jewelery person, they have pins and keychains as well. There is also a pre-written ceremony book to help you incorporate the ritual into your normal ceremony. Something to think about... Good Luck!
Posted by miacpet1221[/QUOTE]

hmmmm suspicious post... vendor??

My mom and step dad married when I was 8 and we didn't have the internet then :) Anyway I was a "junior bridesmaid" at their wedding and I know they did something at their ceremony but honestly right now I can't remember what it was. That was 18 years ago after all :) I think actually my grandma got me something to give to my step dad or something like that. I was welcoming him into our family i guess!

my first FI second

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