Jail time for spreading HIV?

AmoroAgain · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_jail-time-spreading-hiv?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e1a7fdc5-4ac0-44b6-ac04-310061d5d841Post:55dd3734-c379-49e9-8359-2b0da0f92c4a">Re: Jail time for spreading HIV?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Jail time for spreading HIV? : I disagree. Her motive was, and I'm copying and pasting from the article here: Benaissa said doctors had told her the risk of transmitting the virus was "practically zero" and she did not want to jeopardise her success by revealing she was HIV positive.
Posted by xyrius[/QUOTE]

I understand that, and there is a fine line here, but it's not like she was trying to take a number of people down with her.

andy71781 · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_jail-time-spreading-hiv?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e1a7fdc5-4ac0-44b6-ac04-310061d5d841Post:0edd3bbf-8944-409f-ade9-5053d13e1fe9">Re: Jail time for spreading HIV?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Jail time for spreading HIV? : Does it make a father no longer responsible if he asks if you're on birth control and you lie and say yes?
Posted by mandapanda78[/QUOTE]

no because he still did the deed. I feel sad for the people who got infected but come on. If you are having sex with somebody who you don't know very well you need to take the time to protect yourself! Its not like this is the 1990s when AIDS was a "new" thing.

AmoroAgain · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_jail-time-spreading-hiv?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e1a7fdc5-4ac0-44b6-ac04-310061d5d841Post:04c4b5ea-1147-41a1-ab8e-00a31ea632c7">Re: Jail time for spreading HIV?</a>:
[QUOTE]Drunk drivers don't "intend" to kill people either, but when they do - they are 100% responsible. I just feel for the man who contracted HIV. He's going to have this for the rest of his life, possibly even die from it, and she gets a slap on the wrist. There is no justice in this.
Posted by xyrius[/QUOTE]
Would it make everything better if she went to jail? What does that do? Anything?

xyrius · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_jail-time-spreading-hiv?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e1a7fdc5-4ac0-44b6-ac04-310061d5d841Post:0edd3bbf-8944-409f-ade9-5053d13e1fe9">Re: Jail time for spreading HIV?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Jail time for spreading HIV? : Does it make a father no longer responsible if he asks if you're on birth control and you lie and say yes?
Posted by mandapanda78[/QUOTE]

Having a child is not a life-threatening disease.

If you intentionnally trick a man to impregnate you.... I don't know what the consequence of that should be.

baystateapple · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_jail-time-spreading-hiv?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e1a7fdc5-4ac0-44b6-ac04-310061d5d841Post:32b23ed0-76f2-4d85-aedd-a8bd069cfd8c">Re: Jail time for spreading HIV?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Jail time for spreading HIV? : no because he still did the deed. I feel sad for the people who got infected but come on. If you are having sex with somebody who you don't know very well you need to take the time to protect yourself! Its not like this is the 1990s when AIDS was a "new" thing.
Posted by andy71781[/QUOTE]

This. I agree with this wholeheartedly. Yes, I think she's very much to blame for not telling him about her HIV, and for not insisting that he use a condom. But he is incredibly stupid for not wearing one in the first place. Anyone with half a brain protects him or herself these days. We all know what AIDS is, and what it does.

LDYGTR13 · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_jail-time-spreading-hiv?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e1a7fdc5-4ac0-44b6-ac04-310061d5d841Post:05b66fff-23eb-4af5-b26a-dbfc81390c78">Re: Jail time for spreading HIV?</a>:
[QUOTE]she has to be lying, you'd have to be living in a hole to not know that you can transmit HIV to other people
Posted by xyrius[/QUOTE]

Plus, you would think if you were told you had an incurable and deadly disease you might to a little research on it...even if she DID live in a hole.

I definitely think jail time is appropriate. It's basically a slow murder. While it's more treatable now than it ever has been before - it's still a death sentence. True - the guy should have worn a condom, but guys are guys, especially when it comes to sex. I know VERY few (if any) guys who are adamant about wearing condoms, typically that responsibility lies on the woman in the situation to tell the fella to glove up or she's closing her legs.

She knew she had a disease. Even if it's less likely to be transferred from a woman to a man it's still possible. She should have INSISTED he wear a condom - and I would think that if someone told me "hey - FYI, I'm HIV positive" even if I was a dude who REALLY wanted some sex, I'd at the very least put on a condom.

I have a feeling she failed to inform him (I didn't read the whole thing...) and that just isn't acceptable.

xyrius · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_jail-time-spreading-hiv?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e1a7fdc5-4ac0-44b6-ac04-310061d5d841Post:62846c31-6c46-40a6-9bea-6faaeeef710c">Re: Jail time for spreading HIV?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Jail time for spreading HIV? : This. I agree with this wholeheartedly. Yes, I think she's very much to blame for not telling him about her HIV, and for not insisting that he use a condom. But he is incredibly stupid for not wearing one in the first place. Anyone with half a brain protects him or herself these days. We all know what AIDS is, and what it does.
Posted by baystateapple[/QUOTE]

interesting take, but let me ask all of you married knotties this.

do you have or have you had unprotected sex with your husband? I have, obviously. i have never seen his HIV test, and I have to take his word for it that he doesn't have it. have any of you seen your spouses HIV test?

and what if your husband cheats on you and contracts HIV? he's still not responsible? it's your fault because you didn't make your husband wear a condom?

LDYGTR13 · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_jail-time-spreading-hiv?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e1a7fdc5-4ac0-44b6-ac04-310061d5d841Post:3b546472-b882-4051-bc5e-66ff47bba7ea">Re: Jail time for spreading HIV?</a>:
[QUOTE]For me, I figure she's probably got a bit of money, and as treatments are expensive, she should be paying for his. I don't think jail times really "does" anything, kwim? However, being told she has to shoulder the burden for someone elses' treatments... that's an impact she's always going to feel.
Posted by AmoroAgain[/QUOTE]

After reading this - I think that's an AWESOME idea - however, just for putting someone in danger, I feel like at least a teensy bit of jail time (if for no other reason than maybe helping set an example) would also be appropriate.

Hellokatie0517 · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_jail-time-spreading-hiv?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e1a7fdc5-4ac0-44b6-ac04-310061d5d841Post:571eaf73-1f56-4060-9b26-86c12ec8037a">Re: Jail time for spreading HIV?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Jail time for spreading HIV? : This made me throw up in my mouth a little bit.
Posted by FutureMrsTR[/QUOTE]

I had the same reaction when I read the article.

AmoroAgain · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_jail-time-spreading-hiv?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e1a7fdc5-4ac0-44b6-ac04-310061d5d841Post:eaae6777-9ab6-40da-b0b1-322f2141a095">Re: Jail time for spreading HIV?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Jail time for spreading HIV? : Plus, you would think if you were told you had an incurable and deadly disease you might to a little research on it...even if she DID live in a hole. I definitely think jail time is appropriate. It's basically a slow murder. While it's more treatable now than it ever has been before - it's still a death sentence. <strong>True - the guy should have worn a condom, but guys are guys, especially when it comes to sex. I know VERY few (if any) guys who are adamant about wearing condoms, typically that responsibility lies on the woman in the situation to tell the fella to glove up or she's closing her legs.</strong> She knew she had a disease. Even if it's less likely to be transferred from a woman to a man it's still possible. She should have INSISTED he wear a condom - and I would think that if someone told me "hey - FYI, I'm HIV positive" even if I was a dude who REALLY wanted some sex, I'd at the very least put on a condom. I have a feeling she failed to inform him (I didn't read the whole thing...) and that just isn't acceptable.
Posted by LDYGTR13[/QUOTE]
I'm sorry, but did you just absolve ALL men of responsibility for every sexual related mishap because they are GUYS??

mandapanda78 · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_jail-time-spreading-hiv?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e1a7fdc5-4ac0-44b6-ac04-310061d5d841Post:4b614efd-bb26-4c31-b745-5ffe249564f2">Re: Jail time for spreading HIV?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Jail time for spreading HIV? : interesting take, but let me ask all of you married knotties this. do you have or have you had unprotected sex with your husband? I have, obviously. i have never seen his HIV test, and I have to take his word for it that he doesn't have it. <strong> have any of you seen your spouses HIV test?</strong> and what if your husband cheats on you and contracts HIV? he's still not responsible? it's your fault because you didn't make your husband wear a condom?
Posted by xyrius[/QUOTE]

<div>Yes. And he's seen mine.</div><div>
</div><div>I'd also like to reiterate that <strong>no one</strong> here has said it is this man's fault for contracting HIV. This woman did something deplorable and she should be punished in some way. What I, and many others, are saying is that placing 100% responsibility on her is absurd. Not acknowledging that he had some role in his own fate is, frankly, dangerous and ignorant. </div>

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · August 2010

About 15 years ago there was a case like that in western NY. This guy (who LOOKED like a total sleazebag) was sent to jail for knowingly having unprotected sex with almost 30 women while HIV positive. Some of them turned up HIV positive.

15 years ago, though HIV was a death sentence. It's not necessarily today - it can be controlled for many, many years. BUT that doesn't mean it doesn't have a stigma and isn't expensive/a PITA to treat.

xyrius · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_jail-time-spreading-hiv?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e1a7fdc5-4ac0-44b6-ac04-310061d5d841Post:b91c3d52-bcbe-4d5c-9d86-7537eb3c8947">Re: Jail time for spreading HIV?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Jail time for spreading HIV? : Yes. And he's seen mine. I'd also like to reiterate that no one here has said it is this man's fault for contracting HIV. This woman did something deplorable and she should be punished in some way. What I, and many others, are saying is that placing 100% responsibility on her is absurd. Not acknowledging that he had some role in his own fate is, frankly, dangerous and ignorant.
Posted by mandapanda78[/QUOTE]

i'm not absolving him either. but i just don't buy the argument that he should have worn a condom to defend the "she's sorry so let's give her a slap on the wrist" judgement

baystateapple · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_jail-time-spreading-hiv?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e1a7fdc5-4ac0-44b6-ac04-310061d5d841Post:4b614efd-bb26-4c31-b745-5ffe249564f2">Re: Jail time for spreading HIV?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Jail time for spreading HIV? : interesting take, but let me ask all of you married knotties this. do you have or have you had unprotected sex with your husband? I have, obviously. i have never seen his HIV test, and I have to take his word for it that he doesn't have it. have any of you seen your spouses HIV test? and what if your husband cheats on you and contracts HIV? he's still not responsible? it's your fault because you didn't make your husband wear a condom?
Posted by xyrius[/QUOTE]

No, I have never had unprotected sex with FI. I had an STD test taken shortly after we started dating, and it was clean. He had one taken before he started working at the hospital. So we both know we're clean, but still, we have not had unprotected sex. He refuses to. Primarily to avoid pregnancy, but there is no way I would have had unprotected sex with him before I knew for sure that he didn't have anything.

I had a boyfriend once who cheated on me with a girl who had herpes. I found out AFTER we broke up. We never had sex, but we did "everything else", and I was scared to death that I could have caught it. The risk was just too big for me to ever do anything unprotected with a guy after that.

FutureMrsTR · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_jail-time-spreading-hiv?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e1a7fdc5-4ac0-44b6-ac04-310061d5d841Post:4b614efd-bb26-4c31-b745-5ffe249564f2">Re: Jail time for spreading HIV?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Jail time for spreading HIV? : interesting take, but let me ask all of you married knotties this. do you have or have you had unprotected sex with your husband? I have, obviously. i have never seen his HIV test, and I have to take his word for it that he doesn't have it. have any of you seen your spouses HIV test? and what if your husband cheats on you and contracts HIV? he's still not responsible? it's your fault because you didn't make your husband wear a condom?
Posted by xyrius[/QUOTE]

There's a difference between having unprotected sex with your husband and unprotected sex with a stranger, though. I don't think you can reasonably expect any level of honesty or forthcoming-ness from a stranger like you can from your husband.

I think she was in the wrong, but I don't think this is a fair comparison. And I don't think anyone is saying that it's the guys FAULT, just that he has to shoulder SOME of the blame.

Beachy730 · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_jail-time-spreading-hiv?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e1a7fdc5-4ac0-44b6-ac04-310061d5d841Post:c29493e2-5885-488f-9ffc-7c95674b05aa">Re: Jail time for spreading HIV?</a>:
[QUOTE]About 15 years ago there was a case like that in western NY. This guy (who LOOKED like a total sleazebag) was sent to jail for knowingly having unprotected sex with almost 30 women while HIV positive. Some of them turned up HIV positive. 15 years ago, though HIV was a death sentence. It's not necessarily today - it can be controlled for many, many years. BUT that doesn't mean it doesn't have a stigma and isn't expensive/a PITA to treat.
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

Yep thats the guy I posted about. Click the link to see a pic of him.

<a href="http://abcnews.go.com/TheLaw/hiv-predator-confined-jail-officials-confined-life/story?id=11210268">http://abcnews.go.com/TheLaw/hiv-predator-confined-jail-officials-confined-life/story?id=11210268</a>

Anyone have a double standard now?

mandapanda78 · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_jail-time-spreading-hiv?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e1a7fdc5-4ac0-44b6-ac04-310061d5d841Post:dcdc24c5-f948-41b4-996c-64ba71ae6419">Re: Jail time for spreading HIV?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Jail time for spreading HIV? : i'm not absolving him either. but i just don't buy the argument that he should have worn a condom to defend the "she's sorry so let's give her a slap on the wrist" judgement
Posted by xyrius[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>If you took away from this that I was supporting a "slap on the wrist" for her then I apologize for not being clear enough. I thought my use of the words "criminal" and "deplorable" made my stance pretty clear, but maybe not.

</div>

baystateapple · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_jail-time-spreading-hiv?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e1a7fdc5-4ac0-44b6-ac04-310061d5d841Post:eaae6777-9ab6-40da-b0b1-322f2141a095">Re: Jail time for spreading HIV?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Jail time for spreading HIV? : <strong>True - the guy should have worn a condom, but guys are guys, especially when it comes to sex. I know VERY few (if any) guys who are adamant about wearing condoms, typically that responsibility lies on the woman in the situation to tell the fella to glove up or she's closing her legs.</strong>
Posted by LDYGTR13[/QUOTE]

A) I don't know what kind of guys you know, but every guy friend I have now (that I'm close enough to talk about sex to) has told me that they will NEVER go un protected with a girl who they're casually dating or who they don't know is clean or not. Again, mainly for pregnancy purposes, but still!

B) No. I don't care if "guys are guys". They can man up and do the responsible thing. You seem to have a low opinion of men in this response -- I don't know if that's really your POV, but that's definitely how you're coming across here. A man is just as responsible as a woman when it comes to safe sex.

AmoroAgain · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_jail-time-spreading-hiv?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e1a7fdc5-4ac0-44b6-ac04-310061d5d841Post:4b614efd-bb26-4c31-b745-5ffe249564f2">Re: Jail time for spreading HIV?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Jail time for spreading HIV? : interesting take, but let me ask all of you married knotties this. do you have or have you had unprotected sex with your husband? I have, obviously. i have never seen his HIV test, and I have to take his word for it that he doesn't have it. have any of you seen your spouses HIV test? and what if your husband cheats on you and contracts HIV? he's still not responsible? it's your fault because you didn't make your husband wear a condom?
Posted by xyrius[/QUOTE]
There's a huge difference in the relationship between a husband and wife and a boyfriend.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_jail-time-spreading-hiv?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e1a7fdc5-4ac0-44b6-ac04-310061d5d841Post:e7a2bcd2-9d04-4375-a9d5-a9de0cae79cf">Re: Jail time for spreading HIV?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Jail time for spreading HIV? : But he's not comparable to someone who was on their way home from work and got slammed by a drunk driver. He's comparable to someone who got into a car with someone who may have been drinking and they then got into an accident. Don't get me wrong. It's terrible, awful that he got infected. And what she did was really wrong. <strong>But there was a point at which he could have made a choice that resulted in him not getting infected at all. </strong>
Posted by mandapanda78[/QUOTE]

But she could have made an even <em>more </em>informed decision about using protection, given that she KNEW she was HIV positive. This entire argument is a little too close to vistim-blaming for comfort. Why is birth control only one partner's responsibility?

xyrius · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_jail-time-spreading-hiv?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e1a7fdc5-4ac0-44b6-ac04-310061d5d841Post:2e9b6dbe-05cf-4522-b4c6-628b5ddd9553">Re: Jail time for spreading HIV?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Jail time for spreading HIV? : If you took away from this that I was supporting a "slap on the wrist" for her then I apologize for not being clear enough. I thought my use of the words "criminal" and "deplorable" made my stance pretty clear, but maybe not.
Posted by mandapanda78[/QUOTE]

I was responding more in general to those people who do not think she should get jail time.

baystateapple · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_jail-time-spreading-hiv?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e1a7fdc5-4ac0-44b6-ac04-310061d5d841Post:8e1a22b7-6a6d-49db-9d17-a14debdf356e">Re: Jail time for spreading HIV?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Jail time for spreading HIV? : But she could have made an even more informed decision about using protection, given that she KNEW she was HIV positive. This entire argument is a little too close to vistim-blaming for comfort. Why is birth control only one partner's responsibility?
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

I could be wrong, but I think Manda isn't trying to blame the victim, she's trying to point out that both of them were irresponsible, and both of them should have made wiser decisions. She definitely did a selfish and irresponsible thing, but he DID know (at least, he should have) that having unprotected sex with someone whose sexual history you don't know is ALWAYS a risk.

LDYGTR13 · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_jail-time-spreading-hiv?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e1a7fdc5-4ac0-44b6-ac04-310061d5d841Post:0675ba4f-bc1f-493d-8f39-f6ac4e846cc3">Re: Jail time for spreading HIV?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Jail time for spreading HIV? : I'm sorry, but did you just absolve ALL men of responsibility for every sexual related mishap because they are GUYS??
Posted by AmoroAgain[/QUOTE]

Haha, in a way yes, but that was not how it was intended - I'm only half paying attention this morning - my boss is on the phone on the other side of the office and I'm trying to grasp what she's talking to one of our vendors about.

I mean, seriously, if a guy (not all....but many) thinks he's getting sex he doesn't think as intelligently as he should. Many guys (especially those who are going to get them into a situation such as this one with the article) who will be loose and just have a "get laid" attitude aren't going to be as adamant about the condom thing. It's just an observation based on what I've seen. I could be completely wrong. Many of the guys I went to college with were like this...granted, I went to college in Mississippi - we're #1 for teenage pregnancy.

mandapanda78 · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_jail-time-spreading-hiv?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e1a7fdc5-4ac0-44b6-ac04-310061d5d841Post:d843508a-d1de-4e75-8c7f-c4ff3d9834c5">Re: Jail time for spreading HIV?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Jail time for spreading HIV? : A) I don't know what kind of guys you know, but every guy friend I have now (that I'm close enough to talk about sex to) has told me that they will NEVER go un protected with a girl who they're casually dating or who they don't know is clean or not. Again, mainly for pregnancy purposes, but still! B) No. I don't care if "guys are guys". They can man up and do the responsible thing. <strong>You seem to have a low opinion of men in this response -- I don't know if that's really your POV, but that's definitely how you're coming across here.</strong> A man is just as responsible as a woman when it comes to safe sex.
Posted by baystateapple[/QUOTE]

<div>My thoughts exactly.</div>

xyrius · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_jail-time-spreading-hiv?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e1a7fdc5-4ac0-44b6-ac04-310061d5d841Post:4e52b256-3ad9-4e67-a121-f093d65aec2c">Re: Jail time for spreading HIV?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Jail time for spreading HIV? : There's a huge difference in the relationship between a husband and wife and a boyfriend.
Posted by AmoroAgain[/QUOTE]

I was with my FI for 3 years when we decided to have a child together. We don't know the length of time she was together with this person.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_jail-time-spreading-hiv?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e1a7fdc5-4ac0-44b6-ac04-310061d5d841Post:91df8bef-48ac-44f4-b981-e365f6ad6911">Re: Jail time for spreading HIV?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Jail time for spreading HIV? : Yep thats the guy I posted about. Click the link to see a pic of him. <a href="http://abcnews.go.com/TheLaw/hiv-predator-confined-jail-officials-confined-life/story?id=11210268" rel="nofollow">http://abcnews.go.com/TheLaw/hiv-predator-confined-jail-officials-confined-life/story?id=11210268</a> Anyone have a double standard now?
Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]

That's what I get for not reading all the responses. But yeah, creepy mccreeperson.

Goldlie11 · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_jail-time-spreading-hiv?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e1a7fdc5-4ac0-44b6-ac04-310061d5d841Post:4b614efd-bb26-4c31-b745-5ffe249564f2">Re: Jail time for spreading HIV?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Jail time for spreading HIV? : interesting take, but let me ask all of you married knotties this. do you have or have you had unprotected sex with your husband? I have, obviously. <strong>i have never seen his HIV test, and I have to take his word for it that he doesn't have it.</strong> <strong>have any of you seen your spouses HIV test? </strong>and what if your husband cheats on you and contracts HIV? he's still not responsible? it's your fault because you didn't make your husband wear a condom?
Posted by xyrius[/QUOTE]
I insisted that we go together. I would never take someone's word for it.

mandapanda78 · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_jail-time-spreading-hiv?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e1a7fdc5-4ac0-44b6-ac04-310061d5d841Post:a443a5b9-8d63-4dbc-b574-48629482085c">Re: Jail time for spreading HIV?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Jail time for spreading HIV? : I was with my FI for 3 years when we decided to have a child together. We don't know the length of time she was together with this person.
Posted by xyrius[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>The article states it was 3 months.

</div>

AmoroAgain · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_jail-time-spreading-hiv?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e1a7fdc5-4ac0-44b6-ac04-310061d5d841Post:8e1a22b7-6a6d-49db-9d17-a14debdf356e">Re: Jail time for spreading HIV?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Jail time for spreading HIV? : But she could have made an even more informed decision about using protection, given that she KNEW she was HIV positive. This entire argument is a little too close to vistim-blaming for comfort. Why is birth control only one partner's responsibility?
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

H and I both partner on this. I was taking BCP for several years, and I ran out right after we moved here, without being legal to get a doctor visit just yet. And then, after the cray way my body reacted after going off them, I told H I'd never go back on them, so we had to compromise on using condoms OR he had to get snipped, becaues the drugs just aren't worth it.

I think that realistically speaking, birth control is primarily a femal thing is because we just take more responsibility for our bodies, and also, I don't think enough men have grown into the "I'm responsible for this too" kind of thing OTHER than with condoms. Generally speaking, anything but condoms is quite a bit more invasive for men.

It is also a "power" thing for women. We have the power to control our bodies now, we control how many kids we have, when we have our periods and how bad. And that's a relatively new thing in the grand scheme of things for us.

xyrius · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_jail-time-spreading-hiv?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e1a7fdc5-4ac0-44b6-ac04-310061d5d841Post:c85f4dfa-d764-43dd-9e5d-010e64b69629">Re: Jail time for spreading HIV?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Jail time for spreading HIV? : The article states it was 3 months.
Posted by mandapanda78[/QUOTE]

oops, sorry. :)

Jail time for spreading HIV?

Re: Jail time for spreading HIV?

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